What should I do am I going crazy?

Question

Am I going crazy?

I feel like I have lost control of myself over this girl. I find myself having to fight myself not to call her. We were together for 2 years she spoke of marriage and things like that and I have never put myself out there to someone like this before. Now I am a mess. Whats the best way to get through this would counseling help? I just do not want it to effect me this bad in the long run. I feel as though I am not getting any younger and I cant stand the bar scene so I am screwed. How do I maintain? We have been going through hell for 6 months when she cheated now I feel like a damn fool. I just cant get her out of my head.

Thanks for the answers. Its just been such a long drawn out thing I feel emotionally drained from the whole thing. I will just keep away from her and worry about making myself a better person. Thats all I can do.

Answer 1

do things that distract you , maybe practice a sport .. go to the gym , take walks , go out with Friends .. the more you find yourself alone the more you'll be thinking about her ..good luck

Answer 2

First of all don't call her it will make things worse for you both. Every woman talks of marriage sometimes its a test to see how the guy will react and sometime an attempt to drive the guy away. If you feel you need to go to counseling then maybe you should but i don't think you will be told anymore then you cant meet a chick at a bar anyways and there is someone else out there for you it just takes time to find that special some one and most of the time it is when you least expect it.. I have been engaged a couple times but none of the relationships ever lasted. Now i am with someone who i met through a friend i met online and we have been together for over 2 years now and we have talked about the whole marriage thing but its not like i expect it to happen.. I believe if a woman loves a man enough she will stick with him even if it doesn't come to that and all women cheat at some point.. it normally happens when she feels neglected or even sometimes its just when the sex dies down and she wants to feel that closeness again.

Answer 3

My thought, if she cheated on you once, she will do it again and needs to be history. I have a friend who cheated on his g/f and that is constantly interfering in their relationship. The trust is gone. I couldn't tell if you two were still together, but if you aren't, and are trying to get over her, then you need to find some new hobbies. The world isn't over just because you are single. No idea how old you are, but there is always a chance you'll find a better match. There are services out there (such as eharmony) that pair you up with someone perfect. Just don't rush into anything. Find some hobbies (not women) and go find out who you are. Fix yourself, be happy with you and then work on a relationship. You can never make someone else happy if you are not happy yourself. If you feel you need counseling.. then go for it. A few co pays might be money well spent. Good luck, hang in there, and don't forget that tomorrow is always a new day!

Answer 4

Hopefully you realize that you can't change her. It sucks that she led you on, but at the same time maybe she genuinely felt that way at the time, it just seems to have ended with lies and deception. Counseling probably would help.
Unfortunately when you have been cheated on by someone you have some guilty feelings, but the fact is there is nothing you can do. If someone is the type that will cheat and you're the type that won't put up with it, hopefully you had a good time with her in the interim. I truely believe that if you did then whatever time you had together was worth it, whether or not in the long run it lasts.

Answer 5

I see this is the second post on this problem in the last couple of hours. I know you're hurting Bud! It really does feel like you are loosing your mind, you feel as if you just need to do somthing to make it stop.......to make things better, different.....just something. Is that right? Ok......I know that feeling, it's gotten me into trouble more than once and it will in the long run only bring you more agoney in the future. All the people in here have given you some good advice. Stay busy. Work, play and sleep as much as you can. It would be best if you can work things out in your mind and strengthen your resolve NOT to contact her anymore. Trust me......this is not an easy thing to do, maybe the hardest thing in your life to date. Let me try to explain something to you........something that I learned while in councilling. I learned that what you might percieve as love might just be a "ownership" thing. She was your stuff and you can't bare to part with "your stuff"........it belongs to you. I know somehow in your mind, you are picturing a loving re-union with all being forgiven, her cheating and the angry ugly words that were spoken while you both were hurting, and that might happen but it is very unlikely. You might get past this event, but it will never be forgotten. It will always be between you. I am a survivor of this type of relationship. I finally gave up after about 20 years of this type of relationship.......I hope that somewhere you can find the strength to move on before that much time has passed for you. I feel like I'm just jibber-jabbering here, but there really is a message in it for you. Just look inside past the pain and see what's really in your head........YOU know what's best! Post us and let us know how you are holding up. ~Sincerely~ Pam

Answer 6

Since she cheated on you, you can't marry her. Women only do this when they have lost all respect for you. They will still hang around for a bit afterward, but only to exploit you. Eventually, they will leave. Expect tons of abuse (as in the person is an abuser) before that happens.

You've lost control of the relationship and it is unlikely you can get it back. That means, she will find it easy to push you into things that are far outside your best interest. You SHOULD just use her for sex until you have a replacement lined up. That would be appropriate behavior. But, you can't do that.

So you need to dump her. Things will suck majorly until you replace her. But, once you do, you will wonder what the heck you were ever thinking. If you choose not to be monogamous with the next one and, instead, date several women at once (you don't have to tell them about each other but they will respect you more if you do), this will never happen again.

Answer 7

Get counseling!! It's hell but it will get better. Been there, done that, got the T shirt. Counseling will help a LOT especially group therapy. You're lucky you can't stand the bar scene--that's NO place to find a mate. Churches in larger areas often have singles groups. Get cracking to a counselor.

Answer 8

Time really does take care of these things. Meanwhile, get an exercise regimen going, keep busy & don't rush into a rebound relationship. It won't last & 2 people may end up getting hurt.
Talk to your friends. Good luck!

Answer 9

Let me first say I have been there ! Let me also say a cheater is always a cheater! You need to move ahead,start going for walks/jogs .You never know who you will meet where.Grab a coffee and a paper sit somewhere.There are singles everywhere.Keep your eyes open because you never know wher eyou may catch a eye of someone.It is difficult when a relationship ends,but someone who would cheat,hurt you like that is a scumbag!Remind yourself of that.You are going to meet someone else I know it!!!

Answer 10

I would suggest counseling, yes. It can help you sort out your feelings and get you going again. Lots of people have a hard time with things like this. Try it. I bet it will help.

Answer 11

Well, I figure you are going to have to figure out just how crazy you will allow yourself to get. Think of it this way: will you be more crazy with her and having to worry about her cheating on you or will you be more crazy trying to forget and get over her?
Come on, there are so many women out there just looking for a man to love. Why go crazy over ONE unfaithful chick? No woman is worth all that, believe me!