older adult peoples advice plz.. have you ever experiances real true love?

Question

0k so i just watched the movie ( The Notebook) for the 1st time .. and let me tell you I was balling like a baby LOL .. i cant help but wonder if love like that is real is it true ? Ive been with my husband for 10 and a half years about to be married 5 ..we share a child together ..my marriage is very rocky and im not secure in it at all .. after watching that movie i cant help but wonder what im missing out on .. does love like that really exist is it real ? I put up with alot in my marriage cuz i feel i committed myself to him in marrige and its the right thing to do but now i cant help but wonder what im missing if that kinda love really exists i want to have it . has any of you had it ?? and if so plz explain ..my husband works and cares for me and our child while im a stay at home mom and i appreciate that very much ..but wonder if this is luv cuz i dont feel it.. i dont feel comfortable around my husb

he has cheated a couple times thru out the years and done and said some terrible things that i cant seem to forget but i do try i mean i am still here but i just feel he broke me down as a person ..if love like that exists i want it i want it so bad ..

Answer 1

I was with a guy for 20 years where he lied and cheated almost the whole time, rarely worked, abused me and his kids, used me and drugs, didn't respect me or anyone else, and thought it was his right to cheat on his wife but not his wifes right to cheat on him (I didn't even though he did over and over). I was very young and stupid when I met and married this jerk. I finally got fed up, left, and divorced him.

I have since that time found true love. I have the most wonderful, amazing, fantastic, caring, loving, respectful, honest, truthful man on this planet!! He loves and respects me with his heart and soul, like I do him. He treats me like a goddess and has me on a pedestal, and I treat him like a king and have him on a pedestal. We have tons in common, and what we don't have in common makes the relationship interesting and fun. We don't depend on each other for much. We just compliment each others lives. I was too dependent on my ex for far too long and refuse to do that again.

Anyway, I do believe that there is true love, a soul mate, for every one. I got lucky and found mine.

I believe that when in a relationship, you must have: trust, great communication, lots of love, and respect. If you don't have those things for each other, then you really don't have a marriage but a relationship of convenience or a living hell. I think that you need to search in yourself and decide what you want and need to make you happy, with or without him. It is up to you to make yourself happy, not him. If he does, then all the better. But if he doesn't, then don't expect him to change and do it now. Have you talked with him to let him know how you feel? If not, then how is he to know what you want and or need. What kind of stuff are you putting up with? You shouldn't have to put up with anything, especially abuse and cheating. From what you have written, it sounds like he doesn't love or respect you. Do you really want to live with that? Do you really want your kids to see and feel the disrespect? Believe it or not, kids will see and sense the tension between you, even if you try to hide it from them. Then they suffer as much as you do because they don't like to see or sense that their parents are unhappy. It is not healthy for them to see or sense this stuff. When they do, they usually end up growing up thinking that that's how marriages are supposed to be: one abusing another, the abused putting up with it, etc. Do you really want that for your kids?

These are all things for you to think about and answer. Only YOU can answer these questions, and any others you can come up with. Only YOU can make the decision to change your life if you are unhappy. DON'T expect someone else to do it for you because it won't work. Only YOU can change your life.

Good luck. I do hope that this has helped.

Answer 2

True love begins within oneself.
We can spend our whole lives trying to make others happy and hope that they shower us with love in return.
It just doesn't happen that way.

One thing I know for sure is that love is not supposed to be painful or uncomfortable.

Sure marriage isn't easy, and it sometimes takes a lot of work;
but that's not a reason to be miserable.
Love is supposed to sponsor comfort.

Try to work it out with your husband, but remember that you can't force love.
It's either given freely or not at all.

You might even have to face the fact that you don't belong together.

Answer 3

Yes it does. I was married 30 years when my husband died at work, and I found it very hard to go on, but I did because that's all you can do.

Answer 4

There were times I thought I was, but looking back I'm not so sure...

Answer 5

i havent found it