My fiance has lied to me on and off about looking at internet pornography during the past few years. It is only after I find proof that he admits it, but says he feels relieved I found out. We even installed a filter on his computer, but he managed to find websites that were still inappropriate. I know that probably many guys lie to their girlfriends about this issue, but I feel if he lies to me about this, what else is he lying to me about?
I also found out he lied to me about staying out all night with a girl he went to high school with, although later I got him to tell me the whole story and it was completely innocent. Does this sound serious enough to call off our wedding?
2006-07-24 05:27:06 · 25 answers · asked by PB 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i guess it depends on how much he is addicted to it. does it affect anything else in his life? is he late for work, is he not getting any sleep, is he not spending time with you? is he charging up the credit cards with porn? is he not having sex with you?
if he's doing it on his own time and it isn't affecting anything else try not to let it bother you. maybe you should try watching it with him...seriously. maybe you can make a deal where he can only watch it or look at it with you...just a suggestion.
A lot of guys look at porn...its normal. as far as the staying out all night...that is ur call. are you sure it was innocent?
2006-07-24 05:33:02 · answer #1 · answered by murfeezlaw 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
If you're having these types of insecurities now, it won't get any better after you say I DO. In my opinion, I would call off the wedding but continue dating a while longer. You two have some things to iron out. Also, if the incident with the girl he went to high school with was so innocent, why do you suppose he had to lie about it to begin with? Somethings not adding up here.
CALL IT OFF!
2006-07-24 12:34:08 · answer #2 · answered by oklahoma_whistle_britches 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may need to consider what you're looking for in a spouse. ..I'd bet most guys/gals will tell little white lies and or not always be forthcoming about things they've done or do. IF you don't trust him in being faithful, then yes, call it off. IF you don't trust him to be perfect, then YOU need the reality check and may need to reconsider being married to anyone, let alone this guy. Not defending your bf, but most guys probably do like to look at porn and other gals, but it doesn't mean they are cheaters and are having affairs. If this type of behavior is completely unacceptable to you, then you should call it off, as I doubt he's going to change his habits or you'll be able to believe him even if he does.
2006-07-24 12:32:51 · answer #3 · answered by dwitejones 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he still does that, in a relationship, and can't commit him self to you, then how will he be commitment as a husband ?
My understanding, that a guy should love you and not run off telling innocent stories... Girl listen, you only get married once to start a good family pick. the right guy, don't be afraid to loose him, you won't want to be running after him cheking what's he doing for the rest of your life. If you feel you two have problems before the wedding, then my advice get another guy,the one who's into you .not other girls, or other things..
2006-07-24 12:42:13 · answer #4 · answered by ha. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is it *necessary* to hide porn from you?
It is not the question if he is honourable - I think he would prefer being honest if he were not forced to lie to you about innocent things like porn...
As long as it is nothing against the law, there is nothing wrong with porn.
As for staying out with this girl - you said it yourself: It was innocent and still he thought he had to lie to you about it.
I think the problem is your attitude. Why, do you think, did he think that you would be angry about something completely innocent?
Maybe because you are exaggerating things?
Let him look at porn. Why shouldn't he?
The only problem is that you are forcing him to lie about innocent things.
2006-07-24 12:36:04 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he lies about those things, he is a liar. I couldn't trust anything that came out of his mouth. I would end it. And, maybe suggest he get some help for what sounds like an addiction. If he continued after you found out, then he may have a problem.
2006-07-24 12:31:25 · answer #6 · answered by jboatright57 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think either one of you should get married. He doesn't respect you enough to tell you the truth, regardless of innocence or not, and you don't respect him enough to treat him like an adult.
You both installed filters on HIS computer? Lady, 2 seconds after you left the room, they were disabled. He stayed out all night with a girl he went to high school with? He DEFINITELY banged her? If he hadn't, he wanted to, otherwise he would been at home with you.
You'd better talk to him, he doesn't want to get married to you, and you don't want to get married either, from the sounds of it.
2006-07-24 12:33:27 · answer #7 · answered by illustrat_ed_designs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are thinking about calling off your marriage because he's watchin gporn then maybe you shouldn't be getting married at all. You will face much bigger problems than this in a marriage. It gets hard at times and you just can't leave when something doesn't go your way. Personally, i hate hate porn and my husband respects that. He gave all of his away but if he'd kept them, It would not have made a difference because it's not like he's in the porno.
2006-07-24 12:31:56 · answer #8 · answered by Silly KeKe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
see looking at pornography is not an offense. Well the guy is of marriage age.
About spending a night with tht Gal can be a thing to considered. Did he actually do it or saved himself for you. When did this actually happened. If he did it (S**) recently with her tht night. Then you should reconsider it seriously. Breaking up a relationship is not my suggestion but i surely gives ur relationship a ? mark.
2006-07-24 12:33:22 · answer #9 · answered by CoolestnHotest 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no all men look at porn so start making an interest toward that and if he stayed out with a different woman all night and didn't do anything that should show that you can trust that he wont cheat so don't call off the wedding with something so stupid
2006-07-24 12:33:23 · answer #10 · answered by eazygangsta573 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋