My boyfriend wants a baby iam not ready
i am 18 yrs.And were not even married he says
he wants a baby real bad to make him happy.I am not afraid of having a baby i love babys. I just thind i am to young and i have other things planned in my life. He doesnt understand that. He thinks i don't want to have a baby cause i don't love him. How do i make him understand
2006-07-23 13:49:22 · 37 answers · asked by SMILEY 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
You don't need to make him understand, stick by your decison. This baby will be your main responsibility, what if he gets tired of being responsible and leaves? Then your stuck being unable to reach your goals.
2006-07-23 13:53:55 · answer #1 · answered by Lisa N 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
If he really loved you, and wanted to have a baby with you - you would have received an engagement ring by now.
But, he's not really ready. A lot of people want a baby, because they see the wonderful things about them the most. The cute little shoes, the outfits, the smiling, the coos...but what they fail to realize, is the reality of it. The paying for the costs of health care, diapers, the cute clothes. The staying up all night with a sick baby or a gassy one.
If he was really ready to have a baby, he would concentrate on his life first. Have a good job with a secure future, go to college and work hard to get a degree.
My guess is that he has some sort of psychological problems, possibly a fight with parents.
But regardless of what he's thinking - think of yourself. If there is no ring, no house, no future - then there should be no baby. Because you would be very young, with a baby, and he has every reason to take off if he wants to.
Just wait. Take it from a mother who started off as a teen mother. It's better for all, to wait. Wait until you're old enough, mature enough, financially secure enough.
Tell him that you love him, but you want to have a child in a stable life. After a wedding, after a career has been started. If he loves you, he'll understand. If he can't understand that - then he's not all there and you need to find someone else more emotionally secure.
2006-07-23 14:35:17 · answer #2 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How old is he? If he is 18 as well...then you are both way too young. He may be afraid of losing you and he thinks that if he gets you pregnant you won't leave him. Then again...if he is a lot older then you then I can understand why he wants a baby now. Bottom line...if you aren't ready don't do it. YOu will just end up unhappy and you will lose your youth. It will be hard for you to do all of the things that you want to do if you have a baby to care for. He needs to understand how expensive it is to have a baby. Do you or he have health insurance that would cover the cost of having a baby in the hospital??? And that will cover the cost of all of the MANY pre natal doctor appointments that you have to attend? Then you have to buy clothes, a crib and bedding, formula, diapers, take baby to dr. appts, get up at all hours of the night and day to feed the baby and comfort it. Does he really think he has the patience and money to have a baby right now? YOu should bring this stuff up to him. Sometimes when people have a baby too young it ends up killing their relationship. You should enjoy each other first, get married later on and then after being married for a year or so...have a baby. Being pregnant can also kill your sex life.
2006-07-23 13:54:32 · answer #3 · answered by S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mendacity just isn't a simply right to a marriage. The honourable thing to do is to inform him the reality, that you have not come off the tablet because you do not but think in a position. If you would supply him some kind of period of time, you then definately must. If he aren't competent to wait that lengthy, then you definately are not the correct lady and you mustn't marry him. Which you could most effective turn out to be divorced in case you are making him wait too lengthy. What do you ought to feel capable? Do some learning and spot should you could work on that. Do not need a youngster prior than you perhaps ready, considering the fact that you are going to easily resent it, and won't don't forget the happiness a brand new baby have got to give. I am hoping he can realise, nonetheless do not anticipate him to take it just right, to find out your fiance is lying about an trouble as tremendous as this is not going to be pleasant for him.
2016-08-09 03:19:00 · answer #4 · answered by custodio 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, a couple of things.
One, you have the right way of thinking. You're too young. You'll regret it later. Get some things done you'd like to do before you have a baby. Go to school, travel a little, whatever you want.
Two, if your boyfriend wants a baby to make him happy, he wants a baby for the wrong reasons. You have to be happy with yourself first before you can have a baby. Taking care of a baby is exhausting and frustrating and time-consuming. It's wonderful too, don't get me wrong, but it's a LOT to handle. And any guy who says "if you love me, you'll give me a baby" really needs to grow up first. His way of thinking is ALL wrong.
Talk to him, and try to communicate how you feel. If he still doesn't get it after a few talks, then he may not be the one for you. If he really loved you, and he was serious about making a family with you, he'd start investing his time in you. I.E. getting married, getting a house together, etc. A baby would mess a lot of things up for you guys right now. He needs to mature a little before he's ready.
2006-07-23 13:57:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A baby is a big commitment, if he really wants one, and you really love him and he loves you, I suggest you get married first. Not because of any religious reasons or anything, but that baby will be a lot on you if things should fall out between you and your boyfriend. If he is unhappy now, a baby will not fix things. It usually complicates things even more. I think he needs to find peace with himself first before bringing a child into the world. You have to have financial stability as well. That baby will cost quite a bit to have and to raise. Think about it long and hard, if you go through with it, good luck to you.
2006-07-23 13:55:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I can say that you can't make him understand. If you think that you are too young then you are. I think that you will know when you are ready and don't give in until then. If you loose your boyfriend think of it as being for the better. He must not respect you if he keeps bothering you for something you are not ready for. I am 22 and pregnant with my second child. I got pregnant with my daughter when I was 21. That is even young but I was ready and married. My whole ambition in life was to become a mom and a wife. If you have other ambitions complete them first because you will end up regretting that you didn't and end up resenting him in the longrun.
2006-07-23 14:05:23 · answer #7 · answered by h05ellasmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if he really loves you, he can wait. He evidentally doesn't really seem to care about you, this seems to be all one-sided, with him being the one wanting the baby to make him happy. He doesn't seem to care about your plans. If he loves you, he'll get over it. Once you have the baby, will he support it or run away? Will he help you with all the expensense or not? He's not the one going to go through all the stuff that women go through for a 9 month period. Personally, I think he's being selfish and stubborn. Have him put on one of those things that men can wear, that lets them feel like they're pregnat. He may change his mind.
2006-07-23 13:56:32 · answer #8 · answered by jazzdrummerdave 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's not called love honey, that's called conditional love. That means you have to do stuff so that your boyfriend will love you. He's saying he won't be happy unless you have his baby and that's very very wrong. It doesn't seem to me like he even cares about you really. Think of it this way: If he's not commited enough to marry you, then he's not commited enough to have a baby with you. First you're going to have his baby to make him happy, then after awhile he won't be happy and he'll want you to do something else for him so he can "be happy" and then after awhile it'll be another thing and really he's just using you. Please, do not have his baby, and please, stay away from guys like that---that's how women end up on welfare with kids, beaten, abused, and even dead sometimes. I know you're saying "that'll never happen to me" but really, it already is.
2006-07-23 13:57:15 · answer #9 · answered by BeeFree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dontlet your bf make you do something you are not ready for. He's feeling insecure, and he's looking for some validation. Either way, having a baby is not an answer, u r too young, even if u r married, it's a bit early.
2006-07-23 13:54:54 · answer #10 · answered by newyorker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mendacity in basic terms isn't a in basic terms suitable start to a marriage. The honourable area of do is to tell him the reality, which you haven't any longer come off the pill with the aid of fact which you do no longer yet think of in a position. in case you need to grant him some form of quantity of time, then you ought to. If he are no longer waiting to attend that long, then you are not the nicely suited lady and you need to no longer marry him. you are able to maximum effectual become divorced in case you're making him wait too long. What do you need to sense clever? do a little examining and notice in case you need to artwork on that. don't desire a infant in the previous than you would be waiting, with the aid of fact you are going to easily resent it, and could no longer evaluate the happiness a sparkling teenager ought to grant. i'm hoping he can understand, despite if do no longer assume him to take it sturdy, to make certain your fiance is mendacity approximately an worry as extensive as this would possibly not be good for him.
2016-10-08 06:09:21 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋