we were together for 20 yrs he was my partner my soul my best friend and although I had 2 yrs to prepare for his passing I never did. I guess i just lived for the present and now almost 2 yrs later I find myself constantly thinking of him, crying and wondering why and what if, I have such a large whole in my heart don't think I'll ever be able to move on,I'm only 45 with 3 kids still in school I try to put on a front like its ok and I've moved on but the truth is there isn't a day that goes by that I don't consider suicide NOT a day! I don't want to leavew my kids orphans but I honestly can't see myself going on alone, without him.
2006-07-23 18:01:42 · 14 answers · asked by sandi2661 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Hang on, you can do this!
I know it hurts worse than any pain you have ever experienced but you need to remember that you have worth and your kids need you. You will never stop loving your husband, you just won't. But the pain will ease in time and you will find a new someone special. God will see to that!
What do you do for yourself? Do you ever pamper yourself with a manicure or buy a slinky little dress for the next Mr. Right? I know it sounds weird but you have to start thinking about the future. It's time, and it's okay now. You need to restart your life! How old are the kids? Can they fend for themselves for an evening? Go to the movies with a girlfriend or join a gym or something. Get out of the house often and reclaim your identity. Your husband would want you to live a happy life and there is a man out there who is desperately looking for a woman who understands what is important and what really matters. He wants kids and he needs someone to care for. He is out there!!!
Start out slow and ease back into life. You will find him or he will find you much sooner than you think! Come on, let's do this.
Oh, and pray. Just tell God how you feel. You would be amazed to know how He feels about you right now.
2006-07-23 18:05:59 · answer #1 · answered by AK 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't commit suicide, your husband wouldn't want that. He would want you to go on and live your life. Keep the memories. Remember all the good time you had together. Be thankful that you had 20 years together, some people don't get that much.
It's not going to happen overnight but eventually you can move past the grief and truly get on with your life. If you are thinking of suicide all the time consider seeing a counselor.
2006-07-24 01:10:19 · answer #2 · answered by vampire_kitti 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT kill yourself. My father did, i found his body when i was only 4 which affected me and my brother hates men cos of what he did. Think of your kids, they need you. Why put on a front? people are out there to help you. Our 50 yr old neighbour hung herself after losing her husband and all her friends were horrified that she did not phone them before doing it so that they could talk her out of it, or just be there for her. Time heals...i know as I have been there. You do not need someone so soon, just enjoy yr kids and time will take of you. The empty hole will fade slowly but you will never forget him. Remember you had a good marriage which is more thn some people ever have.
2006-07-24 01:15:16 · answer #3 · answered by leicesterpiglet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes but it is up to you if you want to move on. He still lives in your heart and in your kids. See he was like the mighty oak tree and he left the seed to grow that is your kids. He will always be with you and if he could talk to you I'm sure he would say it's OK get your life together and move on . There is no way to replace him and the love you and he had but you can be happy again with some one else but in a different way. Also you need to go to grief support group this will help you and your kids . Plus you should talk to a Doctor about they way you are feeling. I will pray for you and the kids. They need you so don't leave them just work on getting better Please see a Doctor ask him for help. you can email me if you want. pattiiewack@yahoo.com
2006-07-24 01:25:01 · answer #4 · answered by Pattiiewack 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hang on every day. Time has a way of healing wounds however deep they are. Your kids need you and one day I'm sure you will find a companion who will ease your sorrow and help you enjoy life again. At least you loved and were loved. You were blessed. Some people go through life without knowing love. Isn't a pity. take care of your kids, they need you.
2006-07-24 01:19:01 · answer #5 · answered by einstein 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are dozens of dating web sites and they are all free for women. Place ads in several of them. Now just because 100 men a day try to contact you doesn't mean you even have to answer them, most other women don't. However it won't be long until the right one comes along. Good luck.
2006-07-24 01:08:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetheart look dont be talkin about suicide be thinkin about ur 3 kids i mean if u do something like that it will make ur 3 kids go crazy i mean u and them have just lost someone very special in your's life i really need one other right now.look suicide is not even in the question please please stop thinkin about it and if u cant please seek some help.and sweetheart i know it seems like u cant go on and u beleive theres is noone else out there for u but there is u just have to find him and that sweetheart is goin to take awhile cause u just lost someone very very dear to u and that hole in ur heart is goin to take sometime to heal and its goin to take u awhile to get over ur lost but look dont ever give up hope and remember ur husband aint gone he will forever live on in ur heart and soul and he is watchin over u and yalls kids and he will make sure nothing ever happens to yall.and remember he loved u and his kids so please hang in there u will pull thru this it will just take sometime.i wish u and ur kids all the love and prayers in the world.and look dont think of suicide it would disappoint ur husband i know it would i mean ur husband would want u to live on and remember all the good and lovein memories ur made and shared during yalls 20yrs of wonderful marriage yall had together and he would want u to be there for yalls kids so please hang in there u seem like a very strong woman and ur kids u and u need ur kids.
2006-07-24 01:13:44 · answer #7 · answered by ive_lost_my_m1nd_i_cant_find_it 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should give yourself a chance to meet someone new. You would never get over him, he will always be in your heart. Why should you? I dont think its wrong to remember someone you have love. However, you should open up if there is someone you find comfort in. Try, its hard but it will get easier if you have someone to walk with in this journey of life.
2006-07-24 01:07:11 · answer #8 · answered by tigg_z t 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sure he loved you just as much
stay strong... dont hide your feelings.. share them with your family and friends so they can help you hrough this
your children need you so much and would be devastated if they lost you too... it is ok for you to share your feelings with your children as well they are probably hurting just as much...
i cant even imagine how hard this must be for you but you will get there oneday...
see a psychologist for some advise and help but dont shut anyone out
remember god never gives us any more than we can handle...
2006-07-24 01:11:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Live for your kids and find inspirational support from your husband spiritually. You have to guide your kids to their ambitions.
2006-07-24 01:08:46 · answer #10 · answered by FRAGINAL, JTM 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋