I had an affair. I regret it more than words can explain. Do I tell my husband?

Question

I got together with an old "friend" and things got out of control. We both knew there was sexual tension, but we both thought we could be strong.
I regret my behavior, and I know it won't happen again. I have realized how much I love my husband, but I am not getting what I need from the relationship. I am affraid to tell him, because he may leave me. I may deserve it, but our children don't. Should I tell him or wait until the kids are older or never tell at all?

Answer 1

never tell... and find out what you can do to make your marriage better

Answer 2

Ok from a mans point of view and I know I'll catch some S*** for this but here it goes, There are a few ways you can look at this
1. If your not getting what you need from him is he getting what he needs from you? It's so easy in a relationship for things to get old and routine and that is for both of you not just one of you. I have been married twice and burried twice and I know this can happen they call it the 7 year itch.
2. Telling him would take what fradgile relationship you have and eventually trash it forever and I don't think you want that.
3. Here is the best I can offer you, start being responsible for your own happiness, the first time I heard this I said "What?" But yes try it, do things your self that make you happy and then as you get better at it invite him into your chamber of delights make his interest in you come alive by finding something that you enjoy and want him to enjoy to (and not just girly things either) like do what I did, I have over 10,000 pictures in my yahoo photo albums and over 135 photo albums on every thing from 3-D dolphins to vampires and wolves hell just visit my 360 read my stories theres 5 or 6 of them. Learn to create your adventures in life and don't let this one mistake tear you apart. I mean my God you already have a guilty concience and that seems to be making you crazy that's punishment enough for you, and so there is no reason why you should make him suffer with your mistake. You would probably kill him with the news so don't ......don't make him suffer for that. Just start a hobby like mine, it worked for me and now my fiance and I have almost 18 thousand pics between us and she's gaining on me. Just visit my 360 read the stories and enjoy my photo albums and start some of your own. Peace!

Answer 3

I cannot really tell you wether to tell your husband or not based on the small descrition you wrote. All I can say is that you feel remorse and want to put things right one thing is to try to know your husband more and fill the void you feel in the relationship probably look at trying to renew your vows or something. Also if you ever tell your husband [because eventually these things will come out] prepare him for it. Good Luck and do not allow things to build up next time

Answer 4

You have to keep your mouth shut, and cut off your relationship with that guy totally. No hello, no phone no mail forever. The problem is that the guy will try it again and again. He has nothing to loose. If he will try to call you at home or your office, or stalk you, your husband will know. And the thing will get out of hand again, but this time it means your marriage. It's therefore your homework to stop that guy totally.

Answer 5

Honey, never tell your husband on what you had done behind him coz he will never forgive you and will file divorce with you. Put the past behind you and lead the normal life. I know you live with guilt but for the sake of your marriage and children, swallow down and start afresh.

Since you had done wrong in the 1st place, do treat more caring and love your husband and children dearly. Of course, not letting him suspecting your guilt coz men also has sixth sense.

I do not wish to hear your marriage fail coz of your honesty of confession and it will not bring any benefits but bitter and sad endings. Cheer up.

Answer 6

Never tell. Move forward and don't make the same mistake again, and as Heidi said, start working on your relationship to see how you can get the spark back into it. It can be done if there is true love at the basis of it.

Answer 7

I would not tell him, but make sure there is no way in the world he would find out on his own. Realize what you did was wrong but also realize that you also have needs yr self. Sit down with him and talk about what it is u feel u r missing and ways u can mend this together.

Answer 8

Yes tell him. If your not getting anything from the marriage, then you could get help. My ex had an affair and I had to find out from friends. If I had heard it from her then it would have made things a little easier.

Answer 9

I think you should keep shut. I hope you have repented by realizing your mistake. Don't make your, his and your kids life miserable. If fact talk about your relationship to him and work on making your marriage better. And behave in future. All the best.

Answer 10

Never tell; If you wait a few years it may be the other way around.

Answer 11

never talk bout the affair ever again to any soul-max u may go to confession.
but do tell ur hubby bout wot u expect from him in the marriage-for ur happiness and satisfaction-im sure he wont guess wot u want now, awrt?