My boyfriend quit communicating with me out of the blue one day. I know for a fact that he went home to try to work things out with his wife. He tried calling me 4 times last week from his work, and sent an email asking where I was.
The situation is hard enough as is, so why is he trying to communicate with me now? Should I even bother listening to what he has to say?
2006-07-23 16:11:47 · 28 answers · asked by torn 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I understand where you are right now. I've been reading the responses to your question and I notice they may not be what you want to hear. The fact of the matter is you have feelings for this person, no matter if the situation is right or wrong!
I don't know how long you have been invloved with this person and don't know the dynamics of the relationship so I can't really say if he really loves or cares for you or not.
You say that you know for a fact that he has tried to work it out with his wife...how do you feel about that? How does it feel to say that out loud to somebody...or yourself? I can imagine that it is very painful...
As for why he is trying to communicate with you...(this may sound cliche) he probably doesn't want to hurt your feelings. (I say probably because I don't know for sure...I don't know him) In fact it really doesn't matter what he thinks or feels or does...you are more important! You should always put yourself first...I don't know if you realize what your actions are showing you but being the other woman means you don't think enough of yourself to be number 1.
Think about that statement and try to realize other situations where you have put yourself second. Learn to trust yourself...trusting yourself is crucial to your well being and happiness! You already know what the right thing is to do...you just have to be strong enough to do it.
I hope I helped you in any way possible...Good luck!
2006-07-23 16:42:23 · answer #1 · answered by Natasha G 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well let's have another perspective to the subject.
If you are interested in being the second (the girlfriend, or the mistress) then you sould not be surprised with his actions, so that would be your problem, because he will never move to change anything in the picture, a wife and a mistress is quite satisfying for most guys... If he is trying to workout his problems with his wife then you will always be the number 2. It looks like you don't mind... If he was on the way out of his marriage and you met him this would be a different situation, obviously you guys would be caring more for each other, knowing that things can be better for both of you. You have to find out where he is at, and what you want out of that relationship... If you just want create commotions in a marriage that is not right, because as any human being youshould have goals and aspirations and I hope that your aspirations in life can fly higher than just be a forever number 2 ...
Best
2006-07-24 00:23:08 · answer #2 · answered by Marky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The operative sentence in your question was: "I know for a fact that he went home to try to work things out with his wife." Why, oh why, oh whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, would you want to attempt to have any kind of relationship with a married man? A married man? Girlfriend, there are plenty of men out there that would treat you like the beautiful woman I know you are. You deserve better. He quit communicating with you. There's your answer. He went home to his wife and kids to be with the people he loves most. Then, when he is sick of them, he calls you to get a piece of azz, and lay up in bed with you a.k.a his "ho." Why do you want to be a piece of azz? You are a beautiful woman and you are worth it. Stop all communications with this loser effective immediately, take some time to yourself to recuperate and get your senses together, and then, get out there and find the man of your dreams!
2006-07-23 23:21:15 · answer #3 · answered by adjoadjo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay obvious rant....WHY IN THE HELL DID YOU GET INVOLVED WITH A MARRIED MAN???? Even though he's separated still means he's married.
Okay, now that's over, it looks like you realized your mistake. Sweetie, just let him keep calling until he gets the picture OR tell him flat out the next time he calls, this is a very sticky situation and you do not need the drama. Don't listen to him....he'll just feel your head with lies because he's too much of a ***** to tell you he probably wants to go back to his wife.
2006-07-23 23:19:03 · answer #4 · answered by shakia27 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all married men are a big NO NO, keep your hands to yourself, if he and his wife are working things out the best thing for you to do is back off even if he is communicating with you. Do Not even consider a relationship with this man until you see a divorce decree. if he cheats on his wife what is to stop him from cheating on you, the old saying is once a cheater always a cheater so pay heed and go on with your life.
2006-07-23 23:16:59 · answer #5 · answered by osu2720@sbcglobal.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry that it is hard for you. I am so sorry that you are hurting. Just pretend that I am his wife talking to you because some little girly like you is hugging up on my husband as we speak. Would you like to explain to my little boys why daddy isn't here anymore? How about try to help them when they pee their pants at the sight of him? Do you want to be the reason they cry at nighttime? Hard for you? You are hurting? WHO cares?! His family are the only ones who have the right to be hurting. Leave him alone! Leave us alone.
And besides, when he is home with her...you don't want to know the things he says about you. If you take him back, you must have even lower self-esteem than she does.
2006-07-23 23:47:05 · answer #6 · answered by woogieuh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like this guy wants his cake and eat it too..he has a wife and a mistress.
No sympathy here.You lie down with dogs,you wake up with fleas. You get what you ask for...the best thing to do is move on and be alone for awhile so you can figure out what you want.Then go for a single man.
2006-07-23 23:16:49 · answer #7 · answered by Kitty? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you should listen to what he has to say. Find out what was going through his mind. A broken marriage is an extremely hard thing to deal with. Maybe he wanted to see if there was anything left to the marriage to save. Which was the right thing to do. Talk to him and find out what's happening.
2006-07-23 23:19:12 · answer #8 · answered by BluePassion 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he was just using you 'cause he needed someone when he was away from home.... You want someone who is yours only, who respects you, and keeps you into consideration regardless of all other.... People like him would not be trust worthy... If he left his wife for you, then he would leave you for another one.... Besides even if he were to committ, do you really want the extra baggage that he comes with (wife....).
You want someone who would take care of you and not walk out
2006-07-23 23:21:34 · answer #9 · answered by Sunny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Walk away...tell him if you're available when he's got divorce papers in hand, then y'all can see about possibly exploring something together...
This is an example of why it's not a good idea to get involved with a married man...even if he's "separated" or in an "unhappy" relationship...
Good luck..
2006-07-23 23:15:52 · answer #10 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋