Is divorce always gonna be this hard to deal with?

Question

The anger, rejection, hate(sometimes), regret and missing my daughter.

Answer 1

Well, it can be. Or ...you have the power to turn it around. Make a plan to see your daughter on a regular basis and stick to it. Don't make her promises you can't keep (that really affects kids). Think what you want, but do not talk badly about your ex in front of your child. You can counter what your ex might say about you to your child by being the "listening ear" and not the "lecturer." Kids learn to see through the parent who is constantly criticizing.

Answer 2

Yes I'm afraid it does for a while, If you can be at least amicable for the childs sake then you can get away with a lot of bad feeling.

It's a real shame that people dont work at it anymore== like its more hassle than its worth but divorce should be the last resort and personally I feel sorry for the child.

Rightly or wrongly she will be the pawn in the middle and Using her as such to hurt each other is not the way. Arrangements for regular contact should be in place and any maintenance should also be paid for the upkeep of the child, this will be favourable when and if the judge decides appropriate where the child belongs.

If you ex wife puts all grievences aside she is doing so in hers and your daughters best interest, If not then she will be denying you the right to maintain access to her which is wrong. You were both adult to conceive her so its only fair that you are both adult enough to remain civil because in all fairness she will suffer if you guys cant come to an arrangement and if the judge decides, he will give you his view and tell you what you are entitled to.

If you can keep in civil you are laughing and once its all over, you get on with yours she gets on with hers and your daughter will get love from both..

Answer 3

No. Eventually all those feelings will fade. Do u have any kind of visitation with ur kid? If not, find a way to get some, then u won't miss her. U probably feel guilty for splitting up her family too. If so, if u get time with her, and show that her parents can make this work--separately, u'll get over it, and won't miss her as much. Life always has regrets, but at the time, it was the best choice in ur mind. It'll get easier as time goes on. Just don't dwell on it. Try to learn from that experience, and become a better person than u were in that previous union. Try to see the good in ur ex, and in urself, and things will look up for u. Good luck, god bless.

Answer 4

Seperation and Divorce is one of the hardest things to deal with. It all depends on the circumstances that lead to it.
I am currently going through a divorce and having 4 children makes it a complete emotional rollercoaster.
It's corny but very true, time heals so so much! My Wife and I seperated over a year ago and it was the lowest point in my life. Suddenly realising that I couldn't be the "Dad" I wanted to be anymore was the hardest thing. I have now dealt with all the hurt and the reasons behind why the marriage failed. It is all looking good again. So hang in there, keep your chin up and remember that there is a life afterwards, you just need to be sensible and it will all click into place.

Answer 5

It gets easier with time but the missing your daughter will never go away nor will the wishing things had worked out differently. In time the hate will go away as long as the fighting stops. The anger will die down as well. Once the initial feelings of rejection pass and you have started talking to other people the rejection will go away.

Answer 6

I've recently been through the same thing - but there does come a point where you wake up one morning and realise that things arent going to change - so the only way is forward. I still have my moments (especially- missing my son - bedtime stories, footie in the garden before bed etc) but I make every effort I can to be part of his life and to be there for him. Keep the moral high ground too - never let your daughter hear you say bad things aboout her Mum and never argue in front of the kids. Believe me this pays dividends.

I read a really good book which helped alot - 'Rebuilding:- When your relationship ends' by Bruce Fisher. Its on Amazon.

Good luck. Stay calm and see as much of your daughter as you can. You are her Dad and you ALWAYS will be.

Answer 7

Your always going to mis your daughter and there fore you must spend every moment with her like a cherished commodity.Have funa nd let her know how much love you have for her and above all else dont down her mom or talk about the divorce. The bitterness and even hatred is normal but know this if you hate your ex wife then you end up in a way hating part of your child for after all 50% of her is you and your wife.

Answer 8

I don't know personally. But like all the others say it takes time to feel better. I presume you still love this other person? You can't stop loving just because you both agree it's over. You both have a strong bond together for the rest of your life (Your daughter) whatever happens in the future time does heal but you will allways have feelings for this other person. Just try and deal with in the best way you can head on. That's how i think i would deal with it.

Answer 9

Let go of the anger and regret...wasted energy and emotions...you cannot do anything about the past, but remember the lessons learned. You are the same person you have always been but feel a failure...get over it now...IF you expend energy on bad things, you will not have enough left over to do good things that you need to do. Good luck

Answer 10

Like everything, time heals a lot. You aren't very specific. You shouldn't have to miss your child too much - aren't you getting to visit or anything?? No divorce is hard in the beginning (even when people say it is an amicable slpit - you usually end up having more problems than expected) but time will help you. Hang in there.