help i am scared that my husband is....?

Question

Well my husband is a recovered addict of coke for 5 years now.. he quit when we meet and i told him i do not want a coke head.. anyway my brother who he hangs around with all the time.. got in to coke.. now i am so scared that he is going to relapse and do it all over again. I talked to my brother about it but it was like talking to the wall.. i asked my husband to please tell me if anything is going on so we can get help again. but all i got what shut the fuc* up i am not going to get in that **** again... i know oh if he loves you he will not do it.. that is not going to work for us..so many people love there families and still do that stuff..

Anyway what can i do to make sure that he does not fall in them tracks again? And what can i say to him to keep him strong..and try to keep him away from my brother.. him and my brother are best friends!

I will not think 2ce i will leave him if he gets back in that crap!

Answer 1

if he snaps and gets nad at you like that and his moods always end up angry, good chances are hes back on it, its hard to get over that ****, i was hooked on it for 4 years, and it took me 10 years to get over it,i had craveings right up to 10 years later, i walked in on a guy that i knew and he was cooking some up while his friends were smokeing some, ,they asked me if i wanted some i said no and walked out, on my way home i reaised i wasnt craveing for it ,it didnt bother me, o was proud and so was my wife, and to this day i live across the hall from dealing crqckheads and it dosent bother me, all im trying to say,its almost impossible for some people to get off it, easpecialy if there around it all the time, i wish you luck, but as far as i can see hes on it again. get out of there, while you can, cause it will destroy your life and family and anything you own.

Answer 2

Tell him instead of giving you hateful answers about it, you would think he would be a mentor to your brother as he knows first hand what coke can do to a person and how it can effect the lives of others. Your concerns and fears about this are for real and he isn't helping matter any by acting like a jerk. He knows exactly where you stand on his and he knows if he starts doing drugs again he looses you. The choices he makes are his.

Answer 3

Then pack your bags, now sister. If he doesn't respect you enough to sit down and talk to you, then how much is it worth in the first place?

And who gives a crap about your brother? If your bro is a coke head, and your hubby is a former coke head, well, it doesn't take Einstein to figure it out. Get out, while the gettin' is good.

Answer 4

My husband was an alcoholic before I met him. He figured he was ok to drink again and he started to and lets just say it almost ruined our marriage. We still have not recovered from things he did while drinking. Put your foot down. I said if he wanted to stay he had to quit. No more. He quit and has been sober over a year now but I will not hesitate to end my marriage if he starts again. It's not worth all the heartache and worry of "what's he doing"

Answer 5

Honey if you are suspicious, it's more than just hanging around with your cokehead brother involved here. You must notice behavior changes...I mean, if I had a man who talked to me that way, I would have packed his butt up and thrown him out. You can't possibly be that needy to disrespect yourself like this. Throw him back on the street where you got him and let him go live with your brother...then, move on. Try to love a sober guy.

Answer 6

There is absolutely nothing you can do...only he can do it...one way or another. If he chooses drugs over you, hold him to it without waivering. Period. Called tough love. I don't see where you have a choice. You cannot make someone stop, only they can do it, and you cannot prevent someone from starting again..he knows where just one line will lead, he has been there, and he is fooling himself if he thinks he can do it recreationally....the past does not lie. Be prepared for the worst, and I would drop my brother in a heart beat if he were to do that to me!

Answer 7

He cannot possibly love you if he doesn't love himself. You are no longer dealing with the person, you are dealing with the drugs. You can't save him from himself (and it's not your job to). Unless you need this to appease some kind of savior/martyr complex you have, then you will give him an ultimatium. It's your life. Do you want to be happy?

Answer 8

You should probably start packing now, as long as your husband has means to get it he is going to relapse back into old habits especially if it is easily available

Answer 9

Keep your eyes and ears open. If he's coke carry through with your promise of leaving.

Answer 10

Check with the folks at NA...they can help you discern the warning signs,...unfortunately, the scenario you describe doesn't sound promising. Good luck, pray hard...