I used to be on of those women who abhored the idea of cheating and all cheaters, but after living in a resentful, lukewarm, and inconsistent marriage for 11 years, I'm finding it much easier to understand how infidelity happens. Like every other woman, I've had my chances and thankfully I haven't succumbed to them, but I'm starting to think that infidelity is not altogether an evil matter orchestrated by callous homewreckers. I have repeatedly expressed my concerns to my husband about our lack of intimacy (not the sexual sort); he just doesn't get it. Although I'd never resort to infidelity in the form of a one-night stand, the notion of an emotional affair frigthens me because I've grown to understand how it could happen. What are your thoughts: are emotional affairs and/or infidelity ever justified/forgiveable/understandable?
2006-07-23 18:52:16 · 10 answers · asked by ophelia 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Actually, I also agree with you. Surprisingly. My marriage was also luke warm and similar to yours. My X was the one who cheated. When I found out about it, it gave me "permission" to end the relationship and walk away. Although i never cheated, i can understand why he did. Unfortunately I couldn't forgive it, or trust him again. I can also admit, that i may have ended up doing the same thing if the marriage continued. As I experience more of life, i see less things in black or white. My question to you would be, why not leave?? My life is so much happier and fuller now. Although it's sad when a marriage ends.....sometimes it's healthier. If you can't/won't leave, be careful.......cheating can cost you everything. It did my husband. Good luck. I also have two kids similiar age to yours.....so i do know how you feel about staying.......
2006-07-23 19:01:32 · answer #1 · answered by wendy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think anything can really "justify" infidelity.
However, we are all human and it is understandable how it can happen very easily given the circumstances you are living in. It may be small comfort, but I am quite certain that there are numerous women living the same emotionally dried up existence. A lot of people might advise leaving.
"Easier said than done,"
and so much easier to do when you are younger
or not financially dependent.
Anyone who cheats really has to have a gambler's mindset because the stakes are high...
and you have to be willing to risk everything,
and possibly lose it all, if you should get caught.
No one can really tell you what is best for you, simply because they are NOT you.
Whatever you ultimately decide to do,
please remember one thing..
"Confession is good for the soul...
ONLY when you're on your deathbed."
Good Luck~*
2006-07-23 19:19:02 · answer #2 · answered by DG 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no justification for infidelity. The first thing I would recommend is for you to pray about your marriage and ask God to help heal your marriage. Trust in God and cast your cares on Him and ask for his guidance. If your marriage is that bad and you have tried talking to him and he doesn't try and change maybe you should then try a marriage counselor. If your husband does not want to go then you should go and discuss your feelings and find out why you are unhappy. I would not recommend infidelity. The only thing that will happen is you will eventually feel bad about it and hate yourself for it. Good luck and I'll be praying for your marriage God Bless
2006-07-23 19:27:31 · answer #3 · answered by ROBERT S 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
in case you have a typical monogamous marriage you will possibly desire to now stay conscious with him. Has he asked you to or is this your theory? If it is your theory, do you think of he'd fairly choose a "pity screw" that's what it would be. Do you sense like hiding this out of your husband for something of your courting? BTW if he would not die - drugs advances continuously - and he's cured of his ailment, you will possibly desire to think again this "friendship". It seems such as you're having an emotional affair with this guy. This courting might desire to have stopped whilst he reported he grew to become into in love with you. First hint of deep feeling and you will possibly desire to have been helping him detect a miles better half who ought to proportion all aspects of his existence.
2016-11-02 21:09:15 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they can be understood and even forgiven but they are never justifiable never. Your husband is your husband for better or for worse. that includes everything evenwhen intimacy has gon south. Keep trying to get through to him hes your husband.
2006-07-23 19:36:00 · answer #5 · answered by Justin D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1
2017-03-02 01:13:24 · answer #6 · answered by Frey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me..if your marriage is bad enough to drive you to the arms of another...it is bad enough to end altogether...and then pursue other people with no moral problems....
2006-07-23 19:00:05 · answer #7 · answered by billtucker67 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
never justified! it is an evil matter. have fear in God.
g
2006-07-23 19:04:38 · answer #8 · answered by melreka 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's never justified... but it is understandable
2006-07-23 18:56:22 · answer #9 · answered by heidielizabeth69 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no
2006-07-24 12:47:04 · answer #10 · answered by trgger23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋