im 19 i have no mom or dad
i live with my sister shes 34
she has 3 kids a husband
my brother that is 32 lives here to , he has no job
my sister screams and yells all the time
she never asks me how i am
they ask me for money and to pay rent but my brother has no job , no money
i have always not liked her husband
i feel like a stranger in my own house
im more comfterble at my boyfriends house
i hate being here ever since i was 10
should i save up for my own car and move out with my boyfriend?
what should i do
2006-07-23 13:24:43 · 14 answers · asked by lovesugarkisses 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
yeh already got a job now i need the car lol
2006-07-23 13:28:03 · update #1
You are in a Gold Mine ! You will ask me why I'm saying so when you describe a situation as eccentric as your situation. This situation is one that can and will have long term health problems if you are not careful.
The sooner you can get out of there the better, but use your head and not your emotions in making a wise decision such as that. What i mean by being in a Gold Mine is this.
Seeing how your family and all live. This is some thing that can happen to you if you happen to choose the wrong guy and have to live like that. Save your money for a car and in renting an apartment without your ( Boy Friend's ) help in case things don't work out with you two in the future.
I don't know the history of you and your boyfriend as well as what he have done for you in the past and may be continuing to do as in the present. I made the above statement of ( having your own place ) out of concern for your peace of mind and well being.
After having lived in a house which seems like you are on the front lines of some battle field with your family etc. You need time to sort things out and some ( personal space) to work things out.
You can live with your boyfriend, just be smart as this situation you are in presently is one of a good spring board to be prudent as from there on wards. You are living a House were you were tense for a long time and the out side world is not kind when you make certain mistakes.
At times we question why us to be in such a situation and my answer is that ( God don't give any one a burden he know they can't carry ).
You are 19 and there is a lot of surprise out there for you and you just be careful.
I hope my comments helped as i lived in a similar situation as yours
2006-07-23 14:08:52 · answer #1 · answered by Premio 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry.......sounds like you are ready to take the next step. You are 19 and you can move anytime you want. You need to save your money and start searching for an apt. etc. This won't be that easy due to you never renting, but they will ask for a larger deposit due to that. It is too bad you don't have a close girlfriend that you could move in with. Being on your own is a huge step and one that requires planning. You definately will need a vehicle of some kind, unless you are able to use the transit/bus system to go to and from work. The boyfriend......if he has never been out on his own either, this is a big step and can put a strain on your relationship......$ does cause many arguments. How is he with $....is he responsbile, does he have a job, does he really want to do this? In the meantime.......work, save, plan.......try to stay away as much as possible (they need to get used to the idea of you not being there anyway). How about checking into some type of career schooling, this will be your stepping stone to financially taking care of yourelf. There are student loans and you could live in a dorm, which would be part of tuition from the student loan. I would try and make myself as independent as possible, so that you won't ever end up somewhere you don't want to be. I don't know the situation of you not having a mother and father, but your sister could be very overwhelmed with all of the responsibility she has had. Try to sit down and talk with just her and take time to see how she feels. I have to give her credit for taking care of her siblings for such a long time......she stepped in and has been trying to be your parent and sister.
2006-07-24 04:31:56 · answer #2 · answered by Geez Louise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hated living in my house while my dad had cancar .there was always tension and arguing. plus I hated to see my father suffer.So to get away I walked around the neibhoorhood and hung out with my neibhoors. That took some tension off my shoulders. And since I was away all the time being home did'nt seem so bad . I did'nt feel like I was in the way all the time because I was always out. In the end I was closer to my father. And when he died I was upset but the loss of him somehow brought us together. Just walk the block. Or keep a journal .I have for 5 years all in notebooks. Its a release of what I feel an dwant to really say to people. It calms me down . Try it
2006-07-23 13:33:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends whether the house you live in is your own, that is left to your sister and you by your parents. If you live in your sister's house then she can dictate the rules.
You have two choices: Learn to like her rules or move out.
Moving out is not always a possibility so do the necessary to create a home for yourself. Be careful not to end up in a worse
situation than the one you find yourself now. Living with boyfriends is an unknown. Best to be your own boss.
2006-07-23 13:29:58 · answer #4 · answered by flugelberry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move out as soon as you can. It doesn't have to be with your boyfriend, it can be by yourself or with another room mate. Unless you are sure you want the commitment that comes along with living with your boyfriend, that's almost a whole other question. Moving out will give you the opportunity to create a space for yourself that feels like your home and how you want it to be without all the drama, it will be much healthier for you too. Good Luck!
2006-07-23 13:28:50 · answer #5 · answered by wellbeing 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I assume you have a job. Rent an affordable apartment and make it your own heaven. Nothing better than having your own place. Moving in with your bf is not a good idea at all. What if you break up with him? He will throw you out, then you are homeless again.
2006-07-23 13:28:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, Get a job, a car, and move the heck out. Sounds like a nightmare.
2006-07-23 13:27:00 · answer #7 · answered by annastasia1955ca 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't have the bad situation that you have, but I left home to join the Air Force. Being on your own will give you confidence. Joining the military will provide food, clothing, a place to sleep, and teach you a skill.
2006-07-23 13:30:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask yourself what the truly smart thing to do would be. do that thing. you may end up moving out and getting a place of your own or moving in with roommates. how about looking into going to college and making something great of yourself.
boyfriends are great (i like girlfriends myself) but they aren't going to give you a degree in anything.
2006-07-23 13:42:34 · answer #9 · answered by thom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a job save some money buy/rent a house/apartment and move out!
2006-07-23 13:35:03 · answer #10 · answered by Chevy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋