my husband cheated on me emotionally with someone he worked with how do we get past this and heal...?

Question

he admitted to thinking he loved someone else and me both but they talked and decided to not let it go any further, i have forgiven my husband and kudos to him for telling me. But the pain and grief I feel are sometimes unbearable. I want us to be happy again. I wanna trust him with my heart and my love again, because he is in deep regret for ever thinking he could be, after he told me he said that he felt completely different towards her because he saw how much he loved me and how much pain he was in for hurting me. I want to get through this but I feel like my heart and love was betrayed, I still love my husband and I am still friends with the girl he thought he loved, I just feel like I cant get past this, I could really use some advice on how to start healing my heart and to keep our relationship in tact without feeling spiteful towards him, this is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with, infact I would have rather him had sex with her then feel that sort of connection...

Answer 1

The fact that he and his "other" decided to "not let it go further" tells me that his priorities lie with you. I believe that you are a fortunate woman. His love for you has been tested and you were proven to be deeper in his heart. Please put this behind you, realizing that both you and he have learned from the experience. It is probable that he will not allow this kind of friendship to happen again, since he values you above all others.

Going to the edge of a cliff is not fatal. Jumping is.

Answer 2

Emotional cheating is a real thing. Many people think that it's no harm to be "JUST FRIENDS" There is no such thing as "JUST FRIENDS" with men and women unless it is truely a A-Sexual relationship. There are these cases of pure friendship with men and women but they are rare. The only thing that will truely save your marriage is prayer. Beware, you say the woman and you are friends. Anyone with enough skill can look you straight in the face and smile with deceit in their heart. Your husband should not think he is strong enough to ignore her--those feeling never go away if he is continually working with her. Don't be fooled. If they are still working together, you can guarantee something will happen. They may not wish it to, or plan it but, that's how human nature works. If your husband really loves you, he'll find another job with the skills or, degrees he has. He has to commit to you by not putting himself in those situations. Also, maybe you two should go to marriage counseling.

Answer 3

I just found out the same thing happened with my husband, only about six years ago. Granted, it was a while ago, but it still hurts. He didn't really see it as cheating, but I do. I had to point it out to him and tell him how I consider it cheating just the same. He apologized for it profusely, but I still have a problem trusting him completely. He now is very open about EVERYTHING. He allows me to check up on anything he emails, text msgs., calls, etc .if I feel like it, just to put my mind at ease about anything. He hasn't seen this girl since he worked with her for the short time that it happened. I suggest you insist to your spouse that he get a new job, not tell the other young woman, and cut all ties with her (friends or not). Her being around him is just a temptation waiting to happen. And believe me...if he continues to be around her, it WILL happen. I don't know really what else to tell you except to try and love him just the same and try to deal with how insecure you must be feeling now. It's hard...but with time you can get through it together.

Answer 4

If the pain and grief are still there you haven't fully forgiven him...I make it a point to NEVER take a man back after he cheats but if you really want to get past this maybe you should start going to therapy or something with your husband...if you truly want to trust him again though you're going to have to put that behind you which will be hard to do so I think theraphy would be your best option...

Answer 5

Well, he didn't have to tell you at all. The fact that he's telling you is because he thinks your marriage is troubled.
HE NEEDS TO GET ANOTHER JOB #1.
#2 After he gets the new job *without telling her*, you two are too busy to see her.
#3 When he sees her make sure it's years and years and years later. She should be at least ten years older, and not at all the torch he held up in his mind.
Done.
#4 Make sure you do lots of fun and exotic trips with your husband, always surprise him for extra spark!
#5 Read Kosher Adultery by Shmuley Boteach. If your husband realizes that other men find YOU attractive, the tune will change right quick!

Answer 6

This is not a easy situation for you to be in. Some times those things happen as your husband cheated on you emotionally with some one else that you know; and it is natural of you to feel the way you feel about him. If you have to go on like that you will end up having all kinds of sickness falling on you.


Pray to God to show you the way to get over his situation. I don't know your religion, but prayer works wonders and your situation warrants his help. There must have been good times between you two for you to want to stay with him despite cheating on you.

The fact that you love your husband and willing to give him a second chance shows that you are a ( Gem ) and willing to sort out your marital problem and go from there.

The other thing to look at is to prevent this from may be happening in the future with some one else. There have to be some thing over time that lead to this behavior and base on your cool way of dealing with it.

Might mean you suspected some thing was in the works base on your ( Woman's Intuition ) which was waring you of this. Take steps to prevent this from happening again.

Answer 7

you aren't from now on responsible on your husband's infidelities. Did he inform you that? also how did you comprehend it changed into purely a kiss....did he inform you that too? i won't be able to inform you what to do jointly with your husband however I honestly have discovered a maximum efficient lesson only those days. once a cheater continually a cheater. I under no circumstances theory this certainty changed into actual with each and every person. i presumed in the adventure that they were really sorry, cried, promised and confirmed regret it might want to under no circumstances take position lower back. Then some thing equivalent to what you purely defined befell. I forgave too, alot of resentment interior yet I forgave. Then I had the prospect of chatting with the man they cheated with. Come to stumble on out more effective take position than what i changed into advised and it did not end. They were nonetheless in contact only no longer as a lot as earlier. My mate changed into nonetheless calling them and wanting to hitch up. So I inform you this so that you may want to study from different's blunders to avert heartache. i'm no longer telling you to divorce, i'm no longer telling you to stay. i'm declaring use your instinct to unravel that voice interior of that couldn't end screaming at you to DO some thing!!! perchance you stopped it earlier it really began and became an entire raging affair..perchance he felt responsible and got here actual out and advised you or perchance it changed into revealed in a special way. however deep down interior you comprehend precisely what to do and also you should no longer attempt to suppress it. best of success to you.

Answer 8

Everybody makes mistakes; sounds like he made a mistake, and realized it in time. Trust is the hardest thing to re-build, there are no recipes; I suppose couples' counseling might help, sometimes we get wrapped up in our own feelings and miss part of the bigger picture.

Answer 9

Don't be so fast to think it didn't go further, I'm really glad
you are willing to forgive him and try to get past it, but do
not simply believe him that nothing more happened then
the emotionally part.

Answer 10

Let it go. Your reading into it to much.