Since some of you breatfeeders claim you love your babies more than a bottle feeding parent....I have a query?

Question

Then, how does adoptive parents adopt children into their homes and love them as their own? Raise them with love and care and bond with them? We have been over the oxytocin thing a billion times and honestly, It's just a hormone. ALL mothers experience it after birth. Can you please provide credible links that we are incapable of deep bonds with our children and love for them? I am DYING to see this with my pown two eyes from a CREDIBLE study, not just some LLL propaganda. This I will ignore and discredit immediately, so waste not your time. My friend was unable to have babies, and she adopted a little Cambodian girl, and since the girl was on NAN formula, that's what she ordered by the case and fed her until she was one. They are as bonded and loving as any mother and daughter can be...maybe more so, since Adela was so wanted by my friend cause she couldn't have her own babies. It seems some of you just want to feel superior. I have nothing against any of you. Can you just prove this?

Brevejunkie> My baby has a father. He shares in baby care duties. I can get on the net if I want to. My baby does sleep too, she takes naps. That's MY time. You are no one to tell me how i do what i do. Just skip over my questions if they bother you ao much. It's too easy. I just want to know how one (good) mother is better than any other based solely on feeding preference. You SEEM to be haveing some psychotic issues yourself. Maybe you need to see a Psychiatric doc to get something to calm your silly a$$ down. You belittle everyone in almost every answer you post. THAT is getting old.

Answer 1

I don't think there are any studies that prove this "credibly", but as of loving children I think love is all the same. Sure breast fed babies might be smarter, but I have seen many bottle fed babies that are way smarter than breast fed.

As of adoption, I think that one day I might have to adopt if my girlfriend and I get married because she doesn't want to "have" a baby, but she does want to have a baby. I want to be a good father, even if it comes to having to adopt. I believe that anyone can love someone. Love is all the same, there are no favorites. Even though my neaces(sp) and nephews arn't my children, I treat them as if they are my own no matter what. So no one can tell us that we don't love our children that are bottle fed or adopted, as much as they do.

Answer 2

I am so totally with you on this. The thing that got me started on here was not the people arguing over breastfeeding or bottle feeding. I say If you want to breastfeed, fine. If you don't, fine. It's a personal choice. It was a certain person, whom we both know, that says all formula fed babies are stupid (even though she admitted that her mother didn't breastfeed her) and that mothers that bottle feed love their children less. And like I told her, she is not gonna sit around and call my child stupid. It just ain't gonna happen. And I also agree with a statement that "kids and cats" left on this post-Love does not come from the breast, it comes from the heart and soul of the parent. I think that is the best answer I have heard. As far as breastfed babies being healthier, nope, not always. My baby is 11 months old and has never even had a runny nose. The only time he's ever been to the doctor has been for his immunizations. My best friend's baby has been in and out of the hospital for most of it's life and she has always breastfed. So from personal experience I know that breastfed babies are not always healthier. I just think people should leave it alone. And as far as the Klonopin goes, I can't believe anybody would even try to mess with you on that. I mean, come on. I think the doctors know more about that than just everyday people that answer questions on yahoo.

Answer 3

breastfed or bottle . . it doesn't matter . . the only difference about breastfeeding is the personal contact between a mother and a child . . woman that cannot breastfeed for various reasons can still experience this feeling . . there is a feeding system that hospitals use . . I am not sure what it is called but as the baby sucks the nipple, there is a line that goes into the baby's mouth also (like a straw) that gives the baby formula . . .all three of my children received the breast and bottle but that doesn't make my children more bonded to me than someone elses ...... sounds like you have an issue here beyond of breastfeeding . . . sounds like you want to be superior here by your statements . . give it a rest

just by looking at all your past questions, you seriously have a serious issue with breastfeeding . . . seek professional help

Answer 4

I don't recall seeing any breast feeding mothers putting down mothers who bottle feed. Some mothers can't breast feed and I see no problem with that since I happen to be one. I breast fed my daughter until 1 month but I wasn't producing enough milk for her and she was constantly hungry so the doctor suggested that I feed her formula. I didn't want my baby to starve so I did what I was supposed to just like any mother would. They don't say that only BREASTFEEDING bonds a baby and his mom. Any kind of feeding does. Sitting there rocking and looking into your baby's eyes while they're eating...that IS bonding. No one can prove anything because it's an opinion. I wouldn't take things to heart next time.

Answer 5

I can't provide any studies on this (if they even exist) but I do know I bottle fed my oldest and breastfed my youngest for about a month. I can honestly tell you I am bonded with both of my children equally. My son was born 3 months premature and had to stay in the hospital. I had little time to hold him and nurture him the way a mother should. I guess you could say I breastfed him but in a way I didn't bond with him that way. I bonded with him by being with him everyday and loving him. Just because I breastfed my son doesn't mean I am less bonded with my daughter. They say breastfed babies are healthier but I've never heard of being bonded to the mother more. It's just one way a mother can bond with the baby. (Not the only way!)

Answer 6

Honestly, I'm getting sick and tired of reading your questions on here, but I feel compelled to answer this one last time.

You really should stop fretting and stewing over this problem and concentrate your time and energy on your BABY. Where is she as you type all these questions, and the responses to people who answer them? Alone? Screaming in her crib? Lying out on her play mat, wailing for you to come pick her up? Whining hungrily in her playpen? Maybe you don't need an anti-seizure drug...maybe you need an anti-psychotic. I have NEVER in my life seen anyone so focused on one completely innocent statement that someone made about anything. Did you even take the original statement(s) the right way? Maybe whoever said breastfeeding is best blah blah blah meant it innocently enough, but you took it the wrong way.

It's been my experience (on this site, as well as in "real life") that breastfeeding women (a lot, but not all) are like born again Christians...they think what they do is the only way...the right way...and try to impress upon you how you need to do things this way because it's the way God intended blah blah blah. Take what they say with a grain of salt, move on, and go take care of your baby and stop wasting your energy on something so ridiculous!

Answer 7

I breast fed all 5 of my children and that was a personal choice. Do I love my children more than any other parent, no, that's ridiculous.

I have never seen or heard of any argument of which you are debating. Perhaps you have misunderstood some of the comments made by breastfeeding mothers in regards to the closeness, time spent and actual facts associated with breast vs. bottle.

Answer 8

I am a Mother/Infant nurse in a large (over 5000 births/year) hospital and I help moms learn to breastfeed every day. And, I, too, agree with you (though not SO vehemently). I have seen dozens of women trying to breastfeed because their mother-in-law, sister, husband told them they should, not because they want to.
I breastfed, and I loved it, but I also recognize there are a myriad of reasons women don't want to do it. I have talked to them, only to find that "bonding" thing hanging over them. These women think that their relationship with their child will be damaged if they don't breastfeed.
Breast milk does have lots of benefits, but I don't think those benefits over-ride the effects of the stress of doing something they don't want to do (for whatever reason.)
Breastfeeding is great, but I agree that society is browbeating women into doing it. Love does not come from the breast - it comes from the heart and soul of the parent (and grandparent, aunt, friend).

Answer 9

breastfeeding is a way 2 show affetion 2wards u child. if u cant even breastfeed ur child then u r not a good mother. even many animals grow up without feeding milk of their mothers, so wats d difference b/w us and them. as u mentioned abt adopted parents, exceptional cases r always there. moreover an orphage and parents r bound 2 love each other more just bcoz of what god has done with them

Answer 10

Here is a link for you http://www.drpaul.com/ it also has some information on how adoptive mothers can breastfeed. I will always advocate safe and natural living, breastfeeding is a part of that. I do not feel superior to bottle feeding moms.