What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. True or False?

Question

Sure, sometimes going through a crisis makes you tougher and makes you appreciate the little things in your life. At the same time, catastrophes like the death of a child can completely destroy an individual for the rest of his/her life. Which negative experiences are beneficial? Where do we draw a line?

Answer 1

There are "normal" life tragedies which most of us are, by and large, equipped to handle. For example, we usually survive the death of our parents.

But humans come in too many flavors and levels of sensitivity. In that sense there is no "we" that gets tougher or smooshed by a horrible experience. Our ability tor grow or collapse is tailored individually.

After the first particularly brutal encounter with the enemy I remember seeing some of my men sitting on the ground with a look that implied trauma, or some deep turmoil. Others actually opened their rations and calmly had lunch. There's no way of knowing which ones were transformed, or how, by those horrors, but I'm sure it was not uniform, or positive.

The same applies to the example you mention. When my young cousin died, his mother simply lost all motivation and no amount of professional help or time helped. But the father (my uncle) got past it.

In short. Forget those easy formulas.

Answer 2

As a young child we grow and watch the world around us in awe. We are told not to do things for they will hurt us like, don't run with a knife, or sissors, don't play on the freeway, don't put your hand in the fire. There are some of us who listen and don't go near the fire, others who hear the words, see the expressions on our parents faces, and stick our hands in anyway, and others who just decided to move a little closer and closer to the heat one day deciding that it's too hot, or what the hell, lets see what happens.
So, which one type do you think gets hurt the worst, or which type do you think learns the most?
Life is like this, and if you really read and understand the cliche', "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" it answers itself.
Your post defines "negative experiences" and as a parent, I can not imagine losing one of my kids, and yes that would affect me for the rest of my then, very short life. But what is negative, really? Is it the value of what happened or the value of what comes after "it" is over?
When such a tragedy occurs, how we handle it is like the three types mentioned above. For some, they will just jump right in, caution to the wind, and suffer as a result. Some will tire of the suffering and learn the patience needed for the clouds to part letting in the sun. The lesson and the "strength" that follow are not always recognized, but are always there if we just allow them to surface. Sometimes our natural human impatience refuses and then we feel weak, as if the world has thrown us into space, drifting farther and farther away from those things that connect us.
Life cannot be balanced by "a line", it is what it is, and what each of us makes of it. Every thing in nature is beneficial, the problem is that we choose not to see... to hear... to feel... Just like the type who just put's their hand in the fire, refusing to hear the parents words, refusing to see the expressions, refusing to feel the heat until it's too late. So, again which type do you think learns the most, is weaker, or which one dies?
To me the worst "negative" in the world would be to hear one of my kids has died. Could I ever see the clouds part offering me a glimpse of the sun again? Sitting here today, I highly doubt it. But then again it hasn't happened. Does that mean I haven't learned from it, or that I am not stronger as a result of "learning", just because 'I didn't stick my hand in the fire"?
Where is the negative...

Answer 3

This qoute is from Nietzche. And if you look at the person this was coming from it sometimes helps in understanding its context. Nietzche as a child was very sickly, his father died when he was just a boy. He attended a notoriously strict acedemy. He enlisted in the Proussian war, but was seriously injured in a horse-riding accident which affected him the rest of his life. He spent a great deal of his life traveling searching for companionship, he never married and the only woman he ever loved, ended up leaving him for his good friend. This man suffered a great deal physical and emotional suffering. So, after all this torment, why is it that he could come up with such an idea. It's simple. We are human. This was a man that needed hope. We all need it.

Answer 4

life is life...people try and attach values to life experience, but regardless, it's still life. It's an existential question...Sometimes people commit suicide when tragedy occurs. Sometimes people create support groups to help others when tragedy occurs. What type of person are you? Personally, I try to persevere...but it doesn't change the tragedy, or make it better. I guess it's like "life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it." I've also found that with tragedy, you go through all stages of grief, and will do so for the rest of your life. Sometimes you can take it, and be strength for someone else, other times you are breaking stuff and screaming. Either way, you are living, probably much more than the person without tragedy. So, I agree

Answer 5

Any negative experience can make you stronger. Whatever the worst thing is that you think could happen to you- could realistically happen in this world. It is not up to anyone to "draw the line" because everything is not in your mortal control. Make no mistake- good and evil are in constant conflict on this earth. When we have strong faith, we can battle the evil, forgive our enemies, and go on to meet the next day with strength, even joy. We can give other people the benefit of our experience, we can give comfort and hope to someone else who has been knocked down- this is the focus- not the negative. It is part of life, and part of our purpose.

Answer 6

I think, in a way, all tragic experiences can help build stronger character. Though some experiences may be very catastrophic and may seem to break character at the time, life goes on. And even though it may be extremely hard to move on, at some point, one learns to move on, and with that has gained a new strength. All negative and unfortunate instances can make you stronger, but it may not seem so at the time.

Answer 7

It always depends on the person. Two people can go through the same exact situation and it will affect them completely different. The same thing that makes one stronger can devastate the other, so it is totally an individual thing.

Answer 8

Definitely what doesn't kill you make you stronger. If you go through something as devastating as the death of your child, there is a lesson that God wants you to learn through that, whether it is using your struggle to help others, or giving your time and effort to a cause. You have to look at the lessons in every rainstorm.

Answer 9

Any and all catastrophes can be negative or positive. It is all in what that person decides to make out of it. They can better themselves, make themselves, strong and become a better person because of it

OR

They can wallow in pity, become depressed to a point that is no longer healthy and see nothing but bad things and God's neglect....

But from the outside - it is always best to be as supportive as you can be. Be the best friend you know how!

Answer 10

Your life is what you make of it. Grief and is an important part of the mourning process, in the case of a loss, but with time, you get over it and you move on more positively with your life. All the crisis we go through make us stronger if we allow them to.