My boyfriend & I have been together for 12 yrs. We have a son, & are still very much in love. However, in the past 2 months I met a girl that think I am in love with. I think about her all the time. When I am around her I just want to spend all the time talking to her & looking at her. I have told my boyfriend about my feelings & he is supportive. He has told me that if I am bisexsual there is nothing that I can do about it and that he is cool with it. Here's the problem. I don't know if she feels the same about me. There have been some subtle hints that make me think that she does but I just don't know. Secondly, not only do we work in the same place, but she is my subordinate, so things could get complicated. If I express my feelings & she does not share the same feelings, I could lose my job- sexual harrassment. Heck I could even lose my job if she feels the same & we develop a relationship & people find out. I have never felt this way about a woman before. What should I do?
2006-07-23 13:04:14 · 16 answers · asked by reneelost 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Try to develop a friendship with her. Maybe you can include her in family gatherings. You can become her mentor.
Sublimate, sublimate.
Keep the positive energy, keep the friendship, don't necessarily act on the sexual feelings.
2006-07-23 13:09:08 · answer #1 · answered by lrad1952 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Is it just a crush or do you really think you want to pursue a relationship with her? It may just be infatuation that we all experience when we first meet someone we are very interested in. 99% of the time, the infatuation subsides and we move onto another infatuation.
You mention that you are worried that if people find out, you could be charged with sexual harrassment. Well, unfortunately, people WILL find out.
You should think about whether you want to give up on your 12 year relationship to pursue a relationship with someone you have only known for two months. If you do go this route, you should leave your job so that you don't have to worry about sexual harrassment.
Therefore, you may have a couple major life changes all for this relationship.
It is up to you, it is about risk assessment. It could be possible that this woman is your soul mate, however, it could also be possible that she just feels comfortable around you.
Let things play out a while longer while you assess this major decision.
Good luck and be careful!
2006-07-23 13:19:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the best way to go about the situation, is if you and a group of coworkers go out together, and see if you can get any information out of her, about her personal life, in a nonabrasive manner. You need to see where your priorities are at this point in your life. Naturally your boyfriend is going to be okay with you being bisexual, because it's every heterosexual man's fantasy. Also if you end up falling in love with a woman, while you're with him, he may then dislike the fact that you're bisexual because you're tampering with the Psyche of his manhood. I just say find out in the most discreet way, if she is gay or bisexual and then take if from there. Once you find out more information about her, and she feels comfortable, you both will give each other obvious hints, that you're into each other. But don't think too far in to the future about your job, you haven't crossed that bridge yet.
2006-07-24 08:48:25 · answer #3 · answered by graciefaith1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being bisexual does not mean you have the right to cheat, that just gives bisexuals a bad name of the unloyal crap. Don't cheat on your boyfriend. If you want to break up with him to find out if you like this woman ok, but you can only be with one of them at a time. Also you're not in love with her if you don't even really know her, that's just a crush or lust. Get your facts straight.
2006-07-23 17:17:15 · answer #4 · answered by MindStorm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that you're confused with the differant types of love.
i dont remember the greek terms but you are in love but not the love society today makes it out to be. you have the love between two women as life long friends, not a married couple. my best advice to you is just be friends with her and it seems like you can be deeply, emotionally connected life long friends but not a couple. stay with your boyfriend but still stay friends with, whats her name.
2006-07-23 13:25:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you've got nothin to lose - I am having a run with my heart right now for someone who I don't know loves me back or not but I took the chance and we shall see where things will go - have no fear.
2006-07-23 14:05:47 · answer #6 · answered by love earth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is short remember that. Do what makes you happy. But be sure it could be just a sex thing, try it out before you burn all your bridges.
2006-07-23 13:07:55 · answer #7 · answered by Father 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anything that gets more girl on girl love in this world is ok by me
2006-07-23 13:31:27 · answer #8 · answered by michael_gdl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i personally dont really agree w/ relationships of the same sex but i would say that if ur bf doesnt have a prob w/ it then i guess u should tell her about ur feelings.....good luck
2006-07-23 13:17:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah it's nto worth loosing a friendship or getting as law sut i would say find other women out there if you are bi sexual.
Thats nice that your boyfriend can accept that
2006-07-23 13:07:40 · answer #10 · answered by Coxie Megan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋