My husband chats on Porn forums and views on line porn...?

Question

How can I explain that this hurts me? I have talked to him about it twice and thought we had an understanding. I love him very much but this is putting a wedge in our relationship. We are very active sexually and have never put him off or had a "headache". I do not want to view porn with my husband, so please don't suggest that......

His computer was password protected but he did (without saying anything) take off the password. This made me feel better.

I have to travel for work and I hate leaving knowing he will be chatting in a porn forum and viewing porn on line while I am gone.

Answer 1

This is the same thing as cheating. Tell him it's porn or you. And mean it. Been there. Did it. Porn went away.

Answer 2

2

Answer 3

well, i am sorry for your problem, it is sad if you have a good marriage, and a good relationship with your husband,

I do not know your husband, or his feelings however, i know that porn, and they way you say his interest is, is addictive, and it doesnt just vanish, or at least for a long time,

The bad news in my opinion is before your husband had "THE PORN" and internet access, he had you,
Now he has both,
So in a way, your husband has a "MISTRESS" and probably does not think he is doing any wrong to you,,

Since you do not want to join him in watching and i do understand, however, he is offering you "TRUTH" big deal right? i do not suggest you throw away your choices, but maybe entertain the thought that sometimes you do join him "a little" and then he wont find a need to lie to you.....

i hope that you resolve your problem, i think that you both should have counseling...an the first thought that comes to mind is he may say "what"
You are making a big deal about nothing,
BUT YOU ARE NOT,,
do not ignore this, or dismiss this, because when your husband is involved in the porn and computer entertainment, he is not thinking of you, that is my argument for you.. he is thinking and getting excited about other females, and like it or not they are real live people, and slowly seducing him, and exciting him,,into probably even more,,, little steps turn into big steps..

IF YOU VALUE YOUR MARRIAGE, AND YOUR RELATIONSHIP,, YOU MUST GET A HANDLE ON IT NOW,
AS IT SEEEMS TO HAVE A HANDLE ON HIM

iF YOU ARE NOT COMMITED TO GOD (TOGETHER) there are so many distractions in life anyway, and this is one of the biggest and most serious.

Good luck,

Answer 4

The porn by itself isn't the thing to worry about. Many married men check out internet porn and have wonderful relationships. But chatting in internet porn rooms is a lot more unusual. I'm happily married and I look at adult material on the web. My wife knows and doesn't mind. But I would never consider chatting with other women, especially not in a porn chat room. That goes over the line. If I ever did that, my wife would have every reason to kick my *** goodbye. And if she ever did it, I'd do the same.

Talking in porn chat rooms is like having late night phone chats with strange women. And that's not cool.

Just one man's opinion. I hope everything works out for the best for you. Good luck.

Answer 5

You can do a lot of different things. First, try to figure out why it's occuring now. Is he unhappy sexually? Just because you have an active sex life, he might be missing something that he is getting from porn. Why do you get so upset that he is looking at porn? Are you jealous of the women? Do you feel betrayed? Make him try to understand your feelings. Then you can always play the revenge card, and ask him how he would react if you looked at porn or talked to men in chat forums.

I don't think looking at porn is wrong, but talking to women in forums is. You have to make him understand that it hurts you, but you have to figure out why it does, and what you both can do to fix it.

Answer 6

I know how you feel...just recently had the same problem with my husband. We have a very active sexlife...and have even offered to try anything new that he wants. But he still gets into the porn. He knows that I consider this cheating and have had very serious conversations about it. He has been trying to quit and lets me hold him accountable by checking his computer and where he has been online. Of course, you can't watch them while they're out where they have access to porn magazines,etc. Just let him know how you feel and give him a choice...you or the porn. Whether most guys see a woman's point of view on it or not, a good portion of women see this as cheating and very hurtful.

Answer 7

Again,COMMUNICATION is the key,and either he isn't listening or he doesn't care.I am hoping you can get through to him.He took off the password,yes,BUT there are ways to hide almost anything you want to.I hope your hubby isn't like that,and if he is,you don't need a hubby like that.Tell him again.And don't ever blame yourself with I never have a headache so...That's crap.IF you do have a headache,it's still no reason for him to go on with things.I don't care if my hubby looks at porn,but NO forums or chatting.that's when I'd stop the stuff.Porn is natural.Your hubby may be lonely while your away,and looking at porn,shouldn't hurt you.BUT if it does,then he needs to understand and hear you!!!The chatting,would be a NO!!Do NOT allow him to chat to females,while your away.That's asking for trouble.How would he feel if you did this stuff???Ask him that.Would it be okay if the roles where reversed and if when your away,at work,can you talk to strange men on line and look at porn??Good luck and just give it another try and try to make him see and feel what you see and feel.

Answer 8

You need to insist that he quit, or you will leave. It doesn't make a healthy relationship. I am not a Bible thumper, or a feminist (in fact I am a married guy) so I don't have an axe to grind here. It just isn't right. He should be attracted to you. Maybe you can talk with him and find out what the two of you could do to spice things up.

On the other hand, if you're not having sex with him (or often enough) you may share some of the blame here.

Answer 9

He needs to get help from a professional counselor that specializes in Sexual Addictions. You or he cannot cure his problem, his problem started a long time ago, perhaps before he met you. Viewing porn is his way of dealing with his anxieties, it makes him feel better, it allows him to live in a fantasy world and it medicates the pain & suffering he may be experiencing.

My ex-husband left me and divorced me after 8 yrs of marriage b-c he could not handle the guilt and shame of his masturbation (15 yr addiction). He use to be a Christian but allowed his fleshly desires to rule him.

Try to encourage him to get professional help and you might need it too. Otherwise, you will always attract men like him. I am sorry you have this problem - it is painful and makes you feel betrayed and cheated on.

Answer 10

Well, marriage is all about trust. If he is just looking, that doesn't seem to be such a big problem. But chatting is different. If he loves you and respects you, and you told him it hurts you to know he does chat, then he should stop. If he doesn't stop, ask him how he'd feel if you went into a chat room full of guys and chatted them all up every evening. (I doubt he'd like it.) Tell him he needs to stop for the sake of your marriage. You want to be able to trust him and be the only women he "chats" with that way. If he doesn't respect your needs, he isn't very sensitive and I guess you need to get some counseling as to what to do next.

Answer 11

maybe you are very active with sex, but let me ask this, is always the same old thing?, Do you let him do anything with you he wants? I think not there must be something he is seeing that he likes that you will not do with him, try being more open to his needs, there is nothing dirty about sex between two people that are in love, and you may open a entire new side of your relationship, have you ever heard the old saying try it you may like it, or if you can't beat them join them, my point is no matter how active you are with him he is looking because the interest is in something you are not doing, if more couples would do this pron sites would close down and go away because noone would be looking at them.