ok. so whenever i read a book that i really love, i become too involved. its almost like an obsession. im too emotionally attached to the characters and what happens to them so its almost like its happening to me too. for example, i recently started and finished a book where the girl falls in love only to lose her true love in an accident because her father is abusive (long story) and i just couldnt take that emotionally. i cant stop thinking about it and i keep crying. i know that the girl isnt me, but it hurts so bad and i dont know how to stop. but i cant read books without becoming so attached...do you see my dilemma? i dont know what to do about it or why im like this. do i have some sort of mental illness? because after so many years of this, thats what it feels like: an illness. theres something wrong with me. and the worst part is, absolutely NO one i know or that ive heard of can relate to me. so im stuck feeling these things by myself. please help me. i dont know what to do.
2006-07-23 21:29:50 · 17 answers · asked by hearts for tears 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
the thing i forgot to mention is...i hate when this happens, but i cant live without it. it kills me yet i have to do it again and again because otherwise i will go numb again...
2006-07-23 21:51:53 · update #1
maybe i am living through the characters and the probable reason for that is that they have something i cant obtain at the moment and that is true love...corny i know, but i need it and maybe thats what makes me fall so hard when i read.
2006-07-23 21:53:53 · update #2
stress? yes. stress from trauma in my life? doubtful. i dont think traumatic things have happened to me, not so bad that it would cause a disorder. im not sure, but i doubt it. my heads just messed up, thats all. and i dont know why, when nothing bad really happens to me.
2006-07-23 21:59:04 · update #3
why not try to accept it,it's not bad thing,actually,it could be the way of the catharsis of the emotion,take it as an enjoyment instead of the suffering then it will become an enjoyment,it depends on how you think about it
2006-07-23 23:14:54 · answer #1 · answered by meeerocks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing that i can think of is that maybe something traumatic happened to you at some point in your life, and when you read these books you detach your emotion about the trauma to the characters in the books.
If this is the case you could be suffering from Post Traumatic stress disorder. It is common for people who were abused, raped, in some kind of natural disaster or other traumatic event to have buried these feelings then when you see or read something that stirrs those feelings up, react in a very overly (or underly) dramatic sense...
I have PTSD and experience some of the same things you are talking about.
If you have not suffered a traumatic even then i don't know... please repost and let me know, because if this is the case i would really like to talk to you.... There is help you can get for PTSD and it is not an "illness" but a reaction to to much stress on the central nervous system,.,
Let me know
2006-07-23 21:40:43 · answer #2 · answered by starsforher 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is very common to identify with characters in a book and to get involved with them. However, you wrote "it kills me yet i have to do it again and again because otherwise i will go numb again". The key word here is "numb". I think you are living vicariously through your reading - trying to feel emotions because you are afraid of going "numb" - not feeling anything. Also, you wrote "my heads just messed up, thats all. and i dont know why, when nothing bad really happens to me." The part that I think is relevant is that nothing bad is happening to you. I think if you put this together with numb (no feelings) and nothing bad happening (no action), together your life is very empty and you are trying to fill it vicariously with the books you are reading. You want to feel and you want to act, yet something prevents you (maybe fear), so in this safe way, you get involved with your books.
If you feel out of control regarding this issue, it would not hurt to consult a counselor or psychologist. It doesn't necessarily mean you are mentally ill - maybe, you are just going through a hard time in your life (even though nothing is actually happening - that is what is hard for you) and the professional can help.
2006-07-27 04:11:31 · answer #3 · answered by happy inside 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if it's "usual" for this to happen every time you read a book, but it does happen sometimes. I can think of many instances such as watching the movie Titanic, reading Gone with The Wind, Schindler's List, etc. where this has happened to me.
I can tell you this much. When I was younger, probably until I was twenty or so, I was not emotionally mature enough to handle some of these books I was reading. It's not that they were too intellectually difficult, but reading books about death and dying was just too much for me to cope with. I eventually began to grow out of it as I went through college.
The key to living this way is to learn how to manage yourself. If you know a book ends badly--such as The Notebook--don't read it. Make better choices for yourself that way you can avoid having these episodes. That doesn't mean to stop reading altogether, it just means being more aware in your choices.
I know adult women who are the picture of mental health, but who do not want to watch movies saturated in sadness and tragedy. Know what triggers you and avoid it for awhile. Give yourself time, try reading these types of books later on...six months from now a year from now and see if you've gotten past it. You may grow out of it like I did, you may not.
Just allow yourself to be who you are. Your sensitivity and empathy are not something to be ashamed of. In fact it would probably make you a better, more compassionate, friend in real life.
2006-07-24 07:10:42 · answer #4 · answered by laney_po 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't worry yourself soooo much.And certainly don't listen to the one who/s telling u tha these r symptoms of post traumatic experience coz that's crazy. U should understand that when a person writes a book,hie/her main aim is to convey a message.that message cannot b understood by everybody,but only by those who can understand the characters and the situations as well,and u r one of thiose lucky beings.Maybe u don't realize it, but out in the world there r so many people who would give gold to b in ur place.There r some people who on reading a book r completely impassive and have no emotions whatsoever. They r not human, but u r!!!To live,we need to understand and understanding is based on emotions and feelings.Remove this silly notion from ur head and live and be human.U'll certainly find somebody u can relate to one day, and remember there is no harm in being simply human!!!
2006-07-24 00:13:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have gotten emotionally involved with a book or two also, but your situation seems extreme. Why not try reading some non-fiction for a while, maybe some adventure books or history or biography? Perhaps you are just too sensitive right now for the more emotional stories?
2006-07-23 21:37:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop reading for a while! I love books. I love reading. But if it is causing you problems, give yourself a break.
Okay next go and make an effort to get out and connect with people more. Get lost in your life and not your books.
Best of luck to you.
Hugs
2006-07-24 10:32:28 · answer #7 · answered by sp_isme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a very honest and humble person endowed with attributes that God has gifted to very few people in this world in return to their good deeds in the previous birth. But to be too emotional is also like letting yourself to instinctive reactions which is negation of a rational being. You get yourself involved with the characters in the fiction and your good nature comes to surface in response to the events in the fiction. Your reactions are factual and the source is fictitious. That is the fallacy in your conduct. Do not mind, I may sound harsh; you are precisely an innocent fool. but your intellectualism is very high and you are extremely an honest person who is true to herself.
It is a very simple problem, you have to understand that there is ego in you and another element of permanency in you. One is acting by doing all activities and another is watching within you as a detached witness. You have, now to be aware of that detached witness and ignore the emotionally charged being who reacts to others' suffering as if she could be of any help; that is one's ego which discriminates between dualities in day to day affairs. Do not run away by stopping reading such books. Just be conscious of your conduct and character. Rediscover yourself by making your own life a book worth reading. The knower has to be the knowledge, and the thinker has to be her thought. You are welcome to be in touch with me, for any such assistance.
2006-07-24 22:37:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think NOT reading is a good idea. And it seems like you're going to read anyway, whether we tell you to stop reading or not. So... try reading more! Challenge yourself with books that you wouldn't normally try to read. Start reading classics. Fill your head with more and more books.
Mental illness? Probably not. You're just compassionate. That's a good thing!
2006-07-24 06:17:08 · answer #9 · answered by AJK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry, u r not alone. I cry over a book too and if it really touched me, i read it over and over. I think it has something to do with our emotions and how we relate to the characters in the book
2006-07-23 23:18:38 · answer #10 · answered by Amy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋