my friend and i have been sleeping together for the past year and a half. i have strong feelings for him. one day i sat down with him and asked him if we could become more that just butt buddies. he said that he just wanted to focus on school and he wasn't ready to settle down. he said that girls would be there after he graduated from college. I felt so bad cause he couldn't see that I really wanted to be with him. So I told myself that i need to get over him. He kept texting me, i guess cause he wanted to hook up again. I told him to leave me the **** alone. It was so hard. But i don't know how to get over what we had. he was a good friend and we did share some good times. What do i do?
2006-07-24 04:14:00 · 7 answers · asked by bluebliss2184 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You have encountered the essential problem of "friendship with benefits:" the benefits are never really free. Bonds of affection and closeness form when people are intimate. And, pretending that the relationship "has no strings" and is without attachment inevitably leads to someone getting hurt. Right now, that person appears to be you.
Tell your friend how you really feel. Ask him if he cares and if he'd like to have a real relationship rather than just playing at one. He has had his fun, and if fun is all he wants, then you should be glad to dump him. If he can't give you the relationship you want, then give yourself time to grieve...and give love another chance with someone else. Just make clear to yourself and to your partner what you want and need out of a relationship.
2006-07-24 04:29:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is a shame for those people who receive love and tramp all over it!
For you two it is just a matter of feelings that did not coincide. You wanted something and he wanted something else! You have to admit that you can't expect people to always have the same feelings for you that you have for them.
I think it would probably be better for you not to see him for a while, but you should not let your friendship go to waste if he really was as good a friend as you say he was. You should probably not sleep together anymore, though! It's just sex to him, but to you it's more special than that and you'll just end up getting hurt. You should tell him that. A good friend always understands.
2006-07-24 04:25:11 · answer #2 · answered by Foxy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already did what you had to do...as difficult as it is..in order to find out where this type of relationship can go you needed to voice you opinion on it, back off and wait for him to make the next move, knowing what you want out of the relationship decide by his next move whether it will allow what you want to develop or not...good luck.
2006-07-24 04:19:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing by telling him to leave you alone. That is the only way you are going to get over him.
2006-07-24 04:32:59 · answer #4 · answered by Kenya 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
ok im sry but ur the ***hole that told him to **** off, so u should just try to feel better. if you said that only because he doesnt want to have sex with you then dear god what a poor shallow person you are. he stops giving u what you want so he can just **** off. mhm, thats a great way to treat people.
2006-07-24 04:23:45 · answer #5 · answered by waffleman 2 · 0⤊ 7⤋
MOVE ON. MAYBE SOMEDAY HE WILL COME BACK
2006-07-24 04:18:36 · answer #6 · answered by chevy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thanks everyone for answering
2016-08-23 02:36:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋