I'm 18 and my 12 year old brother hits me what can I do?

Question

Im 18 and me and my 12 year old brother are always fighting although i try so much to be in peace he's always starting a new fight the last time we fought was when he grabed a metal stick and started hitting me like a pshycho i don't wanna hit him back because I know im 100x more stronger than him and i guess i'll kill him if i hit him back my mom also can do anything about it the last time she did he called the police on her and told the police she was abusing of him with a stick, my mom and dad are divorce and my dad doesn't wanna know nothing about it. What can me and my mom do with him.

Answer 1

Get him in therapy. Or try to contact local authorities and see if they have a child advocate that will show him the impact of being violent. (they'll probably take him on a jail walkthrough)

And if he wants to play the "calling authorities card" your mom could always tell him that if he doesn't clean up his act she's going to reliquinsh her rights and put his butt in foster care.

Answer 2

If it were a mama cat she would have swatted krabby kitten til he got the message who's boss. But our civil process does not allow for that. In the good old days, he would have been taken out to the woodshed and spanked. I think society has totally lost control and become too lenient. Your bro is going to turn into a bully. If he cannot control himself at home and respect boundaries, how will he out in society?

I remember biting my mom once when I was really little and I had no idea how much it hurt. My mom (surprisingly) bit me back! I was shocked and discovered it hurt. I never bit again.

On the other hand, my daughter bit me once so hard it almost went to the bone - extremely painful. I gave her a time out. She was a very challenging child to raise. She bit a few more times too and she was also aggressive toward her brother. My son, on the other had didn't have an aggressive bone in his body. It seems as if some kids will continuously push the envelope - and if it's not nipped in the bud in the early years it gets worse.

Note what's on TV and video games, and this stuff goes right to the little one's heads. It's not necessarily a causative factor, however, but perhaps can add fuel to the fire of those so predisposed. It's an epidemic everywhere. It's also fashionable (note TV shows), to use caustic wit on a regular basis.

The world wants to know how to solve violence - just look around you, watch the news and see what goes on out there. Summary: the older they get the more cunning they get and some actually like hurting others for pleasure. If families and courts can't stop young bullies, they won't stop the adult criminals either. States have spent millions counseling and imprisoning people with antisocial tendencies to no avail. My son had more common sense and empathy at the age of 4 than many adults you see in the news. Then there are genetics...well you get the picture...

If he uses the metal stick and someone gets hurt, loses an eye, gets a head injury or whatever ... then he'll have to answer for it and his victim will suffer the consequences. Point out that he's responsble for everything he does. I believe that starts when children are very young - way before the age of 12. He should have been taught the value of empathy for others when he was very young. Now his hormones are kicking in and really adding to the situation.

He could also have pent up rage bc there is no father in his life and he doesn't know how to express his pain (so he's taking it out on you). He needs to talk about his feeling about that with a professional counselor.

In the news the other day I read a man who was angry at his wife threw a carrot at her and it hit her in the eye. Now she's blind in that eye. Hmmm yeah, those were adults.

You're going to have to enlist the help of your mom, take away his privileges when he acts out and get some books/advice on how to manage his aggression. Social services may need to get involved. If he has medical insurance, most insurances pay a certain amount for mental health counseling, I'm sure this applies in this case-check that out with your mom.

Do not get aggressive with him, since you are an adult and you'll end up in court!!! If it gets to the point you need help, you call 911. Also put in writing what's going on and keep a written log somewhere that you tried to tell your mom to get him help. It's good that you care enough to wonder about a solution - thank you.

Answer 3

honey child, if you're 18 you're old enough to understand some things, so here goes. It's not your brother who has the problem, or you, it's that your mom isn't taking charge and being the mom. There are non-violent discipline techniques and your mom seriously needs help to implement them and take back control of her household. Tough Love is an excellent support organization for parents of kids like your brother. See if there's a local Tough Love group in your area, make the information available to your mom, and encourage her to go to the meetings.
Beyond that, there's not really a whole lot you can do other than stay out of your brother's reach. In most states, you're old enough to live on your own. Have you considered getting a job and moving out on your own? As the oldest, you have a responsibility to help teach your brother also. Don't hit back, that only teaches more violence. When your brother hits, or threatens to hit, say NO, and mean it, and MOVE out of the way. Call the police if you feel endangered. That's about the best I can give you, really, your best bet is starting to learn to take care of yourself and move out. You don't deserve to be hit, so don't put yourself in the path to be hit.

Answer 4

This is so sad. Try to sit down with him and talk to him about it, about your parent's divorce. (when he's NOT angry, upset or flippin out) I'm sure he's angry/upset and confused over the divorce and that's probably why he's doing this. Tell him what you wrote here, add that you love him and don't want to hit him back because you could hurt him. Tell him he hurts you physically and emotionaly when he acts like this. See if you can get him to open up about what is really bothering him. If this doesn't work after a few conversations, and your mom can't get him to stop, he needs anger managment/therapy. It's only going to get worse. He is crying for help, understanding and love.

I hope this helps, and you are able to get through to him.

Peace

Answer 5

If you have a guy friend (big), get him to have a man to man talk with him. Make it just the two of them and have your friend tell him that if he ever touches you again-he's gonna have his first man to man fight and he ain't gonna like his odds. Make sure your friend is under 18. He should do it in a way that he gives your brother "advise" but never really threatens him. And if you have good communication with your dad I'd tell him to have a nice talk with his son--your dad needs to step up and be a man to his son-because it's his lack of participation in his life that's causing your brother to act out and be a bully. He's screaming for male attention and direction and if your dad is turning his back to the problem of you being abused than honey I hate to say it but your Dad SUCKS! Also if you can video your brother being a brat and your mom does involve the police-it will help them help your brother---good luck dear!

Answer 6

Your mother needs to get him into counseling...I don't care what it takes...It is NOT OK for him to be hitting you with a metal stick. I don't know what she did about it when he called the police, but it you are there to back up her story, or she's there to back up yours, than the police will believe you, not him.

Your brother has some serious issues that need to be dealt with. In the meantime I would take a self-defense class and learn ways to immobilize him, but not hurt him.
GET HIM HELP, he obviously needs it...contact social services or something...because he may seriously injure someone...and it may not be your mom or you.

Answer 7

Since you're 18, you're an adult and could get into legal trouble if you hit him. Call a Social Services Councelor and ask them what can be done. Maybe they can set him up with a psychiatrist. He needs help before he hurts someone.

Answer 8

Very complicated subject you're in here..... in case you hit him lower back, you would be perpetuating the cycle that he started, reaffirming to him that violence is the respond. nicely, it particularly is not, and clearly you recognize that, despite if the reason you're saying you will not hit him, is as a results of fact which you're greater suitable, and could kill him. yet, you won't be ready to stand via, and enable him proceed this habit, lower back telling him that it fairly is okay for him to hit people. What needs to be carried out here, is for you, besides as your mom, to sit down down with him, and clarify to him, that his strikes have reactions, and if he chooses to hit you, or your mom, there'll be serious effects. as quickly as that has been reported, you may desire to maintain on with by with the disciplinary strikes you reported you will possibly levy on him. you may limit him from utilising the television, or get admission to to the telephone, via grounding him, or despite he's particularly into, as a results of fact some stuff will possibly not worry him that lots. If he would not care on the subject of the telephone, don' limit him from it. Make it something he will particularly pass over, and he will think of two times approximately dropping the privilege of utilising it. clarify issues to him that way. That it fairly is a privilege to ge to do maximum issues. it fairly is sparkling that he looks like he has the ideal to do those issues. whilst he realizes those issues can (and could) be taken from him, it is going to start to hit domicile. It won't quit there, although. in simple terms as we scold unfavorable habit, you may desire to augment valuable ones, besides. As he does greater perfect, and greater perfect, enable him comprehend that, and be actual. he will substitute his music, yet wait and notice, good issues require a good sort of persistence. The advantages is a lot greater advantageous on the top of the line. good success, Stevo.

Answer 9

This kid is headed for big time trouble.......You should give him what he gives you only harder. I can tell you how I solved my problem with a bully when I was your brothers age.

My friend and I went to our school's Halloween party. This bully came up and started throwing acorns at us as hard as he could throw them. He had his pockets full of Acorns.

The back of our heads and back were getting pelted. We tried to get away from him by going into a movie (cartoons). He was waiting for us when we got out. He continued throwing them at us.

I told my friend "Lets go home" As we walked away he followed us still hurting us. This kid was from a Jr. High School and much bigger than both of us. We were still in about the 6th grade.

I reached down and picked up a rock about as big as my hand.

The bully said that he was going to take it away from me. I guess that he thought that I was going to throw it at him.

As he tried to take it, I came around and hit him around his temple area. Blood went everywhere. We left him in the middle of the street.

Firemen from the Fire House came out and helped him. I saw him a couple of weeks later on his bike with his head in bandages.

He never bothered me again, although we saw each other the next year in Jr. High.

Looking back now, he could have been killed.....if I had hit him in his temple. Kids do crazy things...My suggestion to you is just beat the crap out of him and get it over with.

Answer 10

Hit him back and make it hurt. Put him in the hospital. But just make sure he'll be able to recover. Don't take that crap from him.

People are animals and animals need to be conditioned. Physical pain is the only way to ensure that bad behavior will not be repeated. You need him to learn that anytime he hits you, it's going to hurt him.