lately my married sister came to me with a problem.. her husband is very intelectual and well informed about almost anything .. for instance he knows all the capitals and huge cities and history of even un-known small countries ..
she is very smart and well educated but has another interests (art, music , reflexology)
she feels she can't interest him (since he knows almost everything ) .. what should i tell her ? she's starting to suffer from low self esteem , especially after gaining alot of weight
after giving birth to her first child
how can she look smart and interesting to her husband ?
please help me help her ...
2006-07-23 11:06:17 · 8 answers · asked by rahaf 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get counseling for her. If she (and you too for that matter) feels interesting to her husband or men only because of how much she knows, or weighs, or how she looks, (or how her hair is done) she is leaning on the wind. Men aren't looking for encyclopedias. My goodness, we have Encarta. Men are looking for a mate to help get through life. Help her feel good about herself deep down inside.
2006-07-23 11:43:45 · answer #1 · answered by DelK 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like she *might* be suffering from depression... Did her husband give her a reason to believe that he doesn't find her interesting? Knowing all the capitals doesn't make one "smart" or "interesting" in and of itself; sounds like she has a lot to contribute to this relationship, knowledge-wise - it's just she's not perceiving it this way. Maybe, she's getting tired of the routine - is she a stay-at-home mom? Weigt gain can be put inder control with some motivation, but it seems she may be lacking this motivation. I can't say for sure, but she may benefit from consulting a doctor about possible depression problems.
2006-07-23 18:17:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hes so smart hes actually stupid. He has great book smarts but has no knowledge of everyday living. These are tow distinctly different things. Now your sister is quite the opposite of him. He is the type of guy who really has no idea of what he has or how to deal with it til its gone. Your sister can only live life for herself, be herself and dont worry about Mr Encyclopedia. Someday he will educate himself in dealing with peopleor lose his family and friends. She can never get thru to him as hes thinking hes some kind of macho man and no one will ever tell him otherwise. These guys have to learn lifes lessons the hard way and on their own terms. Tell her not to lower herself to his level, because he will never listen to her and she will just depress herself. In actual reality, shes smarter than he will ever be cause she knows how to deal with life and the only real thing hes good for is a TV show like Jeopardy and then stage fright would probably take over and he wouldnt remember a thing. Dont ever change for him, let him change for her! Good luck
2006-07-23 18:22:51 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He did marry her. So there's some interest. Has she tried talking to him about it? Maybe he doesn't want her to be an intellectual. It seems he has to put that face on all the time, so it might be nice for him just to come home to an ordinary girl. She could try getting interested in some of the stuff he's into.
2006-07-23 18:16:10 · answer #4 · answered by Uncertain Soul 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should quit trying to compete with her husband. Maybe if she worked out a few times a week she would feel better and lose some weight.
2006-07-23 19:09:22 · answer #5 · answered by sweetie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get her to go to the gym and start eating better- to get past that low self-esteem. Then she can tell Mr Smarty pants to lay off or her hot A$$ will be finding a new man!!!
2006-07-23 19:21:32 · answer #6 · answered by sammy22005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is over compensating. Maybe he feels he can't talk to her. They should find commpn interest.
2006-07-23 22:05:05 · answer #7 · answered by Mavey D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She did something he couldnt do- had a kid!
2006-07-23 18:17:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋