just look outside your window, and see what lies before you. see the colors painted on the skies. and i, i; i will chase the sunset for you. and i, i; i will bring it back to you. if you just hold on to tonight. just hold on to the promise of tonight. may the beauty of these summer skies never cease to warm your heart and melt away the hurt and pain inside your crying eyes. if you just hold on to tonight. just hold on to the promise of tonight. and the sun is always the same tho you're miles and miles away and when i see the sun in these summer skies, i will think of you and see; the beauty that's hidden in your eyes, reflecting in these painted skies. if you just hold on to tonight. just hold on for me tonight...then everything, everything will be alright...
2006-07-23 15:00:47 · 20 answers · asked by lifeistough_period 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Visual Arts ➔ Other - Visual Arts
That was the sweetest thing I have heard in a long time! Thank you for sharing that. I hope that you keep that poem tucked away so you can read it when you're 40. And definitely give a copy to who you wrote it for.
2006-07-23 15:29:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a nice sentiment but a little run-on and lacking a concise edge. There are some really interesting ideas, like bringing the sunset "back to you." Keep the gems and discard the rest. Like great photographers -- they don't just click a picture and get a great shot. They take hundreds of pictures and pick one that's really good.
2006-07-23 15:08:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its cool....it may sound better on top of some music. Wish i could hear the music and the voice. As a poem it isn't very sensual- that is, it doesn't have strong imagery....however, you sound like a passionate person with talent, so keep trying and don't let any thing anybody says in this format stop you from doing your thing.
2006-07-23 15:04:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep on writing as you grow so will your heart. More importantly put a patent on what you write the person that's telling you it's ok or alright is the one who will steal the poem and turn it into a song or $$$$$$$$$$$$.
2006-07-23 15:12:04 · answer #4 · answered by blkbutrfly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's beautiful. Creates a sort of nostalgic feeling of summers past & a timelessness to it. As if this summer (in the poem)could last forever in one's memory & will.
2006-07-23 15:07:19 · answer #5 · answered by Nik 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this evening and o.k. are generic rhymes.Be unique like working example. you won't be in a position of assume me to act like a soldier My heart and strategies don't have the composure those are rhymes you do no longer oftentimes hear in songs. to truly commence information extra of what i'm speaking approximately study lyrics to Rap songs.i locate that rappers have the main unusual rhymes. don't get me incorrect i'm no longer into rap i'm into rock.yet rap i locate have the main suitable rhymes. Rhymes tend to make a track roll extra fluently.And unique rhymes cause them to extra exciting.if your mad at me for telling you this do no longer situation approximately it i went threw the comparable element.yet I have been given over it and found out the guy exchange into suitable and that i used his useful criticism
2016-10-08 06:12:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW - that one is really good! You're using a unique way of putting it and giving a glimmer of hope - that's awesome. That's better than alot of summer romance poems I've heard of.
2006-07-23 16:21:39 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its good... add a little... when I read it... I can hear the chorus echoing "just hold on to tonight" still needs work, but definitely a good start.
2006-07-23 15:12:00 · answer #8 · answered by mortilyn77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very good! Always express yourself no matter if people like it or not. It makes you feel good...doesn't it! Continue and continue to grow!
2006-07-23 15:07:05 · answer #9 · answered by MrsMagee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lovely...
2006-07-23 15:02:56 · answer #10 · answered by jake78745 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋