Cheating or not?

Question

I'm recently married (3 months). My wife and I have lived together for five years, just married 3 months ago. Last time we had sex was on the honeymoon. We've had a pretty rocky relationship over our lifetime together but we always managed to keep a semi-active sex life. We have NEVER gone this long without sex. We're both attractive people and she has voiced some concerns about our past that she just can't seem to overcome. I've heard women tend to throw things in your face when they are trying to justify something they may be doing wrong. Thing is, my wife is home every night, she's very active with our 4 year old daughter, but there is zero intimacy between the two of us. I generally have to iniate any physical contact and it doesn't go beyond a kiss. She says she misses me, loves me, but she generally just isn't happy with us. She won't go to counseling with me. She's mentioned going on her own as I am doing right now. Can women really go this long? Or is something up?

Answer 1

Yea they can go that long, anyone can. But that's not the point. You need to tell her that either she goes to counseling on her own, or yall are going together. Sex is a part of marriage. I'm sure had you got in a accident and your dick got cut off that she would still stay around but thats not the case. You still have one.... Use it. (but not to cheat!)

Answer 2

Women can surely go that long without having sex and not be cheating. However, you have added a number of things like, "rocky relationship", "4 year old daughter", "never gone that long without sex". So there can be a number of reasons for the lack of intimacy.

Without tocuhing her or attempting to kiss her, look for a time when things are nice and calm, and she is relaxed and start the discussion about her sexual needs without being judgemental. Listen and learn. Maybe she feels tired, unattractive for some reason (recent weight gain) or maybe she is on the pill (or other medication) that has dampen her sex drive. Don't always assume its another man.

Anyway, good luck.

Answer 3

I was married for 7 years in a relationship that sounds very similar to what you are going through now. My x-wife would not have sex with but once every 3 months and I was the one who had to beg for it. I'm not saying right out she is cheating on you physically but I think she might be mentally with someone else. If she refuses to go seek a consular with you then I can tell you something is seriously wrong with your relationship. My x wouldn't go with me either until I told her it was over then she was ready to go, by that time it was too late. I don't know how old you are but I would give her an ultimatum if she doesn't go to a consular with you then tell her that you are going to have to end things and see what she does from there. Good luck to u it sounds like you have a hard thing to deal with.

Answer 4

It's unfortunate that since you had a rocky relationship to begin with that you still went through with the marriage. Can women go that long without sex? Yes.....women tend to get in a rut sometimes and just aren't interested in sex. How old is she? I hit that in my late 20's, but now, since I've gotten into my 30's, it's the total opposite. My husband tells me I want it too much...lol.

Answer 5

Hey if it was not 3 months with a 4 yr old i would think you are my husband..lol

well i get tired from day to day with kids and stuff that might be her problem.. it is not easy taking care of a 4yr old and then wanna clime in bed. i would let her go on her own.. she might have issues that she does not want to be talking about in front of you.. i went to counseling without my husband already because i had stuff in my past that i needed help with that i did not want him knowing or want him sitting there while i am throwing out my deepest secrets that no one really knows.. i already went 4 months without it with my husband.. and we only been married a year..and neither one of us are cheating. between working the house and kids.. it all killed the sex life. so you keep going to counseling and let her go on her own.. Ur problems will be worked out soon and if you can not work them out then there is always that dreaded word.. divorce

Answer 6

Women could go FOREVER without sex. They could go without sex longer than they could chocolate.

Just let her go to counseling. Maybe going alone first will help her open up and allow her to see that you need to go together.

Good luck on the sex thing. Tie a knot in it or something, cuz it doesn't look like you are gettting any freak on in the near future.

GOOD LUCK!

Answer 7

Infidelity issues are the hardest to overcome in a relationship. If you suspect she's cheating, she's not going to admit it to you. And yes, women really can go that long without sex. Try talking to her again.

Answer 8

Yea they could definitely go that long. Get a chick on the side to supplement for your lack of sex! But dude, it's usually the guy that gets bored of having sex with his wife, what's the world coming to???

Answer 9

They can go for a long time but something is up. Women approach sex for intimacy and emotional bond, men just the opposite we want sex and get emotional bonding later. I would see what it is up emotionaly for her and try to reconnect.

Answer 10

She might just be caught up in working. I have that kind of relationship so when you piss us off we don't want any and especially if we don't think the relationship is worth it we don't want it. You guys need to work it out with counseling or split. That is the only solution.