I've known this guy for 6 years now n he's a friend of mine, our friends have always made jokes about us that we should hook up together n i always took it as a joke n never looked interested. Last week we went to the movies and afterwards he told me that he's always loved me for the last 6 years, he said that he really can't live without me and that he tried to tell me but he's always been afraid of rejection. I told him that i have no feelings for him and that i only like him as a friend. He said that he tried to meet girls but he's so in love with me that he's not interested to meet anyone new. He said that he's ready to wait for me even if it takes me 20 years to love him. Everyone around me tells me that he's a good guy and that he's a catch, as for me i find him a bit boring, i feel no "Fire works" whatsoever. My friends say that love might come gently... What do you think?
2006-07-24 03:36:34 · 24 answers · asked by Alien (Tribute to Sting!) 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
love might come gentily, but thats no reson to keep him waiting, dont even think about going away from him! he'll get mad, so i suggest u give it a shot, try, if you dont feel good about it still, then tell him "i tried, but i dont feel the "bf" thing with u, i m sorry" atleast that way he wont feel unhappy, he'll say "she tried but hey its me", and he wont blame you for breaking his heart, + he may like you as a good friend forever... it works trust me.
PEACE.
2006-07-24 03:45:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
I have had the same situation with a high school friend and you need to be honest with him as well as yourself. If you do not feel "fireworks" then you should not ever consider dating this guy. It is almost impossible for you to "develop" these feeling over time. You either have them or you don't and it is obvious that you don't. He sounds like the type of guy that will not take no for an answer so you need to be even more blunt with him. Don't be rude, but you may need to be very firm and unyielding. Stand your ground and constantly keep assuring him that you do not want to ruin the friendship and that it could never work. Eventually (as in my case) the guy will eventually move on and you will be surprised at how quickly they can get over you! In the meantime, live your life and don't let his crush on you affect you too much...consider that it is flattering if nothing else.
2006-07-24 03:42:48 · answer #2 · answered by Tytania 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In life you will always break a few hearts, I'm crazy about my friend i have known for 4 years but i know for a fact she sees me as a close friend, confidant, brother etc since our families know each other so closely - If he has known you so long and really loves you he should respect your feelings and accept them - in life you will have to break a few hearts - tell him straight up that you have no feelings for him and if you haven't felt a spark in 6 years nothing is ever going to happen and he needs to move on - even help him hook up if you have to - but do not make yourself unhappy - ultimately you need to be selfish and decide who you love and the person you're with and spend your entire life with - why make it a chore? - He deserves better anyway and so do you - everything comes in pairs - a half hearted relationship is no good - he will find someone and so will you - time heals all wounds - he will never forget you and you will leave an imprint in his mind and heart but you cannot do anything to change that - and when he does find someone you will just be a memory - you must be cruel to be kind.
2006-07-24 03:42:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's kinda tricky because you have been friends for a long time that means you like his company. Maybe you should try if it would work but you have been friends for a long time and I think in a way you know what his personality is about. If you really feel that you can't love him the way he loves you can't do anything and no one can tell you that you might love him in time. Try to be friends with him and maybe when he really sees that there is no hope then he will move on.
2006-07-24 03:45:11 · answer #4 · answered by WickeD_AngeL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him the truth....gently. You don't love him or know that you will ever love him. But that you want to keep him as a good friend because you cherish that aspect of your relationship. (If that is what you want)
You have to admit, it took great courage for him to risk telling you this, so be sensitive to that. Don't lose a good friend over something like this. It's not that big of a deal unless you make it that way. I would think your relationship/friendship will only be better from this.
2006-07-24 03:43:52 · answer #5 · answered by BlueFire 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friends want both of you to be happy, but you can't be happy if you have to fake a relationship you don't feel. You did the right thing by being honest with him. It's hard to say no and still stay friends, I hope you'll be friends for many years.
Who knows, in ten years you may feel differently, he might too.
2006-07-24 03:43:47 · answer #6 · answered by Merris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately I don't have any "good" news. I would say if there is no attraction on your part, don't force it. After six years I ssume there never will be.
If he cannot accept this, you may have to stop even seeing each other as friends. You both lose, but I would be afraid that he would have problems being "just" your friend.
Good luck.
2006-07-24 03:40:53 · answer #7 · answered by American citizen and taxpayer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all i can say if after 6 years you don't feel anything for him and you find him a little boring don't go there if theirs no fireworks now then don't settle for what everyone else thinks is a good catch for you .you'll only have regrets and lose a beautiful friendship in the end
2006-07-24 03:43:29 · answer #8 · answered by julie b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
6 years is a long time for any friendship, so ask yourself is that worth risking for something that might not be right for you in the long run. If he loves you as much as he says he does then he would want you in his life even if its just as mates. talk to him and try and show what great girls are out there who will love him for just being him.
2006-07-24 03:47:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't waste his time. He deserves better. And you will never develop the right feelings for him. Cut him off and leave him be. No; he will never forget you, or stop loving you, but, you'll never care for him the way he does for you. So there's no point in torturing the man. His life will move on. And in a few years, you'll forget about him anyway.
2006-07-24 03:41:35 · answer #10 · answered by Quietman40 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel that if there is no sparks there then just stand your ground. You know how you feel and your friends dont. dont let them push you into anything that you dont want. If he realy cares for you then he will be glad to just have you as a friend. you have to be friends before you become lovers and then it is not something that you push off on someone. a onesided realationship is not the way to go. i say let him know that you care for him as a friend and that it is all you can offer him and that you hope that he understands. do what you feel in your heart
2006-07-24 03:44:15 · answer #11 · answered by patricia m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋