DO you think its right that I've not contacted him?

Question

Its been over a week since my fiance decided he needed a "break" I.e. no contact- he did say to me that I was allowed to "email him"
I was very cross with him and didnt want to speak to him and havent still. So heres the deal this weekend he planned for us to meet somewhere in the middle, but he hasnt contact me- I dont think I should contact him because its his break and I have grown increasingly stronger over the last week.
Also if he wants to meet up i may ask him if its going to be bad news when we do- and if he says it will be then I wont meet up with him, and do us bother a favour and finish it- am I over compensating for what has happened- he did say he didnt want to split up but he needed a break- now I feel like im having second thoughts!
What do you all think?

Answer 1

He sounds confused , leave him space ,lots of it ,some people need to hide to make a decision in the meantime everything will be confusing answers. Perhaps he needs longer than a week.

But also if you feel he wants to end up the relationship and you decide not to meet him , don't you think you deserve a reason ?, would you like to live with the questioning ? I would like an explanation anyway then if you decide so you can move on with your life.
Good luck

Answer 2

Because he has asked for a break you should leave it up to him to decide when to meet next and make the first contact, he will when he is ready.
I wouldnt ask about whether it would be bad news i would meet up anyway and talk through things but just keep an open mind. The most important thing is either to try and resolve what led to the time apart in the first place. Im guessing that at one stage you were very much in love so its worth working at to get back to that stage. Try doing the things you used to enjoy doing to together and put a bit of a spark back in your relationship. He has tried to reassure you that he doesnt want to split and sometimes a break is good to re-asses things and make you realise how much someone means to you. You only truly appreciate something until is gone. You've done the right thing in not contacting him.

Answer 3

It's this simple, if he can go over a week with absolutely no contact with you he obviously doesn't love you anymore.

I've come to realise that when you love someone you miss them terribly when they're not around and do everything within your power to communicate with them weekly at the very least - unless they are obviously unreachable (in the Army etc).

Now what you do with this information is up to you. You could try to relight the fire but this guy sounds a bit immature to be honest, he hasn't even got the balls to admit that he's dumping you, instead he takes the cowards way out with the 'lets take a break line'. Unless there is an understandable reason for him getting scared and backing away (one of you has just discovered you have a terminal illness, are pregnant etc) then he's a prick and yes it's right that you haven't contacted him.

Good luck with this one, you sound like a strong woman who to be honest deserves better than this.

Answer 4

The first question you have to ask is to yourself. Do you want to continue with the relationship? If you do then I would give it one last shot and contact him and ask him if he wants to continue with the relationship. I would not contact him by email though as what right has he to say 'you are allowed' to contact me by email! What a control freak! If, as I suspect, he is taking the cowards way out of the relationship, then you have got your answer and you have got closure so that you can move forward and leave him to do the same. I think that you saying you are having second thoughts and that you are 'getting stronger' means that you don't really deep down want to continue with this relationship. Good luck.

Answer 5

Maybe he meant he wanted some "space", not actually a break up, since you said he did not want to split. Sometimes, we are overwhelmed by events. . ., people. . . things. . . and we need space to sort out things, put everything in its perspective. You owe it, to both of you, to meet for the last time?.. . You said you became stronger. . . then prove it. . .face up to whatever. . . Its best if you clear things up. . . and not dwell on the what ifs. . .Only then you can move on. Remember. .. you have shared beautiful moments together, loved? one another, treasure those and end it in good terms. Its better to split up before the marriage than after think about that. . .

Answer 6

He's being wishy-washy and probably having second thoughts about a lifelong commitment like marriage. You may need to think about if you want to wait around for someone who isn't 100% sure about you. Show you are stronger and more headstrong that him. Take the Disgruntled Biscuit course of action:

My ex-fiancee wanted a break. So I gave him one. I moved to Scotland from California. Naturally, we broke up and I got married to a much nicer guy and have a lovely son.

Make the first move and dump his sorry tooshie and find someone who isn't going to dick you around anymore. Don't waste your time anymore.

Answer 7

Your best bet is to just cut it off now. Do you really want to be with a guy that wants to take a "break" from you? You deserve to have a guy that will fight to be with you and not fight to get away. Also, what is this that he will "ALLOW you to email him!!!" No one allows you to do anything and that alone is a reason why you should run. You are a beautiful strong person who needs to be treated as such and hanging out with someone like this will only bring you down in the end.....Good luck!

Answer 8

Hell yes, it is all right! Don't email him. If he wants to contact you, he can. But don't bother trying to figure out what he wants or what he is doing. He wants to know that you are still on the hook, and he can reel you in whenever it is convenient for him. Move on! You need to find a MAN that will treat you with respect. Good Luck!

Answer 9

I would defiently communicate with him. That's not fair to you, to leave you hangin just waiting for anything. He might be having cold turkey but dont worry most people do get that before getting married/engaged. But he would like to meet with you, I'd ask him what your outcome looking like, but he might rather talk about whatever it is face to face. So if he asks you in reasonable time, then go ahead and talk to him. But if he makes you wait for months, I think he doesnt really know what he wants at that point. Good Luck :o)

Answer 10

A 'break' usually (to me) means they wanna go and have some fun maybe delve a little? ie. see other people. You say you have become stronger this suggests to me that something has not been right and you have realised this in your time apart. Keep getting stronger.
Good luck x