He says he has a hair fetish and that its harmless. It started with him just trimming my hair. I held back the tears when he cut my long hair into a crop with clippers and then I broke down when he shaved my head completely. I'm worried now because he said he wants to keep me this way. I feel so unfeminine with short hair and I think I look a fool. Wearing a wig when its warm is so uncomfiortable. I have two children nd no income so I'm afraid to leave him. Everyone thinks I am ill,Is this fetish normal? I feel so afraid
2006-07-24 03:56:14 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is not a fetish, this is a control issue! You need to get away from him asap! He is using the hair issue as a control technique to keep you from leaving him. Trust me, get yourself and your children away from this person!!!
2006-07-24 03:59:28 · answer #1 · answered by rockinout 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know that your hair will grow back and I think your Fiance did it becasue so guys will not look at U. I might be wrong, If my wife to cut her hair and I would but If I asked her if want shaved and if she said no then I respect that.
I can't believe he did that and want you look like that. I think that he did it because afraid that he will lose you. It should been better way than that. Not to worry let them know, you are not ill and my Fiance cut my hair shaved. Be honest with people and they will say my gosh Fiance stupid.
Just don't let it get to you and be glad it will grow again and I know it going to be a long long time to grow but think Postive. After you do have hair and you need to find job and then work and then when you do have income and then move out. If he gets mad at you for not shaved your head then tell him sorry this is my body and If you don't like it find someone else make sure before you do, make sure you have full custody of both children and Reason is that if you told him that he will divorce so you can prepare it right now make sure you take picture and show the lawyer and they will show the judge will look at it will know why.
You are beautiful from inside out. Don't let him control telling you what to do.
Hope this helps. smiling.
2006-07-24 04:46:30 · answer #2 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that he is using this fetish to claim you. Many people in some old fashion cultures require women to shave their heads after their husband's death because a woman without hair is not feminine or beautiful and therefore won't be looked by others and thus are forced to live a particular type of lifestyle... my point is I think he may be doing it so that you don't leave him...
If he has a fetish with hair, then why would he ask you to shave it off? Shouldn't it be the opposite...I mean let's say you love icecream, then wouldn't you get more icecream because you love, instead of none? I recommend you tell your husband that since he already has your locks that you will let you locks grow now and allow him only to continue trimming it one it is very long ( a specific length is a good idea, like when your hair is 1 foot long...he should be allowed to trim 6 inches, but that's it).
A fetish doesn't have to be so degrading...unless it's mutual.
Another thing is maybe you can make it a mutual thing...I mean tell him to grow out his hair and you grow out yours and you both cut each other's hair, once you remove majority of his hair ask him how he feel (I say shave him bald!) and see what happens...sometimes guys don't understand things when you say it to them so you have to show them and since many men are afraid of being bald...shaving his head so that it looks like he is bald in the middle and has the side hair is still growing may make him see how you feel ...
2006-07-24 04:09:36 · answer #3 · answered by Strawberry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you broke down completely when he shaved your head and yet he insists on you keeping it that way speaks volumes about the kind of person that he is - a cruel, dominating, insensitive brute of a man. Strong words maybe, but considering what he has put you through, not entirely unjustifiable. To me, this is no fetish, but just one of several ways of humiliating another human being - and that too his fiancee! I'm not sure why though. Perhaps he feels more 'secure' this way; perhaps he 'gets his kicks' from humiliating you; maybe he knows that you can't afford to leave him and thinks he can do and get away with whatever he likes - the bottom-line is that it is hard for me to see how a person can do such a thing to someone s/he loves. What is more worrying however, is that you fear leaving him because of your kids and not having any income. It is also apparent that you are afraid of directly confronting him about it otherwise you wouldn't have been writing in here. Share your problems with your close friends and see what they have to say. My suggestion is that if at this point you are already afraid and being subjected to such humiliation then it is hardly likely to get any better with time. So, leaving him may be the 'least worst' option as spending a lifetime with such a person is not worth it at all. Goodluck and I sincerely hope it works out ok for you.
2006-07-24 04:27:26 · answer #4 · answered by sherwin_da_koolest 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You wanna know why he cut your hair?So he can CONTROL you he did this because he thinks if your bald no other guy is gonna look at you or u wont cheat on him.He has issues with your relationship trust issues and probaly self conscience esspecially if you are a pretty girl.Why would you let him cut your hair in the first place.You need to talk with him and find out why.Im sorry but i dont know men that want there girlfriend to be bald he dosent have a hair fetish how when he shaved it off.If he had a hair fetish hed want it long and flowing.Dont listen to that BS let your hair grow out and never ever let him even touch it again.And you guys need to really have a nice long talk
2006-07-24 04:11:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you really love him sacrificing your hair for a secure home and love is not much to ask. Why don't you make it a fun thing for him?, Let is grow for a few months and then surprise him some night by having clippers and scissors sitting out and let him shave you by the fire. Wearing wigs can be fun as well, pick some nice ones and don't be afraid, indulge the one you love don't hold back from him. Remember its just hair, keep your man! This is perfectly normal... www.haircut.net
2006-07-24 04:02:48 · answer #6 · answered by monica x 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it's your hair and you should have it how you want. Your Fiance is really not a nice man and you need to get away. If he cared about you he would never do that to you. You shouldn't be afraid to leave him you can go to family or claim benefits until you get your feet on the ground. Be strong, you'll be happier in the long run.
2006-07-24 04:02:27 · answer #7 · answered by Angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you mean 'bottling up of emotion'? (here - Love). You may mean it literally, but metaphorically, bottling up of emotion(s), lead to an ocean of emotion forming within, with huge waves, longing to connect and you can't just let it out as per your own wish. It comes out like a volcanic eruption whenever it wants to. It's like a coiled spring - the more you thrust it and force yourself on it, the moment you leave it, the higher it will bounce back. So, never bottle up emotion(s). What eventually will come out will not be love, but only misery. Love chooses you, and you don't choose love. Love is like falling in it before even realising, so perhaps, one can never ever 'decide' when to be loved and when not be since 'decision making' ventures nowhere near it. Therefore, bottling it up would only show your insecurity - as if you want to own it and want it to behave the way you want to. Further, we all possess love inside which manifests itself when the time is right & ripe. And then connect with the other. It just flows.. so when you can't possibly cage or bottle the love you possess within yourself, it's never wise, to put someone's love inside a bottle and then tag it as 'my love'. It's no longer yours. It's yours when you give it wings and just let it fly.. high!
2016-03-16 04:22:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is anything but normal - he sounds like a controlling freak who doesn't want anyone else to look at you!
you do have choices - be brave and leave him. what if he started being violent to you or worse to the kids - would you still stay?
I feel so sorry for you and feel sure if you left you would find a way to manage - one day you will meet someone who loves you as you are.
good luck and remember you are worth more than this and I wish you lots of future happiness.
2006-07-24 05:54:09 · answer #9 · answered by snowymountains123 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is fuckin' crazy!! Sorry about the vocabulary, its not like me to get verbal like this but I would kick him in his nuts if he ever went near my hair. Why did you let him do that to you??? Have some pride and leave him, he is a control freak. But before you do, tell him you'd like to shave all his pubes off and dip his bits in vinegar!!! See if he likes that. Especially if you cut him accidentally-on-purpose and then let him have a dip!
2006-07-24 05:33:10 · answer #10 · answered by ribena 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he just wants you to feel bad about your self, so that he can feel good, because hes insecure and wants to be the best when he cant. because he knows that your beautifal and can get better then that, dont allow him to programme your mind to think that way.
you deserve so much more better then that head shaver, why put up with it? make a choice and stick with it, u dont need him he needs you more and do not forget that, he jelouse, insecure and messed in the head. he has no right to do that to a women.
and this is no type of love this is control, and jelousy, break away from him ASAP , but be clever and sly dont do it suddenly , men like that can be evil please be careful.
take care XXXX
2006-07-24 05:01:38 · answer #11 · answered by sweetlikehoney_73 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋