Our problem is that he stresses over money and he feels that he can not be what I need him to be for me until our money is right, but I want to rekindle the love that we once shared before we had kids and I think things will be better for us. he's always so stressed about money, and meanwhile our relationship is going down the drain. we just recently split up, because I am going crazy missing him, plus we have a 3 year old daughter and a baby on the way that is due in october. I just want him to realize that our love for each other is what is most important, and if we don't have that, then everything else is just kind of meaningless to work on together besides our kids. I just don't know what else to do, he says since we have kids that things have changed so we can't feel the way we used to before the kids came, and I do not agree, the kids just made me love him and miss the way things were even more.he also feels that my family is against him, but they are not. what to do?
2006-07-23 13:55:44 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
pay for counseling, it will make your financial situation worse but it will give you both coping skills that you guys don't have.
2006-07-23 13:58:26 · answer #1 · answered by thom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only think i can u is that men are a tripp. They come up the bull s@#$ excuse. As far as having kids it does change things but not to the point that the relationship should change. And as far as him stressing about money is normal for a man exspecailly when thay have a family to provide for but can't find a decent job to to be able take care of things. All u can do is talk to him with auguring and express how u feel about him and etc. in the mean time try not to stress ur self out and worry to much because u are pregnant. Take care of ur self and good luck
2006-07-23 21:07:25 · answer #2 · answered by SEXXYDARKCHOCO 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you two have already talked about things and cannot at this juncture come to terms about your relationship with each other. Counseling would be a good thing to consider at this point. I know money is a factor but there has to be some affordable counseling somewhere! Check around on line to see what might be available or look in the yellow pages. Anyone can suggest a lot of things you could do but who really knows what is the solution here? I am sincerely hoping that you both can come to terms for the sake of the future of your relationship and for the sake of the children who need both of their parents in their lives in this uncertain day and age. The best of luck to you both!
2006-07-23 21:06:28 · answer #3 · answered by December Princess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are married then work at the relationship. Find out if the issue really is finances or if it's that he no longer loves you. If you are not married yet, I would say give it some time, but not too much. If he doesn't come around soon then let him go. If he is capable of leaving you when you are pregnant and with a 3 year old then he seriously lacks integrity...and seems to be very selfish.
2006-07-23 21:02:25 · answer #4 · answered by kim 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check out Dave Ramsey site about the total money make over: http://www.daveramsey.com/ and focus on getting out of debt and building your financial future.
Money problems can be solved and should not be the bases for destroying this family. Let him know that you are willing to work with him to with the money situation. Let him know that it is very important, more than money or what other family members think, that the children have their father with them.
2006-07-23 21:00:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Difficult one...i`ve a new family to, pressures of modern living are, i think getting harder by the day, money tight, too many people are spending on things the can neither afford or whats worse need. we all need to take a long look at our selves and get back to basics, before we all loose control....not the best answer perhaps...
2006-07-23 21:04:33 · answer #6 · answered by Ali-j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, thats a tuff one,,,tell him how much you love him, and how much the kids love him,,,,tell him you'd love him even if you all were durt poor,,, and that how much he loves his family and not how much money he makes, is what measures him as a man. Remind him your kids were created because of the love the 2 of you shared...and that love will live in them and their children for years to come,,and that is worth more money than even the Trump has. Tell him HE is priceless to you. And that he is wasting his time and energy and life, worring about money...
Remind him not everyone is lucky enough to have someone to love them as much as you love him. I don't. Fight for him.
2006-07-23 21:03:55 · answer #7 · answered by smt1967 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This man is using money, the children etc. as excuses to leave. Let him. You have children that are depending on you to be strong and you owe them that. Let them see they have a mother who will not continue to grovel and beg a man to say with her. Make sure you go to legal aid and get child support.
***if you insist and staying with this man, do your whole family a favor and make him wear a condom.
2006-07-23 20:59:07 · answer #8 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be open & honest with him, love him with all your heart, be patient with him, and tell him how you feel. Everything else will fall into place. Good luck!
2006-07-23 20:59:08 · answer #9 · answered by josievan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow...i feel for you, tell him exactly what you just wrote here, hopefully he will realize the value of his family. money is not everything.
2006-07-23 21:00:12 · answer #10 · answered by sweetien2boys 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋