Not Needed is one more word
Walking with you,
Talking with you,
Smiling at every word,
You take my hand,
And you understand,
Not needed is one more word.
The tears start to flow,
You tell me you know,
As you try to dry my tears,
My heartache is lighter,
For you held me tighter,
Not needed is one more tear.
The heartache is past,
My heart’s in a cast,
Healing ever so slowly,
The sadness won’t last,
It’s all in the past,
And not needed is one more word.
My heart I can tell,
Is now getting well,
And soon it shall be whole again,
Loved ones are dearer,
For now all is clearer,
Not needed is one more word.
Yeah---I wrote it--good or no??
2006-07-23 16:15:44 · 44 answers · asked by Kaitlynn J 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
Thanks everyone!
2006-07-23 16:20:22 · update #1
I think it shows your feelings. You should definitely keep writing. You have talent. You enjoy it. Get in touch with some poets, they will help you!! And don't let anyone tell you that its NOT good. Look what happened with Dr. Suess!! No one believed in him, not even his teachers or professors!! He got the last laugh!!
Please don't let the negative answers here get you down. Write, write, write!! Express yourself!! I am a teacher! Trust me!!
2006-07-23 16:26:25 · answer #1 · answered by southern belle 1 · 3⤊ 3⤋
change "bare" to "undergo" in line 2. that is a staggering and straightforward poem from a 13-twelve months-previous. Are you somewhat of a drama queen? it is okay, because once you're an adolescent each and every thing is dramatic. Love unrequited is like the top of the international. yet enable me factor something out to you: Ten years from now you may easily no longer undergo in options this boy's call, and also you've got here across someone who's so a lot extra ideal for you that you'll look decrease back at this and chuckle. reserve it. save writing. don't be afraid to placed up issues, and in the experience that they look somewhat trite to us previous fogies, it is because it is been see you later on account that we've been lovelorn 13-twelve months-olds that we've forgotten what it is like. by the way that's extremely sweet, and that i will guess you're too. and also you may write. large beginning.
2016-10-15 03:26:11 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love to see people writing poetry...it is such a beautiful expression of a person's being. Please keep writing. Also, you may consider posting some of your poems (I am sure this isn't your first) on poetry.com. It's a great site for both reading and writing poetry. If you're really in to poetry, ask your mom or dad to buy a subscription to a magazine called "Poets and Writers". It not only has a lot of great articles and essay's to read, but listings of all sorts of poetry contests that you can enter. Best wishes, and keep writing and posting!
2006-07-23 16:24:07 · answer #3 · answered by Mary D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why dont you look for a poem writing site on the internet and post it there? That way you can meet other ppl who write and read poems :)
Good luck with your poems.It's a good way to express yourself.
(I think some of the ppl replying forget that she's only 13)
2006-07-23 16:20:29 · answer #4 · answered by Kitty? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are writing this good at 13 years old, I would would say you could have quite a career of poem writing. Are your parents aware of how well you write?
When you return to school I would talk to your counselor and ask what they suggest to maintain this creativity you own....You are very talented. Don't allow anyone to take it away from you or discourage you. You could be very famous some day.........Much Luck to you.
2006-07-23 17:02:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I am an old man(54)but I think you have a lot of talent for writing.If you get one person to say it is not good do not let that get you down.KEEP GOING.They are probably just jealous that they didn't write it.Write more.Maybe one day we will see a book of poetry by you.
2006-07-23 16:51:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a good start. I would hope that you will continue with creative writing classes and produce more. You will then be able to assess the weaknesses and strengths of this piece and improve in your writing.
2006-07-23 16:22:04 · answer #7 · answered by peachyone 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes its great! Keep writing, too many kids your age do not like to write poetry or write anything for that matter. You may have a talent for writing and practicing will only make you future work better.
2006-07-23 16:26:02 · answer #8 · answered by KLL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think anybody had had this many answers ever or at least all that I have seen, keep it up you must be doing something right I loved it personally and so will my boyfriend, don't worry I won't steal it I'll tell him who wrote it.
2006-07-23 16:46:51 · answer #9 · answered by sam I am 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is seriously really good. You have a great future going for you. Check my 360 and Williams poems. He is one of my friends.
2006-07-23 16:20:36 · answer #10 · answered by ♥Sunflower 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sweetheart writting something like that at 13,, Your very very good.. dont stop now keep going and Book them.. you may just have something.. Show to your english teacher and see what they say.. I thought it was wonderfull.. Your friend in Tennessee...ROB
2006-07-23 16:22:33 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋