why do teens like to harm there own bodies?

Question

cant they treasure there own bodies! im disappointed with my daughter shes only 13 and she wants the middle of her nose pierced.. makes her look like a cow instead of my beautiful girl. is she trying to impress her school mates? No way i will allowe something like that. i mean shes got her ears pierced many times it looked bad enough already. i hope shes not doing it to defy me.

Answer 1

Due to Lack of Intelligence and wisdom.

Answer 2

I think they choose to do things like tattoos & piercings as a sign of independence - it's sort of a right of passage -- perhaps they think "this is my body, and i'll do to it what i want to." when i first read your highlighted question, i thought this was going to be about teenagers who cut themselves with razor blades. that is a whole other line of thinking, that seems to eminate from no/low self esteem, a desire to feel "alive" or feel something --- the things you describe is a fashion thing - and a desire to belong to a group. I know that it's undesirable and that you never envisioned your little princess with a pierced nose. (I've fought that battle with my kid as well.) But in the scheme of things Mom, I suggest you choose your battles. If your daughter is otherwise respectful, disciplined, and otherwise well adjusted & happy -- it's just a matter of aesthetics. Perhaps you could compromise -- tell her to get one of those magnetic nose rings - or, tell her, ok, you can have this done, but with these rules -- you, the Mom pick out the ring she can wear, & tell her under no circumstances can she wear that thing to Gramma's house. I added the idea too, that if I had a problem with her behavior, then it changes to a big gold ring, and I'm going to tie a ribbon to it and she will be on a leash. That's when she gave up the nose ring thing and now has her sites set on a belly button ring. Go figure! Kids need opportunities to learn from their mistakes. A hole in the nose will close up easily enough - it's not like a tattoo - if later on down the road she changes her mind. Good luck Mom, she's lucky to have a parent who loves her so much!

Answer 3

I was 'bout that age when I wanted to get a septum piercing as well (however, this was before septum's were popular... a nostril ring on an adult was shocking at this time). IMHO, shock value, rebellion, going 'against the grain' of society's norms, to be part of the in-crowd, all probable reasons. Most likely, though, is simply for attention. Find some home-based things she likes, and spend some time with her doing them.

To dissuade her from continuing this choice, take out some old family photos, perhaps one of your mother at her age, one of you at her age, and a recent one of her, and share them with her. Then, go buy a cheap pair of thick, but small, hoop earrings, and remove the hook (leaving just a ring). Take her on a visit to her grandmother's (and have your mother help you with this as well). Have her watch TV or something, and take the 'nose rings' and place them on yours and your mother's septums, and gently squeeze them so they'll stay put. Then you and your mother appear before your daughter. Mention how much you look like your mother, and how your daughter looks like you... meaning when she's x-many years old, that is what she will look like if she actually gets the piercing. Everyone may have a good laugh right then and there, but later on, it'll make her think, "Will I *really* look like that when I'm grandma's age?".

As to "harming their own bodies", as you say that, I pray you yourself do not have any piercings, tattoos, dyed hair (hair dye is potentially cancerous), botox injections (pig botulism), partake of cigarettes, drugs, alcohol, gluttony, or other forms of self-destruction. Hypocricy is a parent's worst enemy. "Do as I say, not as I do" lends justification to teenage rebellion. After all, what was considered beauty 100 years ago, is considered outdated 50 years ago... and what yours and my generation(s) consider beauty is not among some sub-cultures in this generation. Keep this in mind: though you may think a septum ring makes your daughter look like a cow, the very blush, eyeshadow, and lipstick you apply to your face every morning, your great-great-great grandmother would have called you a prostitute for. Times change, especially now where fads come and go in a matter of months or years, instead of decades or centuries. I do not say this to insult you, but as a reminder to understand what your daughter is going through mentally.

Take her mind off such piercings, and as the fad fades, or as she ages, so too will her interest.

Answer 4

lol my mum hates things like that too! She wont allow me to get my belly button pierced hehehehe! But I want to! However dont want to go behind her back and dissapoint her by getting it pierced without her conscent ( i'm 15), so I will never get it pierced :( Anyhoo to answer your question teens do it to look cool at school and to be more accepted by their class mates. So I wouldnt let her If I were you, as its not worth it. Being her self is the only conclussion. I only just this year got interested in all this big girl stuff (makeup, accecories etc), when I was 13 I was a big kid lol!

Answer 5

yeah! i really cant understand why my friends and the others are so obssessed by what they called body art... alot of percing and tattooos.. i really dont get the pont but what i remember is when i was young it also gets into my mind since i grew up watching tv.. and its something that celeb has.. but right now... thats a big no no for me... my reason before in wanting to have one is to become 'in' since i think it was really cool... maybe your child had the same idea of being cool to in having piercing... im not sure if you child will stop wanting.. since a friend of mine... starts in having anavel pierce.. now she had 3 piercing in each ears, one in her tongue and another one in her nose and a big tattoo on her back.. piercing is kinda light since it can be remove.. but ttatoo is something to stay forever.... just warn your child... tell her to respect her body...

Answer 6

Some do it for fun, others do it because of being bored, and would you rather have your kid with a lot of piercings or getting into trouble with the law? Take this from someone who has experience with getting into trouble wit the law, so I get piercings!!

Answer 7

Insecurity

Answer 8

I do not know too. Their body is growing up, beautiful and what is more strong at those ages. They may not feel any harm at those ages. But as they get older they may feel pain.

Answer 9

well its not harmin herself its just the fashion today. most teenagers wanna do it. me, personally i dont like it, it dont look nice not even piercing ur toung is or the nipple or the back of their neck. they b inventing some nasty fashion but ur her mother and u shud say what shud b or not b at least till she lives with u ;)

Answer 10

low self esteem