Is this harrassment?

Question

My 13 yr old asked her dad NOT to come to her b-day party?
He showed up anyway because it was a public park.
He ignores her, NEVER calls unless her brother is here, Did NOT bring a gift and KNEW that her b/f would have to leave if "dad" showed up, but came anyway just to prove he can do whatever he wants! He's a 4 yr old in a 46 yr old body!! He supposedly has several medical conditions & is having kidney stone lazer surgery in a few days, yet rode a Harley 60 miles to ruin her party. Her b-day isn't for 3 weeks, so he had plenty of time to throw his own party. Do I have any legal recourse? Wishing he'd drop dead isn't working!

1. SHE TURNS 14 NEXT MONTH.
2. I DO NOT DISCOURAGE HER RELATIONSHIP WITH HER DAD, HE IGNORES HER, HIS MOM SENT HATE EMAIL TO HER UNTIL I BLOCKED IT
3. I WAS ABUSED BY HIM FOR YEARS & STILL HAVE TO FORCE VISITATION DUE TO LAW!
4. HER B/F IS ALSO 13 & THEY "DATE" BY HANGING OUT AT MY HOME W/ME, NEVER ALONE OR AT HIS HOUSE W/HIS MOM, NEVER ALONE. & TALKING ON THE PHONE FOR HOURS WHILE PLAYING VIDEO GAMES IN SEPERATE HOUSES!!
5. HER FATHER WAS SO GLAD TO BE AT HER PARTY (1 MONTH EARLY) HE BROUGHT NO GIFT OR CARD, TALKED TO HER BROTHER & FRIENDS MORE THAN HER AND WATCH HER START TO CRY WHEN I TOLD HER WE HAD TO GO
6. SHE TOLD HIM FRIDAY "PLEASE DON'T COME B/F'S MOM & DAD HATE WIFE BEATING, DRUG USERS.
7. MY DAUGHTER IS SMART ENOUGH TO KNOW WHO TREATS HER W/LOVE & RESPECT & WHO USES HER TO PISS OTHERS OFF!
SOME OF YOU ARE AS BAD AS HE IS!!
For those who underestand why a Mother would be upset about her child being emotionally abused by her "dad" THANK YOU!!

Answer 1

What an ***!! I feel so bad for you. Not only do you have to try to protect your child from her immature, insensitive father, but then you come here to ask for help & you get attacked! How dare these people call you a bad mom! I have an abusive X and I know how hard it is to get help protecting your kids from them, especially when the courts won't help. I can't imagine how your daughter must feel knowing her wants & wishes are not important to her father. He should've left her alone & had a party for her at his house. He's got some nerve, first he beats you, then ignores your child, comes where not welcome & expects you to welcome him with open arms??!!! I hope all the health problems he claims to have are real. That's karma & it appears he deserves a huge helping of it! Stay strong & ignore the idiots who blame you for being A GREAT MOM!!!

Answer 2

I doubt that you have any legal recourse unless you have a restraining order against him. If he's paying child support you probably couldn't get one either unless he has been violent with you or your kids. I guess ignoring him and asking her guests to try to be indifferent to him is all that you can do. You'd think he'd get the hint but some people are just ignorant. Perhaps you can tell your daughter that somewhere in his life he loved her very much and just maybe his memory has kicked in. Anyone can get through a few hours of misery knowing that he will soon disappear and be out of her life again. Eventually he'll get tired of making her mad if she becomes and actress and doesn't show that she's a powder keg underneath it all.

Answer 3

Well Im in almost the same boat as you except my husband is in your shoes. He has a right to seeing your daughter If you had a divorce decree that states he has to pay child support. If infact hes not earning up to paying you can file a complaint with SRS stating of his wearabouts and maybe even get them to make him pay. If you have none of those than he has his rights as a father to come to her birthday party. Girls at her age want to be like a grown up. Its pretty young to have a b/f anyway at 13. Little girls need there father. Not a b/f why not get some counseling for your family and they can decide If hes able to see her or not. If he can show up for counseling than theres something more wrong with him than meets the eye. Good luck you only make the matters worse If you let him think it bothers you and your children. If you act as though it means nothing to you to have him around he may just forget to call or show up. Anyways God Bless.

Answer 4

Obviously a very inconsiderate father and rude (hearing only one side). He has a legal right to see his daughter (unless the courts prevent it) and he chose a public place with witnesses. Unless he verbally threatens you or your daughter with harm you can't get a restraining order, however, you can get a court order restricting the places and times of his visits if you have legal recourse to do so in your state. Your 13 yr old may have a say in this as well at her age in your state. Ask your attorney.

Answer 5

Sounds like you have a lot of bitterness and you are ruining the relationship your daughter should be having with her father. With this kind of talk you are destructive. You should never have let your daughter tell him he couldn't come. If she felt that way, you should be teaching her how to love and forgive.

The work that is needed is on you, to be a forgiving, loving person as an example for your daughter.

If you think a daughter can throw her father away, check with a psychologist-it would be severely destructive to your daughter.

Answer 6

don't know if this qualifies as harrassment, but you're surely spending more time being upset than he is thinking about how he can ruin things for you.

you probably cannot stop him from showing up places without a restraining order, and you can't have him arrested if he hasn't done anything. you certainly add fuel to his fire by being visibly upset. can you imagine the number of deaths if people dropped dead because someone wished it?

focus on your daughter. at 13 she needs much more of your attention. eventually you're new focal point should cause his immature antics to slow down or cease....hopefully.

Answer 7

this is an unfortunate circumstance but there is not much you can do about it. Your daughter needs to tell him how she feels about what he has done.(it might not change the way he acts but your daughter might feel better because its off her chest, if he really loves her and cares he will listen and change his ways.)

In the future i suggest you and your daughter dont let him know whats going on (if he didn't know about the party he couldn't show up and spoil it, could he??)

when your daughter is of legal age and she feels he is harassing her and is a threat she can get a restraining order put against him.

Answer 8

He isn't doing anything dangerous or abusive. Unless there was something barring him legally from making such contact you don't have a case. Seek the advice of a lawyer if you want to change the situation for the mental health and safety of your daughter.

Answer 9

nope. you have no legal options on this one! i'm actually upset that you appear to be encouraging her to shut out her father. girls with "daddy" issues have "man" issues and lower self-esteem. a bad daddy is better than none. try encouraging her relationship and being civil with her father would be a good faith gesture. someone has to be the adult here... all good faith gestures have to start with ONE PERSON being the bigger person. so what that he has health issues... maybe he will live a shorter life because of it... so it's your job mom to have the girl find positive things she likes about her dad and to have her spend as much time as possible with him WHILE SHE HAS A DAD TO LOVE.

Happy 13th to your daughter... these years will fly by and all we have in the end are our memories of the events that transpire.

Answer 10

Not harrassment. Why does a 13 yr old have a b/f that would leave for that reason? Not like they are married and thats kind of young to be acting like that.