Is it time to end this friendship? Did I outgrown this friendship?

Question

I have this friend, we have been friends for about 15 months. At the beginning of this friendship I liked her and thought she would be a good friend for me. Then last summer, she suprised me and it seems she has some issues. I did not seem to mind it at first I thought perhaps I can be a good influence or a mentor for her even though she is seven years older than me. I'm 21 and she is 28. As the year flew by, I realized no matter the influence, I have on her she is not going to chance. To this very day, she still makes bad decisions and has poor judgment. I also came to realize she is not adding good things into my life. She is not adding the stuff that you get when you have a friendship. She is very self involved and it is all about her in the friendship. What movie she wants to see, where she wants to eat out, etc. I never or rarely have a say in these manners. I mean we have fun together when we hang out. That is it. I do not think we have much in common anymore.

My grandmother also feels that she is not adding anything good into my life. Did I outgrown this friendship? Is it time to end this friendship?

Also, an other problem, how to I end the friendship. I know I have to say something in person. But, what do I say any suggestions or thoughts?

Answer 1

Like you grandma said she doesn't add anything good to your life then it's time to let go. You don't have to malice her as someone said earlier just wean her off slowly. You don't even have to call her and confront her, only if she calls you and wants to find out what's going on........then you tell her, "you know I think that friendship was for that time. I have moved on because i'm at a different place in my life now" etc. ( and if you feel to elaborate more) but do it in a way that she doesn't feel bad about herself and if you bump into her you'll still be able to say hello, no grudges. aight. good luck!

Answer 2

I think the best thing for you to do is to end the friendship. There's nothing there between the two of you, and to me, she's a bad influene for you, because she makes bad decisions and has poor judgement. I had to end a friendship with my ex best friend six years ago, because she doesn't have any respect for herself, she has no morals and integrity. Besides, she's more a follower than a leader. She never accepted me for who I was, so I felt I've wasted my time being her best friend. Its best that you both go your separate ways.

Answer 3

Unfortunately, based upon your comments, the answer appears to be "Yes." It is time to end this friendship. If you're not getting what you want and need out of this relationship, then there is no valid reason to stay in it.

Answer 4

I think so. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, and you should surround yourself with people who add to your life, not be a babysitter. Just distance yourself and she'll find another person to babysit her. That's what she's doing. Good luck, I think you're going to be a successful person in life.

Answer 5

i think that you should tell her how you feel if you still like her as a friennd then maybe you can work things out . people change but that doesn't mean that they wont change back for the people they really care about. this decision is for you to thik about not the people you dont know. if you care about your life then leave her but if you care about your friend then you will do the right thing. i trust you to do the right thing

Answer 6

Just start weaning yourself from her. Stop answering her calls. Stop going places with her. And if she corners you, be truthful with her. Simply tell her that you think she is a selfish, self centered and dysfunctional and that you two have NOTHING in common. That should do the trick!

Answer 7

It's all about whether you like yourself when you are around this person. It doesn't sound like you do and you've admitted she adds nothing to your life. Do you really need someone else to answer this question?