I am trying to figure out what to do about a guy that i have been with for about 5months, who is abusive in every way toward me. I love him inside but he doesn't respect me or care that i am 12wks pregnant with his child and could make me have a misscarriage. We are both 18 and he really has nothing going for him in life but probably a trip to jail or what not. I want what is best for me and the safety of my unborn child, but if i try to not talk to him or leave him alone then he follows me or threatens me that i'll never be able to date anyone else because he's crazy and he would probably kill them or me. His parents never raised him and they both are trouble and were mean to him like abuse him and that's one reason why i think that he does me like that. He blames me, for him hitting me,he says that i run my mouth and keep fussing at him to where he just goes off. It's hard to stay home and not have anyone to talk to and wonder where he might be, because he just don't care.
2006-07-23 18:09:24 · 13 answers · asked by bird lover 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I know you think you love him, but i'll tell you something right now. i gre up with my dad beating the hel out of my mom. to tell the truth, i would have rather not had a father at all, then one that beat the hell out of my mom. he never hit me, but i don't know about this guy thta your with... but he sounds like the classic "stop making me mad and i'll stop hitting you" type of guy, so i'll tell you what... no man has the right to put his hands on you...ever. essescially because your pregnent with his baby. simple advise is to leave his ***... but i know it's more difficult for you than that... go back to your parents house, if you have them...go to an aunt and uncle's... go to a friend's house... go anywhere... and don't go back... and make sure you call the police if he hits you again. love, real love isn't degrading and cruel, just remember that.
2006-07-23 19:24:13 · answer #1 · answered by Lynn 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
wow, I find it amazing that you care about him despite everything he does to you. I really respect that. you say that you love him, but I have to question that. Is it love that you feel for him, or is it more like sympathy? Has he always treated you so poorly or was there a beginning to all this? Maybe when he found out you were pregnant, it changed things for him. With people like him, even though it may seem like he dislikes you at times, you probably mean a lot more to him than he'd ever admit. He needs help and as his girlfriend, the best thing you could do for him is find someone who can help him, a psychologist or something.
I would say that the best way out of this is to notify the police or some authoritative figure. The bottom line is you need to tell someone who can help you. Tell someone you trust, either a teacher, counselor, neighbor, friend, anyone. Just so someone knows about the situation. That way if you're scared to go to the police because of what your boyfriend might do, somebody else could do it for you. It might be hard to do but it's the best way. If you're going to have the baby, you can't afford to have him abuse you or the child. You have to get him out of your life or he'll just drag you down. If you tell somebody, they could find help for him. He could see a psychologist or somebody who would be able to get him on the right track. Do this A.S.A.P. if possible, you could even move in with somebody temporarily who could prevent him from seeing you.
I wouldn't suggest trying to date anyone else, not for a while at least. If he's serious about hurting you or anyone else you date, the situation could escalate. Even if you do get him out of your life, it might be better to stay single for a while. This would give you time to heal and if you had the baby, it would give you the time and space to go through with it. Ask your friends for help. I'm sure anyone would be willing to help you get through this. Whatever happens, if he does end up going to jail or worse, please don't ever blame yourself for it. It was partly his parents' and partly his own fault. I'm sorry that you have to go through all this. I can't even imagine what it must be like. I promise you, you'll be in my prayers. God bless.
2006-07-23 19:13:17 · answer #2 · answered by Silver Spoon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may think that you understand his reasons for his behavior, but it's still no excuse for the way he's been treating you. NOBODY deserves to be treated that way. You should've left him the moment he laid his hand on you.
You need to call the police or the Domestic Violence Hotline, as someone else has mentioned. Next time he abuses you, whether it be hitting or yelling, you need to call the police the moment it happens.
It's a very big mistake that a lot of girls make.. when we're kids boys show that they like girls when they tease them and pull their hair. We make the mistake of thinking this sort of behavior is still acceptable as adults. It's not. No matter how much sympathy you feel for him, he's not worth it. Every woman deserves a man that will treat her right.
The sooner you get him out of your life, the sooner you will be able to find someone that truly loves you and cares about you.
2006-07-23 18:28:02 · answer #3 · answered by bettalover 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey i know exactly what you mean! first of all i dont give a dam what people say or think love is very strong! Im 19 and well ive been with my hunnie for 3 long years and he too has a temper and tends to get out of control. one thing i can say is that JAIL doesnt do ****! when i was sixteen he went in for hitting me and got a week! he is now 19 and we are currently still together BUT he slipped again and he is presently doing time in jail! but you know what! i was in the same situation where he was very abusive and jeolous towards me and my surroundings! i too moved out of my house, dropped out of school and made a life with him! it didnt work! the abuse doesnt stop it really does get worse but you know what! time in jail helps them realize what they truly have and it makes it cherish it! now i am currently with him only he promises he will change when we both know that he wont! so sweety all i can tell you is to really just follow your heart and truly talk to him one on one! **** what people tell you! its your life not theirs! no one is gonna be there for you when he beats your *** but you and him so you need to realize what you have and go for it! if you feel this isnt what you want! GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN~~~~~ five months is nothing! you can still get away! try 3 years and you can't leave him cause hes so controlative!
2006-07-23 18:33:57 · answer #4 · answered by jenny m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't you make excuses for the way he is.he is what he is because that is what hs choses to be.Everytime he lays a hand on you call the pigs have him arrested unless you have brothers that will convince him to go away.
Better yet find a biker .I mean a real one be-friend and then tell him what you just told us and your problems should dissappear.AND if anyone on here says COUNCesling I am gonna puke!
2006-07-23 18:17:07 · answer #5 · answered by jgmafb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go back home to your parents...he is abusing you and it will only get worse. If you can't go to your parents go to the nearest police station and tell them you are pregnant and your boyfriend beats you. You will have to press charges against him and have him arrested. If you don't there is nothing anyone can do for you...
2006-07-23 18:12:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't care what he says, it's not your fault. You don't deserve that kind of treatment. Run away as fast as you can. Abusive relationships usually don't get better, just worse. Get a restraining order if you have to.
2006-07-23 18:59:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He comes over for sex? Have you said no? Not answered the door? Call the police if youve tried those things You dont love him. You dont know what life without him is like anymore so you feel leaving him is scary because it would be completely different. But if your thinking of moving away from him dont be ridiculous enough to think you love him
2016-03-16 04:12:02 · answer #8 · answered by Shane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave him. No one deserves to be treated like that. You and your unborn baby are worth so much more than that. No matter how hard it may seem to get away from him, it is possible. Don't ever give up.
2006-07-23 18:22:29 · answer #9 · answered by indianprincess 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do whats best 4 yo baby. LEAVE HIM!! My mom was in a similar situation(not with my dad but an ex b-friend.) He beat her so bad an he almost took her life. What if when u have the baby he beats em?? That wouldn't be good. I know its hard to leave cuz u love him but u can do beta than that. plz let him go b4 sumthing really really bad happens to u or the baby. *Never Make sum1 your everything cuz when they leave u have nothin*
2006-07-23 18:38:45 · answer #10 · answered by 8_letters_3_words_1_meaning 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋