I had a lover/boyfriend from China over 10 years ago. I broke up with him; his feelings were strong. Mine were too, but at that time I wasn't ready.
We've stayed in touch over 10 years and both admit regret. Especailly when he got married 3 years ago. Then double for me when his baby came. But we still stayed in touch; I even have dreams about him that are true with what is going on in his life.
I am going to China soon. I haven't seen him in these 10 years ! He knows how I feel and was so happy and excited when i told him i am coming . He said "Great, i can pick you up from the airport, you can see my house, meet my wife and baby"..
My respons: no it is too sad for me.
Am I wrong to feel this way? He says come on it was 10 years ago I still care abou tyou are my best friend. But for me its too sad.
Question: should I see him?
And does he have some motive wanting me to see thisnew life; knowing it would make me feel sad?
2006-07-23 21:26:00 · 4 answers · asked by natalia g 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Hey, no, don't do this to yourself! He's not out to hurt you; he's just moved on, that's all.
You aren't wrong to feel this way either. But you do need to get over this, too.
His friendship must mean something to you. Many people are friends with exs, go to weddings, send letters and cards, and learn to be genuinely happy for each other. He wants to include you, not keep you as some shameful secret from his wife. Can you comprehend the respect that's there? You're pretty lucky to have that!
You found one wonderful man, and with your taste and experience, you should be able to recognize another good one soon. But you need to move on before this can happen. If you're still hung up on another guy, men can sense that sort of thing.
Don't snub him, but don't throw yourself into a reunion if you can't handle it. You never know, you may find that he is not as ideal as you remember, and be thankful you did not marry him. Either way, it wasn't meant to be, and you are better off for it.
I really hope it works out. Good friends are a rare treasure.....
2006-07-23 21:44:28 · answer #1 · answered by mithril 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do NOT go to his house, cease all communication with him, and move on with your life. do you really want to be sad and confused your whole life? or do you want to be the one who his wife files ''alienation of affection'' charges on? do you think, with over 5 billion people on the planet, that he is the ONLY one for you? Hes married with a child; give it up and move on...
2006-07-23 21:33:17 · answer #2 · answered by the prof 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seem him. It might make you sad but I think you need it to help you move on.
And naturally he would be happy to see you! You were once a big part of his life!
2006-07-23 21:36:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
may be he wants to f*** u
2006-07-23 21:31:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋