Please help me. I am a normal married man with a wife and little baby... However, I have a problem with wandering eyes... PLEASE don't take me the wrong way here, I'm only being open about a problem I need help with. Here we go.....My wife has caught me several times looking at other women's breasts (usually attractive women) . I cannot deny this, and I feel bad because I'm aware of my problem and it's not cool...especially for my wife. Sometimes I succeed, and avoid looking, and sometimes I cannot help but to look :-( ... She asked me "Why must i look?", and don't know why or how to explain....All I can think of is that, I'm attracted to nice breasts. and well... It's a part on a woman's body that turns me on...Is there someting deeper than this???... Thanks in advance..
legend
2006-07-23 19:41:35 · 13 answers · asked by omarlegend 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Well, there is nothing wrong with you. You are just aroused when seeing attractive women with breast, as most men are. Women are attracted to various body parts of men as well. But, you are just proberably abit more obssessed with breast and it turns you on even more, when the women are attractive. Am I right?
You said your wife has caught you a few times looking at a women's breast, maybe you did it so much that you did not realize she was going to catch you. You also added, is there something deeper than this? Yes, I would assume so.
Well, let me ask you something. Are you still attracted to your wife physically? Is she attractive, older, are her looks fading? Does she have big breast? The reason I'm asking you this is because maybe you wish she looked like the women that turn you on with nice breast. You maybe unhappy in your marriage and sex life and this is a way that you get emotional gratification.
I do not know a cure for this, seem's harmless in a way, but on the other hand, how does it affect your wife. Does she get upset, angry, or does she ignore it, (in denial kind of thing)?
Talk with her about it, be honest, because her instincts already kicked in, she knows you're attracted to beautiful, busty women.
See how you can work out your obsession with her. If you are in love with your wife, mind you I said, (IF) you're in love with her, then focus on giving her that attention, if you can't then, your interest lie's else where and you need to make a decision on what to do. It may lead to an affair, or may not, I don't know, but what happends if a sexy women catch you starring at her breast and end up being attracted to you, that would put you in a whole different situation now wouldn't it?
I hope I answered your question, or at least helped you out some..Good luck, and if you're gonner look, don't make it so obvious, your wife has feelings too. imagine if she was checking out the goods on some nice looking guy. How would you feel? (my thoughts exactly)!!
2006-07-24 13:02:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is True. Men are attracted to the shape of cleavage because it looks like the buttocks. You'll notice that cleavage and a_s_s cheeks look very similar.
We are attracted to the buttocks because as you know in our more animalistic past we usually mated from behind on all fours, yes even primates from which we are derived. The site of buttocks would turn on the male of the species and prepare him for intercourse.
In our modern world, since cleavage looks like the buttocks it attracts the male. So yes it is wired into you to be attracted to the shape of the female cleavage.
However as a civilized male, we learn to suppress these urges, and in a polite society there is a time and a place to look at cleavage.
It's unfortunate you cannot control this impulse better, however you should remind your wife that these other women ARE putting their cleavage on display TO BE LOOKED AT.
There is no harm in looking, but please find the maturity and respect for your wife to learn how to look at them in her presence without drawing attention to that fact. Being able to control these urges is what separates the boys from the men. Be a man.
Also she should relax a little and not feel threatened when you do look.
2006-07-23 20:05:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't be ashamed of being attracted to other women at all. It's disrespectful to your wife to look at others when with her but being an adult and letting her know it's an attraction that has nothing to do with her at all or her body.
My opinion is, "it doesn't hurt to look". I do and my wife knows I do on occasion. It's no big deal and she's secure in our relationship.
I doubt there is anything deeper to this. I do it for the same reasons.
Good luck my mammary distracted friend!!
2006-07-23 20:23:59 · answer #3 · answered by David W 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The real question is weither or not your wife is attractive or has attractive breast. If she isn't sexy enough for you maybe you and her need to spend a little you know what time together. Maybe have her dress in some langerie or dress up in a outfit that makes her breast look good.
2006-07-23 19:49:31 · answer #4 · answered by Thomas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 19 and single. I don't look at the breast often. Actually I look at her hair, face, and other parts more often. I look at the rear end when she is leaving almost everytime I see a girl leave.
2016-03-27 04:43:54 · answer #5 · answered by Marie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LOL, you're just a guy i guess! hahaha, honestly i think all you can do is try really hard to make a CONCIOUS effort NOT to stare, so when you see a woman and realize you are looking at her breasts, make it a point to tell yourself to look higher. or you could have your wife say something embarassing each time so that you don't do it and get conditioned that way, or you could maybe wear a rubberband on your arm and each time you catch yourself staring snap it really hard. basically you just have to condition yourself, remind yourself.....your wife will respect you more.
2006-07-23 19:48:35 · answer #6 · answered by origchick 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All guys look. It's part of their DNA. Your wife may feel like she isn't attractive to you since you have a young child, so be sure to make her feel attractive and convince her that she is beautiful and she is the one. You can't help what you do instinctively.
2006-07-23 19:49:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you like a bit of a perv.
Perhaps you should associate looking at women's breasts (other than your wife's) with some awful or negative, like oh... dog poo, or something that makes you feel sick, so that if you are tempted, it doesn't last very long!
2006-07-23 19:49:44 · answer #8 · answered by Bratfeatures 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
YOU'RE A MAN! That's what we do. It's hard wired into us to breed, and the shape of breasts arouses us. You can control it though. Just look away. You don't smack all the stupid people you see, right? I know you want to, you just know it isn't right. Tell yourself that it really bothers your wife, and know that you can control it and when you see 'um, just look away.
2006-07-23 19:47:31 · answer #9 · answered by stevenhendon 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
looking is normal, just make sure it doesn't lead to cheating. Is your wife attractive too or you're looking elsewhere because she doesn't wear that type of clothing, etc?
2006-07-23 19:46:33 · answer #10 · answered by itsa_me23 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋