me and my boyfriend are into bondage. when should i tell him to stop?
2006-07-23 14:04:30 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
You need to have a safety word, one that would not come up normally in sexual play. This word would be your signal to your boyfriend that you are uncomfortable, need to go to the bathroom, in pain, or for whatever reason you want him to stop.
2006-07-23 14:33:22 · answer #1 · answered by Speedo Inspector 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
The short answer is when you are ready to come out. Generally this means that you are feeling some kind of discomfort or numbness. You shouldn't let it go beyond the point where discomfort is more prominent than any pleasure otherwise derived, and definitely not to the point of numbness as that's the body's way of telling you that something is wrong. (You are either pressing on a primary nerve or disrupting the blood flow, neither of which is a good thing.)
Obviously when you reach this point is when you tell your boyfriend to let you out. In fact, he should be trusting you to tell him as he cannot determine you physical state unless it is fairly obvious. Similarly, you need to trust that he'll immediately stop what he is doing and let you out.
The idea of a safeword is that sometimes saying "Let me out" might be considered part of a roleplay. Using an odd term that is unlikely to come up otherwise but is easy to remember is a good idea. If you are being gagged, you should work out a short series of grunts that would act as a safeword.
The important thing is that everything, and I do mean everything, comes with the consent of both parties involved. Anything else is abuse and can damage or ruin the trust between the two of you. With that in mind, have fun!
2006-07-23 23:45:32 · answer #2 · answered by Ѕємι~Мαđ ŠçїєŋŧιѕТ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't do things you are not comfortable with. Use a safeword and talk a lot with your boyfriend about the things you like,
things you want to try and things you definitely don't want to do.
Talk before and after playing. Bondage and BDSM are 100% trust and you have to build up trust in the other partner.
Also: change roles once in a while, to get the feel of what the other person experiences.
2006-07-23 19:02:56 · answer #3 · answered by cordefr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whenever you are uncomfortable. That is the blessing and responsibility of being a sub. You are actually the one who is in control. You and your boyfriend should be discussing anything you do beforehand, and coming up with a safe word that you can use when you feel that you have really reached your limit. That is a word he has to comply with. My girlfriend and I use the phrase "thank you".
Always be clear when doing things like this. What do you both want to get out of it, is it purely for fun and play, or for something else? How serious are you guys about the lifestyle, or is it something that you do to spice things up?
There are a lot of great books and such out there. If nothing else, it would be great to read up on another aspect of life.
2006-07-23 16:15:00 · answer #4 · answered by Autumn BrighTree 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you enjoy it, or are you afraid something will happen; just play till you said stop, but in the other hand this might trigger stronger response.
2006-07-23 14:58:13 · answer #5 · answered by bigonegrande 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that to stop, talk to him, if he wants you and loves you he would understand
2006-07-24 12:16:47 · answer #6 · answered by Manny_T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After you look at this LOL
http://www.hillsdale.edu/personal/Westblade/pix/humor/KrispyKremeCalendar2001.jpg
http://www.hillsdale.edu/personal/Westblade/pix/humor/KrKr2005.jpeg
2006-07-24 04:39:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you find it boring and kinda moronic.
2006-07-23 14:30:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
a.s.a.p. you need to communicate, you two won't last if you can't talk!
2006-07-23 14:09:18 · answer #9 · answered by munkypoo1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋