there have been times when he would smoke around my friends after i told him i didnt like it, and then he denied it then he got really aggrivated then even smoked a cigarette when he was on the phone with me.
2006-07-23 19:31:20 · 26 answers · asked by heather j 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Dancing
there have been times where he'll smoke around my friends, then i'll ask him about it and he'll deny it, when he said he would try to quit for me, cuz i asked him too and because he wanted to do it for me, because he wants me to be "happy"
2006-07-23 19:45:33 · update #1
I would say dump him ,b/c he is lying. And people are right about its his choice whether he smokes or not, but it is also your choice to decide if you want to date a guy who smokes or not. If he wants to be with you then he will give it up....otherwise, get rid of him. If its not your preference to date a smoker then you shouldnt.
2006-07-23 19:38:30 · answer #1 · answered by Mandy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you need to wonder what else he might be lying about. If you give in and accept that he is lying about this, you are setting yourself up for more lies of much greater magnitude later on.
A sure sign that someone is smoking is smell. Smell his hands - most smokers have a bad sense of smell and taste, and don't realize that their hands as well as hair smell of their smoke.
Of course your bf can claim that he was hanging around people who were smoking, but that is just the sort of situation where people will smoke.
Lay down the law. If he is going to smoke, he needs to tell you the truth about it. If he admits to smoking, you need to decide if that is something you are prepared to accept. If you cannot accept that he is going to smoke (and you are going to end up smoking as well - trust me on this, it always happens). then maybe you should find new people to be with. After all, if he is going to smoke, he is going to live 20 years less than he would if he didn't smoke.
And seriously, do you need to be dating someone who is going to lie to you about such a trifling little thing?
2006-07-24 02:42:53 · answer #2 · answered by arcayne_1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, you cannot change another person's habits only your reaction to their habits.
That said, you have to decide what to put up with. Is this the only sore point or is it the point you argue about, but there are more issues to deal with?
Second hand smoke is devastating to your health.
Primary smoke is devastating to his.
If your friends know you don't want him to smoke and he's "defying" you, then you're in the role of "mommy" not girlfriend - something else to think about.
2006-07-29 20:19:10 · answer #3 · answered by lrad1952 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is old enough to do what he wants. He was a smoker when you first started going out with him so it didn't put you of that much then. You can never change a person, it's not fair on them. If you don't like smoking ask him to smoke outside and eat plenty of mints.
2006-07-24 02:57:08 · answer #4 · answered by claire 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will learn that you can't change someone or make them stop doing something if they don't want to. Yes, you have the right to give your opinion and tell him that you don't like it when he smokes, but remember, that smoking is the hardest habit to break, and if hes doing it just to tick you off, then hes definitely not going to quit just because you don't like it. I guess it will all ball down to just how much you care about him and if you can learn to deal with his smoking. Fussing at him about it is only going to make him do it more!! Sorry!
2006-07-24 02:40:58 · answer #5 · answered by Stacey G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your not happy only because he smokes, get over it. the only reason he will ever be able to quit is for himself. it's not fair of someone to ask that unless there are other things going on (they are sick, or have been in a relationship for a while and say don't want their kids exposed to the second hand smoke). if he is lying about it can you trust him to tell you the truth about other things that he thinks might make you mad? think about it, and you should never have to change someone to be with them.
2006-07-24 04:33:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah...this question is in the wrong category, but I'll answer it anyway.
How would you feel if you were actually married to him and found out that he lied to you for years...went through all the trouble buying strong odor eliminating chewing gums...etc...until his smoke addiction gets so bad that nothing can mask it anymore?
Yeah...this happened to me. ...is happening. Off and on...he would say he stopped...but then I insisted that he smelled like smoke. In fact he said that it was from being around co-workers who smoke.
He will never quit for you...you can just forget that. Dump him, baby...I got two kids...so, I can't...but you surely can. Don't settle for less.
2006-07-29 22:58:30 · answer #7 · answered by justmemimi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His smoking doesn't make him a bad person! He can't change for you. He can only change for himself, (and that's only if he really wants to.) He knows you don't like for him to smoke in front of you, so he is respecting your wishes by not smoking in front of you. That should be enough. He lies to you about his smoking because he knows that if you know about it, it will upset you. He's not quitting for you, but he is trying to make you happy. If you didn't like his smoking, you never should have started dating him in the first place. You should have chosen a non-smoker. Maybe you do love him, I don't know, but it seems to me that you like this guy allot, but you would like him better if he was different. What else don't you like about him? Isn't there anything else you would like to change about him? Do you like the clothes he wears, or do you want to change that to? You wouldn't want a guy that couldn't reach your standards. Lighten up! Accept him as he is or find someone you like better.
2006-07-29 20:40:04 · answer #8 · answered by smommeee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey girl, Wake up! What's wrong with your nose? You can definitely tell if he's smoking or not. Try to get closer on his face this time and there! You might convince yourself to go away, It's stinks and gross. How could you make a torrid kiss with ash trays??? Huller??!! Don't you want a Fresh Breath with mint fragrance?? Ummmm....
2006-07-26 16:42:40 · answer #9 · answered by sophia_rey66 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think hes lying to you because he feels your not allowing him to be honest with you someone can only give up smoking when they know they are ready to do it u cant do it for somebody else and if his smoking bothers you that much then maybe thats a sign of incompatability? the more you pressure someone to do something they dont want to the more they will lie about it. sorry!!
2006-07-25 07:36:34 · answer #10 · answered by kirstie t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋