My new girlfriend just got word that her exboyfriend just killed himself because she wouldnt take him back.and now she is really sad and upset about it all. she feels as if its all her fault
2006-07-23 10:43:58 · 29 answers · asked by cushychan14 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
its really hard to find the words for this kind of situation. this is just my opinion but u shold just be there for her. u dont need to say much but just listen to her. let her vent. console her basically. uhm... let her feel and know that its not her fault...u probably have been doing that. so just be with her. there's a reason why they broke up. and there is a reasin why she is with u. the way i see things right now..the dude is all at fault. not her. god bless his heart but there were other ways of dealing with heartbreak. so yeah..this is just my opinion
2006-07-23 10:50:38 · answer #1 · answered by Aljohn T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suicide often has no answers. The person deciding to commit the act has their reasons in his/her own mind. Usually, once a person decides to do it, there's not much stopping them.
This guy was a coward who felt there was no other way out. He apparantly wasn't aware of all the help sites a person can go to, so he could deal with problems he was having.
I feel very badly for your g/f. SHE IS NOT TO BLAME!!!!! Besides, you mentioned she got word . . . from WHO? A "relaiable source"? Someone is trying to put a big guilt trip on her, for whatever reason.
The emotions she is having are natural, but I would advise seeking professional help IMMEDIATELY. If not, she will be facing much harder times! Believe me, do whatever you can to get her to a counselor.
I'll say a prayer for you tonight! Good luck! I care and hope everything turns out for the best! Please stay with her, allow her the time to heal that she needs. Be there for her in any way that you can. I also think that you're a pretty special guy to stand by her, especially when this involves an ex b/f of hers!
2006-07-23 10:54:13 · answer #2 · answered by penwrite5 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reassure her over and over that this is in no way her fault and be there for her as much as possible. We've all had hard break ups, if he killed himself, he obviously had much deeper problems and other things going on than just the break up.
2006-07-23 10:47:53 · answer #3 · answered by I77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try telling her it's not her fault. That he didn't have a reason for killing himself, and anyways she has no reason to feel bad about him killing himself over her. She wasn't meant to be with him so she left him, what more can she do? He is out of her hands when it comes to that. If he killed himself over her not wanting to be with him then thats his fault. She had nothing to do with that, she didn't love him anymore. You can't force love if it isn't there.
2006-07-23 10:48:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Comfort her as much as you can and support her... go along to the funeral if it will help her. Try and tell her that it was never her fault that he died. That she had the choice to not be with him and she decided that she didn't want to be and he wasn't her responsibility.
Whatever you do, don't talk bad about him infront of her. Let her know that if she needs to talk or cry or whatever, that you are there for her.
2006-07-23 10:47:03 · answer #5 · answered by susanradford18 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is going to take time for her to understand...that it's not her fault. Your girlfriends ex probably had issues related to depression and co-dependancy prior to being with your girlfriend. Instead of seeking help, he hid from the real truth of what was bothering him and totally depended on her.
To help her, just be there for her....if she needs to talk, cry, or whatever. Be patient with her. She needs time to grieve.
2006-07-23 10:48:42 · answer #6 · answered by Mom of One in Wisconsin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well buddy pal hombre! he killed his own damn self! If he was a douche bag enough to kill him self then the world don't miss'em. How the hell is that guy being a moron is her fault. he was screwed up to begin with hence the X boy friend. I say, good riddance to bad rubbish. Just dont say that to his nutty family.
2006-07-23 10:49:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, make sure she gets help from a Psychiatrist and/or Psychologist. Reasure her that it is not her fault that he killed himself. He was responsible for himself. You will help her by being there for her to talk. LISTEN....LISTEN.....LISTEN to her.
It will take a long time for her to deal with this loss. Be very patient with her and loving.
2006-07-23 12:33:09 · answer #8 · answered by Happy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suicide is one of the most selfish acts a person can commit. They leave trying to blame someone else for their own problems. Help your friend get some counseling now!
2006-07-23 10:46:13 · answer #9 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to go talk with a professional right away . All you could do for her is to let her know that you are there if she needs you. Obviously her ex was troubled and she can't hold herself responsible for what has happened.
2006-07-23 10:53:42 · answer #10 · answered by Bazinga 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋