Why do some people complain bitterly when they are in a Long Term Relationship?

Question

There are some folk that have everything that others can only dream about & there are some that don't realise just how lucky they are. I've listened to people (sometimes not quite knowing what to say) - who hate being single, interestingly - constantly complain about monogamy, life-sharing, security and stability levels being 'too high', feeling 'tied down' and how responsibility i.e. looking after significant other is 'killing' the fun in a LTR. I often ask "What do you want?" Answer: a re-wording of everything that they have complained about!
Bizarrely, some time later, these complainers seek 'excitement' by killing the stability/security in their LTR, cut down on how much they share with significant other etc. Sometimes they even repeatedly cheat and expect significant other to accept it. Then, the complainers complain that how this 'excitement' has ruined them and how their LTR has completely ruined their perception of life.

I'm sitting wondering 'Huh?' sometimes. I'm baffled

Just wanna say that I'm in an LTR - me and my boyfriend are very happy and very in love.

This question only refers to other folk in LTRs who have spoken, or rather complained, to both of us.

Answer 1

They have to have the drama, the soap opera life. Ever changing and never dull. Some people really do find routine flat out boring. Once they know their partner's next move, it is time for them to start looking over that fence. Maybe ADD, maybe depression, I know some that were just depressed and continued to stop the fire out on each LTR that they had. Usually just a true case of seeing the grass on the other side.

Answer 2

There is a saying that covers these people, "The grass is always greener on the other side!" I am in an LTR and am actually getting married this year and reaaly love having someone so close and special to share my life with. I would not give him up for the world!

Answer 3

Because when people are looking for husbands or wives the primary goal, despite what you might consciously think you're doing, is to procreate with someone whose genes will complement your own. This subconscious drive is the fire behind sexual attraction, and often demands that you mate with someone who is quite different from you. Hence the old adage, "Opposites attract".

But after the kids are made, then what? Nature doesn't really care about you afterwards. You've done your job and made kids, so what you do from there on out is irrelevant. If you are in fact married to someone who is "opposite" of you, how likely do you think it is to achieve happiness?

Answer 4

We don't appreciate enough. simple. We should just all appreciate whatever we have. All of life is subjective we make it what it is the love and security of a good long term relationship is as wonderful to that person as the wild independence and bondlessness of being single. Know what you want and then appreciate what you have as you made it!

Answer 5

they are just "venting" and compülaining about not having the life they fantisy about. It can be said that for people you are not intelligent enough that their idea of marriage is constrewed due to magazines, movies and films. Like the NOTEBOOK, the most unrealistic movie in the world that makes womens lives misarable because their man cant match up to men the read, hear about.

thats one possibility.

Answer 6

People like to be self indulgent and therefore complain too often. They should be working at these relationships they have. Surely they should only discuss any issues they have within their partnerships as it helps to keep them steady and active.

Answer 7

Sorry, I fell asleep halfway through your question.

Answer 8

If your relationship is as you describe it then it is time for you to move on.

Answer 9

Cos they really want out ?