BASIC INFO
My boyfriend and i have been together for a little under 3 months. I'm 16 and have always been a goodgirl very conservative and moral. I have always wanted to wait till marriage to have sex.
He is 18 and has no morals. I have started partying with him but i know my limits on things. He always tries to get me to have sex with him, saying my morals r dumb.
LAST NIGHT
I snuck out for the first time in my life to go to a house party with him. He gave me a big cup of vodka and told me to drink it all. I was more drunk than i have ever been in my life. I dont even remember a lot of last night!
All I know is when we went upstairs in a bedroom. He kept trying to push himself in me. im very tight luckily since i dont even use tampons and he couldnt get in much. I kept screaming that it hurt and to stop. what can i do now? i found drops of blood in my panties. he didnt go all the way in so im praying im still a virgin. I am so mad at him & myself i just wanna die! please help
2006-07-23 10:45:29 · 35 answers · asked by misomeow 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well sweetie I want to first say don't feel bad about what happened just learn from it meaning don't do everything some one ask you to do even if you feel you love them. It's ok to feel how ever you feel, but try not to let those feelings consume you, and then try to move on. As for the virgin part it depends on what you call being a virgin. Some people call being a virgin means you have never had sexual intercourse, and some people call being a virgin means you still have in intact hymen. A hymen is the thin layer of skin that is in your vagina that can only be broking by sexual intercourse or just have something go wrong like hitting yourself on the bar of a bicycle. So it is up to you to determine what your definition is. Your hymen is very close to the entrance of your vagina a man can probably touch it with just the head of his dick so while you did not have full penetration he could have broken through your hymen, and if you feel like not having an intact hymen known by some people as "popping that cherry" as not being a virgin then sweetie in your eyes you are not a virgin, but I will say once you have had full deep penetration that's when you are no longer a virgin. I will wrap this up by saying while it my feel real uncomfortable your first time it's not suppose to be unbearable pain, and you are not suppose to bleed unless this person is inexperienced, and just trying to shove his self in you. If you let a man do that to you on your first time then your first time will be meaningless, and you will have spotting and discomfort for a few days after that first time. No matter what you decide make sure your real first time is with someone who cares enough about you to take their time when it comes to penetrating you.
Last, but not least make sure he wears a condom you don't want to get pregnant or get an STD your first time do you.
2006-07-23 11:09:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hey, I'm so sorry to hear all this. You must be feeling terrible. Your boyfriend is a bloody jerk!! He shouldn't have gotten you so drunk to get you into bed. It's as good as raping since it happened against your will and you are still a minor!! But you're in fault too. If you are so conservative and have strong morals, why did you sneak out? And given you did why did you decide to drink when you know you weren't even suppose to be there? Under age drinking is called illegal for a reason. At this age you can do so stupid things under the influence of alcohol. So its best to wait till you are 21 to start drinking again. About last night I still think you are a virgin since you said he didn't go in all the way. First time is always painful though. But it depends, some women bleed and some don't so the drops of blood can mean anything. Try not to think too much about what happened and take it as a lesson. Forget that so called bf of yours and move on. Wait till you find someone who respects your morals and you as a person. Take care and God bless!
2006-07-23 11:07:39 · answer #2 · answered by miss_gorgyus 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he can't value your morals then he isn't in love with you. If he loved you he wouldn't have tried to question your morals. Plus, he is a coward for getting you drunk and trying to seduce you. I hope that you understand that all you need is a tear in your hymen to get pregnant and semen lives for up to 48 hours. You could have gotten pregnant or you could have gotten and STD or worse yet AIDS. I know that it sounds harsh but it is true.
I think that you should tell your parents what happened and realize that you are partially at fault here too. The first thing you did wrong was to sneak out with him; that gave him the incorrect assumption that if you accidentally had sex with him after you got drunk, it wouldn't matter to you as much. Your "NO" sounded like a "maybe" to him because you went against your morals and sneaked out with him.
Let your parents know that your decision to remain a virgin may have been compromised and go see a doctor. Better that you be safe than sorry. What your beloved boyfriend of three whole months has done constitutes as a case of rape. No means no in any language. I pray that you are alright both physically and mentally.
We all make mistakes. The first step you have to take is owning up to your responsibility and then accepting your own apology. Your parents love you and want the best for you...trust them.
2006-07-23 11:01:22 · answer #3 · answered by gmommy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes...attempted rape. Honey, stop the illegal drinking and dump this dumb-as$ idiot and so called boyfriend. He has no respect for you or anyone else. He's selfish and just wants his way regardless. I would say you are still a virgin. If you want to keep it that way, stop playing around with fire...you will get burned. Tell your parents and have him arrested...or do you want this to happen to another girl?
2006-07-23 10:49:47 · answer #4 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh honey! i'm SO sorry that happened! you need to get rid of him quick, he's 18, your not, and what he did was rape. if he disrespects you (especially like that) then he is NOT for you. and don't be too hard on yourself...you made a bad choice in getting drunk like that, but he shouldn't have pressured you. dump him and get over him fast. go out with some nice boys your age who respect you. i really hope the next guy is a good one.
-sienna-bo-bana
2006-07-23 10:53:55 · answer #5 · answered by from3ndto3nd 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well listen everyone makes mistakes so dont blame urself and u should def break up with him because he doesnt care about u
next time go with a friend to and just be happy he didnt go all the way and even if he did u know in ur heart ur a virgin
2006-07-23 10:51:35 · answer #6 · answered by ridgelladmin04@sbcglobal.net 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well....You better hope that all that pushing and shoving didnt lead to him ejaculating in you....You are not a virgin...and you may become pregnant!!
Ummm lets go over your choices again??? No Morals...drinker....Party person...Rapist????
Boy girl you sure can pick-em!!
If I were you I would get started on finding a mobile home in a trailer park know for its trampy women....and learn how to troll for hundred dollar bills from lonely old men.
2006-07-23 10:50:34 · answer #7 · answered by werk2much2000 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well its no other way to look at it. He raped you sweetie. You need to alert the authorities and he is too old for you, your still a minor. Your in the wrong too though. You drank a glass of liquor even though you knew he wanted sex and you knew you couldn't drink. You know your underage. You need to use common sense and that wasn't it.
2006-07-23 10:53:49 · answer #8 · answered by truthbetold 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You were raped, you need to tell your parents, and be checked out by your Doctor. You could or should tell the police too. He sounds like bad news, but it's time to set things straight.
It will be hard, and youj will be grounded, for a while, but they need to know, so they can take care of you and protect you.
2006-07-23 10:49:55 · answer #9 · answered by johnb693 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK, first of all when he gave you vodka he wanted to get you drunk and have sex with you(OBVIOUSLY!!!) and you must have known that.So now you know that your bf is a jerk that doesn't respect you and your choices, so I say leave him!!!And I hope you r still a virgin!!!
2006-07-23 10:55:02 · answer #10 · answered by scorpion prince89 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋