my bf has asked me to marry him when we get 16 or 17 and i dont know what i should do i mean i love him and all. what u all think?
2006-07-24 00:36:46 · 42 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Your 14 years old your still young and some times love fades take your time if you still love him when your say 19 or 20 then take marrage into consideration
2006-07-24 00:42:36 · answer #1 · answered by ren08191980 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're right to ask for advice. And you're certainly right to make time to deliberate on this, because marriage is a BIG step for pretty much anyone.
I think it's flattering and wonderful and romantic that he wants to marry you. Enjoy the happiness that brings. There's nothing wrong with doing that. However, since you're asking what we think, I respectfully submit that you not get married just yet.
At your age you have the BEST opportunity to lay the foundation to live on your own. In doing so you will gain and maintain the confidence that will carry you through the rest of your life. Hopefully he's doing the same. Ideally, then you can both look towards the future and work towards it.
But right now, and even at 16 or 17, you're too young.
I don't mean that you can't handle it or you're not "grown up." I mean you're simply "too young" in that there's a big, beautiful, thriving, awe-inspiring world out there. Of course, it's also war-torn, dangerous and heart-breaking, and that's why you both should make time to prepare yourselves to live and thrive and work in it.
If you're not currently making plans, please begin to pursue additional education. A college degree is a must to making at least a minimum sustaining wage. It can be pretty brutal out here. But there's much more to living than a college education.
Make time to learn how to manage your money. If not, it will only haunt you in the years to come.
Avoid credit card debt like the plague. Like many people, you might finance part (or all) of your education with loans, which is debt. That's a fact of life, and you'll have to pay for that education over time. Were you to pile credit card debt ON TOP OF THAT, you'll spend the first 5-10 or more years paying off all that, and you'll find there are a lot of other things you'll want to do with your money than THAT.
Learn how to budget and meal plan and stretch your dollar.
Life can be wonderful. Marriage can be a good part of your life. But it's much more than a ceremony. It is truly a commitment and a partnership and it takes a lot of work, and there's much for which to prepare.
2006-07-24 01:09:05 · answer #2 · answered by cboni2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are both way too young to be talking about things like this! I know it's what every one will be telling you, but it's true. You should be enjoying your youth, NOT trying to get yourselves tied down. Tell your bf you don't believe people your age should be talking about marriage. If he loves you as much as you love him, he'll understand and be happy to spend the next few years with you while you figure things out. If he ends the relationship, at least you know you won't be weasting the next goodness knows how many years of your life on a guy who wasn't really worth it.
Personally, I think 16 or 17 is too young to be thinking about marriage. There are a lot of experiances out there for you both to have, and tangling yourselves up in a relationship that's to mature for you to really sustain will only cause problmes in the long run.
2006-07-24 00:42:28 · answer #3 · answered by Frankie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even at 16/17 I think you're too young to get married. Even though I loved my g/f when I was 16 and I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her I didn't ask her until she was 23.
Even that could be considered young but I'm not waiting anymore =)
2006-07-24 00:39:40 · answer #4 · answered by revoltix 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
16 and 17 not the marriageable ages. Wait till 21.
2006-07-24 00:39:11 · answer #5 · answered by Hem 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your love is still considered as puppy love that maybe change when time changes and may realize that,that was not a true love.even that guy might change also when time comes,then what will you do when you get marry nowadays while both are two young then both change love direction when getting older or even in twenty's.i'm sure both of you will undergo love stages as what the other people do.so dont get marry tooo young......enjoy life as free as the birds flying not like a birds inside the cages...life is beautiful,discover how beautiful it is first before getting married.
2006-07-24 00:52:11 · answer #6 · answered by archiemedes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you are too young to make a decision like that. At 17 you would still need permission from your parents and you wouldn't even be able to drink champagne at your own wedding. How would you support yourselves? Tell him to think about what he's saying more carefully.
It's been my experience that guys who want to get married that young are scared of ending up alone and they want anyone just so that won't happen.
2006-07-24 00:43:12 · answer #7 · answered by vampire_kitti 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're 14. Having fun and learning new things should be your top priority, not marriage. You have no idea where you'll be in 3 or 4 years. If you're still with this guy at 18, then you can start to think of marriage.
2006-07-24 00:41:15 · answer #8 · answered by vichussmith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to ask you again when you're 16 or 17.. and you'll make up your mind then.. although your parents are going to have something to say about it, and I'll bet it's going to be no.. you can't get married under 18 without parental consent.. and I don't think they're going to give it to you.
2006-07-24 00:40:42 · answer #9 · answered by Imani 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, you're too young. At 14 you only think you know who you are and what you want. Give your self some time to find out what you want from life and from a man or you'll end up saddled for a life time with kids and a husband that you wish you never had.
2006-07-24 00:40:03 · answer #10 · answered by Brandie C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋