My child asked her dad NOT to come to her b-day party?

Question

He showed up anyway because it was a public park.
Is that harrassment?
He ignores her, NEVER calls unless her brother is here, Did NOT bring a gift and KNEW that her b/f would have to leave if "dad" showed up, but came anyway just to prove he can do whatever he wants! He's a 4 yr old in a 46 yr old body!! He supposedly has several medical conditions & is having kidney stone lazer surgery in a few days, yet rode a Harley 60 miles to ruin her party. Her b-day isn't for 3 weeks, so he had plenty of time to throw his own party. Do I have any legal recourse? Wishing he'd drop dead isn't working!

I have NOT tried to turn her against him! She invited her grandfather & brother. dad is an abuser, on script drugs, drinks, & looks like a ZZ Top REJECT! She is embarrassed by him & her boyfriend's mom made me promise to take him home if "dad" showed up. I had the kids in the car & a friend packing up the picnic & daddy dearest was still there! Finally after hiding down the road for 15 minutes w/ daughter & b/f, he left. This morning he called, talked to the brother & hung up before she was out of the shower.

CAN ANYONE READ?? I DID NOT TELL HER NOT TO INVITE HER FATHER. SHE DID NOT WANT HIM THERE. SHE REMEMBERS HIM BEATING ME, I DON'T TALK ABOUT IT! VISITATION? IT WAS MY WEEKEND! HER B/F'S PARENTS DON'T WANT THEIR SON AROUND A WIFE BEATING, DRUG USING, ALCOHOL DRINKING, CHIULD ABUSER!! (emotionally so far) WHY ARE SO MANY BASHING ME? BEING A SUPPORTIVE, LOVING, PROTECTIVE, CHRISTIAN MOTHER IS WRONG NOW????!!!!!

Answer 1

Spouse abuser, drug & alcohol user compared to a caring Mom. He really doesn't care who he hurts as long as he can continue to be a thorn in your side. Keep a list of every hateful thing he does to the 2 of you. Then take him back to court, he doesn't deserve visitation.

Answer 2

No, it is not harrassment unless there is an order of restraint. Quite the contrary, if there is an order of visitation and you attempt to interfere with his right to court ordered visitation and parental rights, you must tread carefully. You could in turn have a complaint filed against you. Visitation interference is grounds for a change of custody regardless of the opinions of the children involved.

Teenagers have a tedency to shift their loyalties from parent to parent depending on their wants and needs at a given time. I'm sure that her opinion of her father is based upon your opinion of him. You need not impart your views of your ex to your kids, they have eyes and memories of their own and when they go their own way into the world they will remember more about the types of people you both were and make their own opinions based on that more than what on you said about or how you treated each other.

Please remember, your relationship with the father and the children's with him are separate. No matter how you feel about him, he is still their father who you once loved and you both have duties to your children and should work together for their best interests.

I do not know your complete situation nor am I defending his actions, I am just giving the perspective of a divorced father who later was granted custody of our now grown children.

Answer 3

In response to your last addition. You have to realize that there are always 2 sides to every story and some people are just trying to imagine his, before making a fair decision.

How did he know there was a party and the location of the party? If your child is old enough to seek legal help (restraining order) then let her know that. If she is not old enough, don't push anything, it means she's still a child and a decision like that should not be taken lightly. It's obvious he irritates the hell out of you but let this decision be something she makes and initiates all on her own.

Answer 4

What does the court say about visitation? How old is the child? I feel for you; I just got an ex parte order stopping visitation, but have to go back to court. She's been telling him to stay away for about 9 months and he kept showing up HIGH, so that's how we got the order. Is he dangerous or just a jerk? If he shows up and it is not his time for visitation but it's public I just don't know. Ask your lawyer. It does sound like he wants to be a child and force the child to be an adult. Typical. Wish I could help you more but I know sometimes just knowing other people deal with the same crap can help. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 5

Sounds like maybe you have the problem. Kida will say what they think the parent wants. Counsellors get the truth. Would you want to hear that?

Adults relationship problems should not be allowed to affect the child.

Looking at your question I sadly have the feeling that he might have a better legal case!

Stop thinking of yourself and start thinking about your daughter. Courts believe kids need access to both parents. If you keep trying to block the father out - who do you think might get custody?

Your daughters interests come before yours.

Answer 6

What a selfish idiot! I'm glad you left him, if he beats his wife the kids are usually next. I can see why your daughter asked him to stay away. Maybe your wish will come true while he's having surgery or at least the kidney stones will be unbearably painful when he's passing them. ;)

Answer 7

Unless there is a restraining order, no, he came, it appears you did not order him to leave the party area, or call the police on him to ask him to leave the area.

And why would her b/f have to leave ?

Hold party in private home, or rented area next time.

Next why did he even know when and where it was, no one should have even told him.

Answer 8

How much is mommy contributing to the daughter angst? It appears you have done a great job of putting daddy in the dirt.

Answer 9

How did he know about the birthday in the first place? I think you could go and get a restraining order against him, but carefully weigh out the pros and cons of it first.

Answer 10

harrasment? nope. Harrasment is having a court order telling him to stay away and he stops by anyway. If there is any sort of court order granting him visitation rights, he can show up if he so chooses.