What do you think of this dream? What should I do?

Question

I have a recurring nightmare of watching my husband have sex with other women. He never hears me screaming at him, nor does he feel it when I bite him or whatever. He just goes right on and usually he ends up telling me he is leaving me. I have it almost every night, it sucks.


Have you ever had a similar dream? What did you do to make it stop? What should I do, it's driving me insane?

for Julia... my husband was raised strictly religious and claims that he doesn't think about sex. He rejects my advances almost everytime. We go for weeks sometimes without sex, and he is always too tired or isn't in the modd. however, i have recently seen on the history that he has been looking at porn... see my Q's from a few days ago... thanks a bunch

Answer 1

Your resulting nightmarish dream is your subconscious mind under stress caused by the feelings you have of abandonment.
The somewhat violent description (your screaming and biting) visualization of your husband "taking" another woman is your brain trying to deal with the stress you have of insecurities you have mentioned in prior questions.
I am kidding you in a "punch in the arm" kind of way with this line: "I was a little surprised you didn't mention the woman your hubby was banging in that dream was thinner than you, better looking than you, and able to support herself financially on her own with no help!" Why would I kid you about these insecurities you ask, eh? It's because those are the three big things you will have to deal with mentally, and then conquer each, to end these nightmarish dreams.
1. Weight: Most guys would give a lot to introduce a person as wonderful as you as their wife. I'm betting your hubby feels the exact same way. You are the size you are now, and you may get real thin or you may expand to blimpo proportions. You will have to cope with that. For me, I don't mind being overweight because I like to eat. I just don't want to get bigger than the size of a standard coach airplane seat!
2. Looks: Your pretty face is more timeless than the universe and YOU KNOW IT. Ultimately, what makes your face pretty is who you are, and you are a wonderful human being. The fact is any guy (even gay) finds you waaaay easy on the eyes. You are an awesome gorgeous looking woman.
3. Financial Support: You could support yourself on your own, yet it would be a really tough time for a while. Just know a lot of folks keep bad relationships going for convenience. The fact is you can do it if you keep a positive attitude and don't give up when you fall flat on your waaaaay pretty face. If you know you won't ever give up, nothing but death can stop you from your own success.
Not feeling good about yourself, Colorist, has you insecure about these issues. Once you have really dealt with those items, you will find your dreams will change in a corresponding manner.
It won't be easy, yet you are asking the questions to find the strength to do what you need to do to go on.
I respect you and I respect the way you share your journey more than you may know.
My wish is for your life to stop sucking post haste.

Answer 2

I don't know, never had an experience like that before.

One thing I do know however is that you cannot make it just stop. A recurring dream is like your brain trying to tell you something, and you need to ask yourself what's going on right now in your life that would put dreams like that in your head each night. At a glance it sounds like you don't fully trust your husband's fidelity for whatever reason, and you feel completely powerless (no matter what you do in the dream it never gets his attention). Do you suspect him of cheating when you are awake? If not and this is really coming out of left field a referral to a pyschologist may be useful. Have you said anything about the dreams to your husband? Do anxiety disorders run in your family? Man I'm bored at work. Good luck.

Answer 3

Your dream reflects the insecurity, anger, and rejection aroused by your husband's behavior towards you concerning sex.
It is a common occurrence to have emotional energy reflected in dream symbology.
You have not resolved your feelings over your husband's actions, and maybe deep down you don't believe him when he says his religion constrains him from having sex with his wife. Your dream reflects this in your screaming at him and biting him, and in the dream he doesn't hear you so maybe this is the way you feel when you try speaking to him about sex in real life. You have felt undesirable, so you think your husband is going to leave.

To stop the dream, maybe you need to get affirmation from your husband that he finds you attractive, that he still loves you and wants to be with you. Another possible way to stop it might be to have an affair? You're stressing because you feel powerless, this is making you have nightmares, and having an affair not only puts you in the position of having choices, it'll give you validation of your attractiveness and desirability while also making a point about how important this issue is to you. Plus, you get laid!
There are pros and cons to both options, and I'm sure there is alot of other options I am over-looking, like marriage counseling.

Answer 4

A sign of insecurity.

It is not necessarily unwarrented. Perhaps your sub concious (sorry spelling) is picking up subtle changes in his behavior. Evaluate your over all relationship and have you been insecure in other relationships. Also be honest with yourself and consider it is some sort of repressed fantasy. Seems a little unlikey.

To sleep better;

Try a light late night work out. With an hour cool down before you sleep.

Talk positivly to yourself. "If he leaves, I'm hot and will find someone else" Insecurity is very unattractive.

Don't dwell on the dreams while awake. It reinforces it. Pick another though an up coming project or hobby 'what crafts will I make for Christmas this year..." and shift your thought to this as soon you catch yourself.

Answer 5

I havent had a dream like that, but i do believe that you have an issue with your husband. Does he talk about hot hot other girls are a lot? And does it seem like he looks at other girls more than you? That could be your thought process that influences your dreams. Or maybe it could be that subconciously you dont want to be with him, and rather see him happy with another female. I know that sounds really harsh, but it could very well be the truth your looking for. make sure that you committed to something you really want out of life, re-evaluate your marriage, and focus on whether you and he should continue sleeping with each other if you really are picturing him sleeping with another female in your recurring dreams. just a thought...

Answer 6

You should talk to both your husband and a qualified mental health professional. There's some insecurity on your own part that is giving you these 'panicky' sort of dreams. Do not blame him for not "Hearing" or "reacting" to you in these dreams as he is not *really* there. Look into some relaxation therapy before bed, be it some calming music, a self hypnosis tape or whatever works for you.

Good Luck and I hope you find some relaxation techniques that will help lower your anxiety levels.

Answer 7

Yes.. I had a dream earlier than wherein I had deja vu approximately the equal dream. In the dream I out of the blue felt like I had dreamed it earlier than after which I grew to be mindful I used to be dreaming which used to be much more insane! I nonetheless went by way of the dream however I knew the whole thing that used to be going to occur earlier than it did on account that I might recollect dreaming it earlier than.. then I suggestion I awoke however I wasn't conscious fairly I used to be nonetheless dozing, I simply stopped being mindful.. and I dreamed that I used to be considering my dream deja vu, and desires inside desires and what I might do while I awoke.. then I fairly awoke and I used to be careworn... lol

Answer 8

No, I have never had a similar dream. But I'll bet my ex-gf did.

It sounds like jealousy and insecurity are haunting you. Maybe your husband is cheating on you. Maybe you suspect it constantly and it's on your mind a lot because of something that happened, or something he said, or something you saw.

This is usually the kind of dream that blooms into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Especially if you allow yourself to worry about it, and let it fuel your paranoia.

Answer 9

That doesn't seem like a dream with a hidden meaning. Maybe you have some fears of losing your husband or some kind of obsession of him cheating on you

If it is so bad you better go see a phychologist, it could be stress or the start of a depressive condition. Do something!

Answer 10

It sounds like you have a fear of your husband having sex with someone or leaving for someone else. It sounds like you need to have a heart to heart talk with him and let him know how you are feeling. I would think that sound resolve having that dream almost every night.