A friend somehow manages to invite himself over and decides how long to stay for the day ... how do I say no?

Question

I'm not the type who's easily intimidated. However, with this particular friend, I find myself a complete pushover.

Answer 1

make up an excuse that you have to go somewhere

Answer 2

Well, I don't know how one would manage to invite oneself over without sufficient acquiescence by you, the host. If it is a true friend, my true friends can stay as long as they like. If I'm tired of 'em, I'll let 'em know. If I need time to myself, have previous engagements, or just don't want to see this person, I turn the tables and suggest an alternate time (what're you up to NEXT WEEKEND?) or place (how 'bout I COME BY w/ a video and some sushi?).

If you're not easily intimidated, you shouldn't be so around anyone (parents, siblings and friends included), otherwise, you are really 'selectively intimidated'. What's the fear? They may not want to be friends? GOOD! Who's got time to babysit someone who can't entertain themselves? There is your life, and the life of others, the clearer you make that distinction, the more fulfilling life will eventually become. The best of friends should understand that your time and friendship are valuable, and they'll respect both. If not, are they your friends...truly?

Answer 3

Just that...Say "I'm sorry, I enjoy your company but I need this time to myself." Or simply say, "Now is not a good time for a visit but how about we get together saturday for a lunch or coffee?" In my own home I have visiting hours posted on the door and I observe specific phone times. My friends and family have learned to respect my wishes. I have set my boundaries to a healthy limit and I keep those boundaries. I let everyone know that unless it is an emergency to please phone before a visit if they can. Set your rules and boundaries and respect your own space. If people cannot respect your wishes then they are not a good friend. You should not hang around "toxic" people. Have you ever heard of the phrase "You can't fly with the eagles if your surrounded by turkeys."? Good Luck and Be brave in your new endever. Tina

Answer 4

Been there done that. So u can try this .When your friend is inviting himself over tell him u have to go out for some work .If u do it consistently 2-3 times he will get the message.

Answer 5

The nest time you see them call them as soon as you know that they had time to get home. That way you get the jump on them and don't have to worry about if they are coming or going to call. Tell them that you have rules to be followed and if they can't follow them then they go find a new place to hang! Tell them don't call between? and? and never after? and to call before coming over because you have a life outside of just one friend. When they call you can answer or not, depending on what is going on or if you want to talk.Everyone has the right to their own time and space!

Answer 6

well what i would do is come up with an excuse because you dont want to make the guy feel bad or stupid for coming uninvited. use some of these:
*my parents dont want guys in the house
*i had a rough night so i will be going to bed
*there are too many people coming over already and you dont want to get into toruble
*your having family over
*ask him that you will be cleaning you house and the only way he can be there is if he washes your dads, brothers and someone's draws, lol
*straight up, tell him your busy
thats all i can come up with now, hope they help...1

Answer 7

You say, "sorry, I've made other planes" or "I have a ton of things to do today".

Sometimes, little white lies are OK in situations such as this. But if that doesn't work, you'll need to be a bit more force full and say, "I don't really feel up to company today" or be more honest and say, "you're around so much that you are driving me nuts".

If you never learn to stand up for yourself, you will be walked on for the rest of your life.

Answer 8

You have to build up the courage to say no without the fear of reprisal. If you continue to allow your friend to walk over you, it will never stop. The problem will grow bigger, and it will be worse. He may decide to invite himself over and borrow your car one day.

Put an end to it and say "NO". The worst that can happen is he can choose not to be your friend anymore, and if that is the case, he was never really your friend to begin with.

Answer 9

You need to tell your friend he is no longer welcome to come over, I have had to say this to family members as well as friends. My home is my sanctuary and I place my own personal peace above everyone else's wants and desire. Never allow anyone to dictate how you spend your free time. Yes I am aware this sounds cruel , but I have even told my mother she is not a welcome visitor to my home, she used to stay all day and try to order me around, even as far as to request what she wanted to eat. I am a grown woman with children of my own, and I felt out of sorts, till I grew a backbone and said no more, yes it was difficult but I made it through ...

Answer 10

You need to sit down one day and have a nice conversation letting him know how u feel about the situation. If that doesn't work after a while, eventually you will get ANNOYD by it and believe it or not, but....you will SAY NO,AND GO AWAY!!

Answer 11

Oh boy, I know this feeling. It's a tough one too because you don't want to hurt them, offend them or make them real mad. The best thing to do is just be honest. Tell them you had plans to spend the day alone, or you had planned to go somewhere. Just be honest.