He always hung out at night,then i was hearing he was cheating on me by my a co-worker who had hung out with him.My husband said he never cheated on me,even though I was seeing condoms in his wallet when he was asleep.I always wanted to spend time with him,but he never wanted to,so thats when i met a friend,it's not like i was looking for one,he happen to be their when i was going through.I know I was wrong,because he said he worked and all I did was sit home.He caught us on the phone and he went to jail for fighting me,and spend alot of money to get out of jail and we had to go to counseling,but it seem like the marriage is not right.
2006-07-23 11:19:12 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm sorry that you are experiencing a bad marriage but unfortunately you are now just as wrong as he is. First off you don't have definite proof that he was cheating but you know for sure that you did. Even if he did, what gives you the right to cheat in your marriage. He is definitely wrong for doing it, too, if that is the case, but just like you he had his reasons in his mind which made it ok. One wrong doesn't make another. You should have worked on the marriage and if you were done then you should have moved on without stooping to his level. At this point, I think you are both cheaters, instead of looking at you and saying you are an honorable person who was being mistreated by her husband. With that all said, don't think I don't feel for you. From what you are saying, it sounds like he is totally mistreating you and if you are ready to move on, you should. You should definitely, not allow him to cheat on you and physically harm you. NO ONE deserves that and if he is unable or unwilling to change, I am sure you can find someone else who will treat you better. I belive in the sanctity of marriage and advise against taking it lightly. But I have no idea about the efforts you have both taken or not towards making it work. I am not sure how you both interact, but if you are willing to try then I recommend continuing with marriage counseling and getting help that way, but if you decide to move on I would recommend that you talk to an individual counselor or at least rally the support and advice of your family and friends. Good luck and I hope it all works out.
2006-07-23 11:37:56 · answer #1 · answered by GP 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, lets look at the big picture. You thought he was cheating. He wasn't home and had condoms in his wallet. You found some one else (not actually looking at the time). Your husband went to jail for beating you up. You both went to counseling and the marriage is not right. That pretty well sums up your story, doesn't it? I am missing something that might be keeping you with your husband? Do you love each other? Are there children involved? I don't think any woman should stay with a man who has either beaten or hit her. If you can't find a really good reason to stay you should get out fast for your own safety!
2006-07-23 18:42:09 · answer #2 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel like you're in a loveless marriage--and no offense, but it sounds like it (otherwise neither of you would ever consider cheating on one another)--then adultery isn't the answer. At least get a divorce, ya know? Didn't you make a vow before God when you got married? Why does this not mean anything to anyone anymore? It must be hard if you think he has cheated on you first, and if he did then that is a horrible thing, but marriage is suppose to be a holy sacriment. If you're not religous, then you can at least admit that marriage is serious enough an issue to entail the legal system.
2006-07-23 18:26:38 · answer #3 · answered by ak47_girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THE MARRIAGE IS NOT RIGHT????????????????
YOUR KIDDING, SOUNDS LIKE YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND ARE NOT RIGHT. first of all it doesnt just happen , he shouldnt be at a bar, at least not with out you , you should never be with any man when your feeling down, you might as well have an x on your forhead saying easy lay. you two act like 15 year olds and both of you are a waste of marriage counseling becuase you both went only becuase a judge said so. grow up you two are perfect for each other, so no one else gets stuck with this sick twisted life you two seem to enjoy..... oh and btw you both are w.hores now have a nice day
2006-07-23 18:43:44 · answer #4 · answered by joe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you never should have married him in the first place. After having gone to counseling with him, you need to decide if this is how you want your marriage to be. He cheated on you before, he will cheat on you again. If he has hit you before, he will hit you again.
You should cut your losses and get out of the marriage. If the marriage seems like it is not right to you....it is not right. Good luck.
2006-07-23 18:28:16 · answer #5 · answered by Shanan D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
...hmmmm "the marriage doesn't seem right" ?????now there's a statement that tells it like it is. Obviously neither of you are happy in the marriage, do I even have to bring up the fact you said he was fighting with you and he went to jail?? I would hope not!
Get out of there as soon as possible!
2006-07-23 19:14:01 · answer #6 · answered by sammy22005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree that if the marriage counseling hasn't worked you need to get out of this dangerous relationship...you are just hurting each other.
If at all possible I suggest starting a physical relationship with a black man or your husband's brother or dad.
2006-07-23 18:27:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Temptation is always there for us. It was your job to resist it. Your adultery is most wretched and you should make amends to your husband sincerely. Try to make your marriage work. "Until death do you part." If he can't stand the sight of you, you can separate, but neither of you can ever marry another.
God bless you. Keep praying for guidance in this difficult situation.
2006-07-23 18:48:50 · answer #8 · answered by oremus_fratres 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that its wrong to cheat. i mean i know you feel bad, but maybe you should have gone to counseling in the first place. hope things are better.
2006-07-23 18:25:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say get a divorce that is a train wreck of a marraige and it will just get worse if you don't get out.
2006-07-23 18:23:57 · answer #10 · answered by Biker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋