What is reconcilitiation after cheating like?

Question

What is are the first few months/years like when you are trying to work things out with no trust on either side and years of hard feelings behind you. Can it it worked out , especially if the main cheater may still be cheating? Anyone ever done this? What to to expect? How does these situations usually end?

Answer 1

Well I have been in some bad relationships before and I have been cheated on plenty...I know from experience that they will continue to cheat even though they say they are not...you only going to cause yourself heartache and pain and mistrust in him as long as your with him....you deserve better than that...I tried to reconcile but it doesnt work cause you still think it the back of your mind what if hes still cheating or what if hes thinkin of someone else...and it doesnt work and you end up in the end getting hurt after knowing all along that hes been cheating...you may love him but you need to think to your self is it really worth fighting for...let me tell you that if someone cheats on you its a horrible feeling and even though you want to work it out...its really not worth the heartache later on....I know....its a true saying once a cheater always a cheater.....I didnt believe it either until it happend several times.....

Answer 2

They end badly and it doesn't get worked out if the cheater is still cheating. Eventually you get tired of being lied to all the time and decide to do better for yourself. If you do work it out is a very long, very slow, never fully completed road. Things may 'work out' but they will never be the same, once you hurt someone like that you can never really have them back the way they are. It simply changes who you are to each other. Its like a broken leg, it may heal but it still aches when the weather is bad.

Answer 3

It is very hard, because after you find out about the cheating ..the trust is gone...what to expect? well I can just tell you that you can expect he/she would do it again ("Once a cheater..always a cheater") . You can try to stay together, if you really want to give it a try, but just the thought that he/she might be cheating again would drive you insane, but if you two are really committed you probably will make it. try some counseling. Honestly...is your call, you decide if you want to stay with someone who you thought love you ...and cheated on you.

Answer 4

i hope it works for you if that is what you want but as alot of people have told you here, it did not work for me, trust is the main part of a relationship i feel,without it you can not feel the love or any part of a good relationship, my ex- was cuaght in bed with my best friend I forgave her and then came home from work and found her in bed with my new best friend, the point here is because she had no standards in life, the trust cloud not be rebuilt, in my case I had forgave her the first time but I never forgot, I carried that in me every day and we would fight almost everyday over some part of the affair she had, I don't belive once a cheat always a cheat because some people do make mistakes and it truley is a one time thing, if you feel you can work it out I wish you all the luck in the world, but please remember in order to truley forgive you must also forget.

Answer 5

I cheated on my husband about 4 years ago, and he left when he found out. But he came back and we worked things out. Since then he has had no trust in me, eventhough I have given him no reason at all (since then) not to trust me. We were finally at our breaking point with the trust issue a few weeks ago, and he left again to really think things through. Now that he sees that he CAN trust me again, things have gotten alot better. We are like newlyweds again, and things are better than they ever were. Sometimes they get over it quickly, sometimes not, but if they are willing to forgive and forget (that's the big one), then all may go well, as in my case. But if they are not, there just may not be a cause for reconciliation.

Answer 6

You can make your attempt because what you hear from asking this online won't necessarily apply to your situation. Having gone through the situation I can only say it didn't work for me. Without any trust or faith in each other it's like walking on egg shells. You are always waiting for them to crack, and all hell to break loose. Only you don't have true closure in a relationship if you don't go through every scenario possible to make sure it won't work. So, if this is where you are just do your best. Most of the time, they don't work.

Answer 7

Is there any feeling worse than having to worry whether or not your lover is cheating on you? It depends on your age and experience and whether you are married or not, but I'm not strong enough to handle it, for sure. I would rather be alone. True, reconciling has its advantages (the emotions are near first love status from what I remember), but if the behavior isn't going to stop, is it worth the pain that's going to follow? Your heart can only break so many times - there might not be anything left for someone more deserving of you.

Answer 8

I cheated on my husband about 16 years ago, but he let me stay in the marriage. We have now been married almost 30 years, and I'm so glad I stayed. He is great. He has never held it against me. I don't know what it would be like to be with someone who would exact revenge. I regret the affair, and I wish I could go back and undo it, but I'm thankful for the relationship my husband and I have today. If you can make it work, it is definately worth it.

Answer 9

Well...for me...it didn't end well at all. After he cheated on me with my best friend, he promised to make things right, to show me that he still loved me and cared, that he was sorry, and would make things better. In reality, it was all a load of BS. He neither cared nor did it matter to him that he broke my heart. I was the one who had to pick up the pieces and kept trying. In the end, all it did was add extra stress on me, and give me more grief. I ended up breaking it all off and saying 'enough!' It was only then that he realized he messed up, and wouldn't be getting me back ever. In all honesty, the situations concerning this never ends well. It's better if you moved on.

Answer 10

After reading your question it seems like you know what you need to do: you say no trust, years of hard feelings, and you suspect your significant other is continuing to cheat. It seems pretty clear cut...how could ending it possibly be worse than what you've just described?