They have a 4 year old together, and this happened months ago but i feel like total crap for not telling her, they are having problems anyway and i feel like her and her son deserve better, what should i do?
2006-07-24 03:44:43 · 47 answers · asked by Alie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
oh yeah and they are my neighbors too! eek!
2006-07-24 03:47:17 · update #1
they are in marriage counselling
2006-07-24 03:47:55 · update #2
trust me she KNOWS i don't have the hots for her man, and yes i saw him with the other woman at his house when she was out of town and my bf can back me up on it!
2006-07-24 03:51:20 · update #3
I have a friend in the same situation. I know my friend's personality and know that her husband cheated on her in the past and she stayed. I didn't chose to tell this particular friend. I think that she would have continued to stay and it just would have strained our friendship. I typically think honesty is the best policy. As far as infidelities, I don't think it's "my truth" to tell if it involves someone else's relationship.
2006-07-24 03:48:27 · answer #1 · answered by julielove327 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Before you get involved, you must be sure of the following:
1. You have proof that the husband is having an affair.
2. You and your neighbor are pretty good friends and not just neighbors.
Then, when you are ready to tell her, first, ask her casually how is everything. For all you know, she is already aware that her husband is having an affair and is keeping her eyes closed. And maybe that's why she is not telling you about it for some reasons. Not many people like to admit that their marriage is on the rocks. If she mentions it to you, then don't say anything more. Let her handle her own problem but be there for her.
2006-07-24 04:16:47 · answer #2 · answered by butterfly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There you go your boyfriend will back you up and you have witness and tell her what you saw and also her boyfriend and tell her because you're her great friend and you think her and son deserve better, If you willing to help her live with you until everything work out or help her get husband out of the house and she will need alot help from you.
If you willing to do that then great. If not just telling her and not going to help her anymore.. It better if you tell her and help her all the way to the end. because, you are a true friend won't do that.
She might not believe you tell her this. Ok you go on vacation tell your husband and leave and you come back to my house and watch what your husband bring home a woman to this house. and if that proof then Bam he busted!!!! That only way she gonna have to see for herself. If not happen then you need to show video tape when ever happen you saw take the video and tape it and then proof to her.
That only way you can do right now. I think I would do the same thing for her my next door.
2006-07-24 04:53:15 · answer #3 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her. She probably suspects it anyway. You telling her won't affect the marriage if you add that you hope they work it out for the sake of the kid. She will be a bit enbarasssed but also tell her a story about something that your boyfriend did that is hurtful. I know a couple who should get an divorce because he verbally abuses her. That is worse than an affair, believe me. Tell her and hope that they work it out. At least she will know all of the cards. More people are in marriages in which there was an affair than you will ever know because they chose the marriage over that point in time. Now if he does it again, don't bother telling. She definitely knows.
2006-07-24 04:05:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this truly is your friend you need to tell her. It will be up to her and her husband how they deal with it, if they are in counseling and still having problems alot of it could stem from his guilt and her not knowing. There is nothing worse than being cheated on and being the only one who doesnt know. She deserves the truth, and if her husband isnt willing to be honest with her then you should be. Just make sure you have your facts straight and be blunt. There is no easy way to tell her, you just need to do it.Good Luck.
2006-07-24 03:55:00 · answer #5 · answered by Tamie C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing! Marriage is just one of those things that the couple should take care of themselves. It is never advisable to come between husband and wife because you never know when they're gonna get back together (it has happenned before) and guess who they're going to blame for having problems in the first place?
If you really want to do something, you should probably confront the husband with what you know, but first, make sure your information is correct.
2006-07-24 03:52:46 · answer #6 · answered by Foxy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends.. Would your friend believe you? Or would she think you are being hateful? It's a tough decision to make. Put yourself in your friends shoes and decide what you should do.
I would want to know if it was me. But if I thought that my friend would react badly towards me, I would try to find a better way of breaking the news.
Do you know for a fact that he cheated? Not by rumor? Did you see him with the other woman? Do you have a way of proving what you say is true, if your friend gets angry?
Very tough choice. I guess it depends on what kind of relationship you have with your friend.
2006-07-24 03:49:46 · answer #7 · answered by Mary J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I was in your situation ones, my friend had a difficult time with his husband, always new that it was another women but she never thought that it was our friend, so I had my suspicious so I confirmed and I ask her to sit down and I told her that what I was about to tell her it was not ease for me but i will like to do the same if she new anything about my husband so as soon she got the message, then I confirmed it what I saw and what I hear.
2006-07-24 03:59:51 · answer #8 · answered by scorpygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Frankly, its not your problem, its theirs. You maybe telling her something
that she already knows, you may be mis-understanding what you are seeing,
etc.
However, being the good friend that you are, you should tell the husband
that if he doesn't tell the wife what you saw/heard, you will.
If he denies it or says that he isn't going to tell her, then yes, you should
sit her down and tell her what you heard and saw. Try not to make any
conclusions or judgements. Is it possible he was kissing his sister?
Depending on WHAT you heard or saw, you should may want to make sure
that there is nobody else in the room, she is sitting down and has plenty
of vodka in the house.
If you can, don't tell her with anybody else around.
2006-07-24 03:50:44 · answer #9 · answered by Elana 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must be absolutely sure this "friend" will want to know! Look, their in marriage counseling so she already knows and just doesent want let go! I'd let her know that the only reason your saying this is because you wouldn't consider yourself a friend if you didn't,.....plus you'd expect the same if the situation was reverse.
2006-07-24 03:56:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋