i been in a marriage that never went anywhere.I tried communication.It just won't do any good.He spend time with his friends and family,he doesn't take me out,and when i leave the house for a second,the kids say he closes the door to be on the phone.I'm not working and all i do is sit in the house all the time and be with my kids.Help?
2006-07-23 10:45:09 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Go to a counsellor yourself if you can. They can listen to exactly how you see the marriage, and maybe offer you ideas on how to draw him out. I myself would suggest reading "The Five Love Languages" as well, it might not help, but it can't hurt. It shows you to see how your spouse truly feels love, and if he's loved, but just doesn't feel it, this can help. Sometimes we really love people, but don't know how to show it in a way they could best receive it. Sometimes the difference between feeling really loved, and only somewhat can drive us to save a marriage. I wish you all the best. If you can't get him into counselling even after seeing a counsellor yourself, and working as much as you can, you'll have to give yourself some slack. You can't save a marriage or a relationship on your own, I tried up until a few months before I was to wed, and realized he was never going to work on it. I wish you all the best, and that you find a way to really get through to him.
2006-07-23 10:54:57 · answer #1 · answered by Kendra 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like youre in a no win situation. If he wont try counseling, there really isnt much you can do. He has some reason for not going but hes not telling. You have two choices, neither is easy but with different outcomes so its entirely up to you;1. stay and live with the way things are, or 2.cut your losses and contact a divorce paralegal or attorney. Barring any legal or medical reason, you will be awarded the kids, house and child support. There is no reason for staying in an unhappy marriage in todays society. The judge may order you two into counseling anyhow, but if he truly doesnt want it, it wont do any good. Good luck
2006-07-23 18:09:56 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only one you can change and control is yourself. I wish you the best on your journey. Mine finally changed when I filed for divorce for the 5th time and after I had been through so much pain that I had fallen out of love with him. It's really too bad for us. I hope your marriage doesn't take you on the same emotional roller-coaster mine did...all 16 years of it. This is a true story.
2006-07-23 18:09:39 · answer #3 · answered by Chromedragonfly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's not willing to go to counseling, then it sounds like he's not willing to help save your marriage. If you've exhausted every possibilty, it sounds like you may need to make a new and emotionally safer home for you and your children.
2006-07-23 17:56:47 · answer #4 · answered by Melissa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The last thing you can do is go get counsiling by yourself. If that doesn't work i'm afraid to say you might have to leave him.
2006-07-23 17:48:39 · answer #5 · answered by Widowed dad in michigan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your spouse doesn't want counseling, then prepare for a long messy divorce. he is telling you that he don't want help. file for divorce. it might be the only thing that will make him listen
2006-07-23 17:51:59 · answer #6 · answered by twash77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't save a sinking ship on your own.I tried for half my life.If he does'nt want to work on it,he's not worth it.
2006-07-23 17:52:31 · answer #7 · answered by Troy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to hear all this..
Hubby should take u out
2006-07-23 17:53:53 · answer #8 · answered by snow l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
D-I-V-O-R-C-E -- get a good lawyer.
2006-07-23 18:52:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋