I'm Paulina(28 years).My friend and her husband died in a car accident 6 years ago.They had a daughter - Emma(now 15 years old).Their insisted on me to become Emma's guardian if something happens to them(they didn't have relatives in the US).At that time I lived alone and I was 22,so there was no problem to take Emma with me.Soon we became best friends,just like sisters.Anyway,now I'm pregnant in 8th month and I don't work(I have a well-paid job,but now I'm on maternity leave).My boyfriend and I decided not to marry,but he is going to take care of the baby either.
That was the background,so you could understand it all.In the beginning of the pregnancy everything was OK,Emma took things very well.Lately she is a bit strange - doesn't want to talk,falls silent when I talk about the baby.I know her very well and I think she is jealous of the baby.She probably thinks the baby will get her place in the family.Tell me how can I help her understand that she will always be my best friend?
2006-07-23 23:29:50 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Well, she does have a point that your baby will be a real daughter, while she's only an outsider. But you know, perhaps it's just that she's a teen and goes through all those stuff.
I guess the only thing you can do is trying not to change your behaviour to Emma. Treat both of them equally.
2006-07-24 00:18:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Judging by the dates you gave, you became Emma's guardian when she was only 9 years old. Though you get along like sisters, she most likely considers you the mother figure in her life. She was probably OK with the pregnancy at the beginning because, to a teen, 9 months is a long way away ;) Now that the birth is coming soon, it's not surprising she may start to feel a bit threatened by the new baby.
Maybe if she feels that you would like to be able to depend on her help and that you trust her with some of the baby's care will make her feel that she has an important role in your family. Ask her opinions on the nursery or other details that will involve her in the process. Make sure she feels the baby is an addition to your family, not a replacement for her.
Congratulations and Good Luck! :)
2006-07-24 01:00:24 · answer #2 · answered by Avid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok sit her down and tell her that the baby wont take her place because, she's special to you and that you are her bestfriends daughter and nothing will ever change the way u care for her even if the baby comes, nothing will ever come between you guys. For the first few days let her help you with the baby that way she would start to build a bond to the baby and start loving it. Then that sheild of jealousy will be broken. If you have the baby in your arms and she's right there looking call her and give her a hug as well that way Emma will know that ure promise of the baby not take her place is true and the jealousy will stop.
2006-07-24 02:41:30 · answer #3 · answered by emopunkrockerchick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's 15, remember when you were 15, the whole world is confusing. She will be jealous, but once the baby is born, she will be a little mommy to the baby, just give her time.Be the best mom you can be to the new baby, you are going to be the ' mother' role model for Emma.And teach her how to be a mommy, so far you have done a wonderful Job with Emma, you have been her best friend, reinforce that you will ' need' her to help you get through this, and remember NOBODY can resist a babies first smile, not even Emma!
2006-07-24 00:55:51 · answer #4 · answered by noahsmom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well... I suggest u try & talk to her... datz the best thing u can do!
Keep reminding her that she'z one of the most special person u hv ever had & u can never forget her! Tell her that u have always luked upto her for any kind of help... and now wud again like her to help u out in bringin up d baby!
Tell her dat for every woman... hey baby is all d more important coz itz a part of her... She might nt understand it at first but then convince her dat she'll understand d day she has a baby.
Be careful nt to say sumthin dat hurts her... & let her feel special by tellin her that hse made ur life worth everythin... & u really thank her for being her best friend. Tell her, indeed ask her for a promise that whatever happens, u two will always be BEST Friendz!!
I hope dat may work.. cz i feel d best way to sort out issues is to talk to each other!
2006-07-24 00:15:23 · answer #5 · answered by who_carez69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be there for her, don't let her distance herself from you (or the family). Still do the same things that you have always done and invite her into the life of the child. Once she sees that no one could or will ever take her place in your heart, tension will slowly lessen, trust me it will take a while though, just don't give up on her. If you can have a girls night and have your boyfriend watch the baby, try to even make it at least a once a month occasion.
Good luck, and congrats!
2006-07-23 23:54:25 · answer #6 · answered by ditzychik508 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Advicing that you talk to her, I'm sure you must have already done it . Give her some time to get used to the idea, you must have considered that too. I do understand that it must be really hard for you. I do understand that you know that is not easyr for her either. Being a teenager is hard. She has lost her parents and of course she would never want to loose you. All I can suggest would be to try to envolve her in your new "you". Go out shopping for your baby together. Let her choose some of baby's toys or clothes. Ask her for her help after your baby will be born. I think that this will help her understand that you "need" her too.
Good luck!
2006-07-24 01:14:29 · answer #7 · answered by Claudia M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-10 13:18:32 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its very difficult for a lady to give a 1st place for another person than her child but you say that you have that another person who is very close with than your child so try to give equal importance to both of them when your child is born ok keep it up it will be a seem like a bigger task so best of luck there is no other way or try to find another person who seems to be very close than you for her encourage her with that relationship so tthat she won't find anything mising in her life and you should put your trust on your god jesus christ who makes all things right on time rea bibile daily and he will help to make all things certain
2006-07-24 01:05:15 · answer #9 · answered by johnny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her help to take care for the baby so that you can work.
2006-07-24 01:27:19 · answer #10 · answered by hann 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋