My soon to be mother inlaw had a problem with me she told me... My man made me go to her house and sit down and talk to her and get rid of our issues and she degraded me by telling me that she wants a DNA test of our son to see if that his kid and that even though she was divorced before and got remarried to his step dad that he should not be with a divorced woman and I am not to ever call her Honey that is disrectfull and that I am to call her by her name and when I marry her son I am to call her mom.. Nd my mother is terminal and my man went to oklahoma with me to visit her before something happened and my soon to be mom inlaw said that we were lying about her being terminal and that shes not dead yet and that I should respect her more by comming in her house and tell her hi even though she doesnt approve of me and when I tried to get up and leave when she was yelling at me yesterday saying all this stuff she told me no.. You are going to stay here and take it... Help. I feel hurt
2006-07-23 15:18:46 · 9 answers · asked by wilson970892_6 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She sounds awful.
But the bigger problem is with your fiance. He needs to support you and stand up to his mother which will be difficult as i think mothers and sons usually have close relationships in the phillipino culture.
The two of you need to sit down and discuss how his mom is treating you and how you both can "show a united front" together. If he is not willing to defend you, then she will always abuse you and it will get harder for you to love your fiance as time goes on.
Do you think she is racist? I am only assuming you are caucasian and that there might be other reasons for her disapproval of you. What expectations did she have for her son? Is he her only son?
And even though she is mean to you, it is a bit disrespectful to call an elder "honey"...though I'd have an even harder time calling her mom...aacck...
If she is a very traditional type of phillipino mom, then it does show "proper" respect for the younger person to greet the older person....I hope you aren't going to end up living at her house...
Anyhow, you and your fiance need to tallk to her....maybe he needs to talk to her alone and set down some rules.....and if you are caucasion...definately discuss the race/culture thing with him. You need to know what other proper etiquette things she expects so she doesn't just assume you are deliberately being rude.
2006-07-23 18:47:04 · answer #1 · answered by chickadiva 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why do you feel hurt? Shes nuts. You don't need to stay anywhere you don't want to be get up and leave! If she stops you in anyway psychical call the police. Move on and ignore her. She does not command respect simply by being your soon to be Mother in law. She has to earn that right. Your going to have a great marriage if shes in the picture. Might as well walk away now. Grow a strong backbone and good luck to you!
2006-07-23 15:26:21 · answer #2 · answered by sponggie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not good , the fact that he let his mother abuse you that way says so much. You need to think long and hard about getting into that family. Mother in laws can be awful, you see she sees you as a threat because you are taking her son away from her. and that is a normal part of growing up.But if she is from a different culture you will never change her mind and she will destroy your relationship.Run save yourself.
2006-07-23 15:31:16 · answer #3 · answered by Suzette 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just so you know...you will be suffering these abuses for the rest of your life....It is also important for you to know...that she will never ever take you side against her son....no matter what he does...If you come home and catch him in bed with your 14 year old neigbors daughter.. Your mother in law will tell you that her angel is incapable of doing such a thing and you are making up the story to give her a heart attack.
Just wait till she comes to your house and starts cooking and cleaning because she can see her little boy is starving to death and living in a pig sty.
So...the best thing for you to do is....either leave...or shut up with the whining....Latina mothers are all the same.
2006-07-23 15:25:48 · answer #4 · answered by werk2much2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have a big problem with this lady by me reading this your not filipino and that might be the problem all you can do is be yourself you dont have to deal with her if you dont want to stop being nice to her stop trying to make it right when she wants it wrong just stay away from her I hope your mom gets better take care
2006-07-23 15:30:42 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are an idiot ,,,if he is willing to see you disrespected by anyone ,,then you are less than someone else to him,, and not a real woman,, to take this abuse, get away fast,, and find a man willing to stand up to his mom ,,,you dont live there,, they live here,, and customs from third world countries shouldnt run your life,,, you are free in america,,, so,, f ,,them all ,,and see your mom,, and find a real man with dirty hands from work ,,,not a mommy should i marry this one ,,,thats probably why they are both divorced ,,they both are not wrappped too tight ,,get away
2006-07-23 15:26:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The proper Filipino way to show respect to mothers-in-law is to tell her: "Mabaho ka."
That's pronouced: mah-BAH-ho ka
2006-07-23 15:26:08 · answer #7 · answered by David S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You married your husband not his mother; however, it is important that you treat her wiht respect because she is still your husbands mother.
2006-07-23 15:22:58 · answer #8 · answered by Candie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
slap the *****...that'll shut her up
2006-07-23 16:17:16 · answer #9 · answered by BlueChimera 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋