2006-07-23 08:12:59 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Just be there... let them know that you are there to talk when they are ready.
2006-07-23 08:15:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be very careful about what you say with those who've lost someone to suicide. There are a few things you shouldn't ask under any circumstances. For example:
- Do not ask any details about how it happened. It could have been peaceful or it could have been violent. Let them share the details they are comfortable with sharing.
- Do not ask them if they felt close to them. It may sound stupid but believe me it happens. When you ask someone that they start to mentally define what their relationship was. They are probably questioning everything else already and don't need that.
- Do not mix religious values with it at all. Some people believe that you wasted the life god gave you by killing yourself. Whether you believe that or not that's fine but it doesn't do the other person any good to start thinking their father might be going to hell.
- It is important to express that you are sorry but that is pretty much what everyone says so after you've given a heartfelt sorry don't say it every time you see the person. This is something else people do and believe it or not it becomes irritating because at that time the person is so sick of hearing "I'm sorry" and it no longer has meaning. The other thing people ask over and over is "how are you doing?". You can ask this too, and you should, but not too often. How do you think they are feeling... I mean really, they just lost a loved one to suicide.
The best thing to remember is to talk to the person honestly and like an adult. Some people make the mistake of treating victims of suicide like children. And after all that... the most important thing to remember is that you should be listening more than anything. It may feel uncomfortable for you but think of how uncomfortable it is for them. Just listen as much as you can.
Good luck and god speed.
2006-07-23 15:24:04 · answer #2 · answered by jasenlee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's sad when that situation arises. However, there is hope! You just need to be yourself. Be there in case your friend needs someone to talk to, but don't offer any opinions on why he committed suicide. They already know that by him committing suicide that he had issues that were deeper than anyone in their family could deal with, without help. Just be polite, take your friend dinner (because sometimes people grieving forget to eat), and listen. Good Luck
2006-07-23 15:17:15 · answer #3 · answered by marks3kids 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say little, but be there for support. There is no way to rationalize or explain what happened, and unless your friend is of a very religious persuasion I would not presume to try to comfort him/her with religious homilies. The only thing that may bring about some healing is the passing of time. The very best thing for your friend right now is to be able to count on your presence and caring. Watch for signs of long lasting depression or radically different behavior, and if this occurs I hope you'll be able to steer your friend to a counselor. Good luck.
2006-07-23 15:27:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you can do. That kind of loss is very different. All that you can do is let them know you are there for them and mean it. Stay in touch with them frequently. The immediate grief is replaced alot of times with deep severe depression and guilt over their loved ones suicide.
You're friendship and constant support could be the buffer that prevents that from happening to them. Best of luck !!
2006-07-23 15:19:29 · answer #5 · answered by Silased2267 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the most tragic I have heard so far in the Q & A. I am really sorry. I do not know what to say. Maybe stand by him and lend a listening ear. Be a good listener.
2006-07-23 15:16:47 · answer #6 · answered by Bright 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no right or wrong answer to this question. It won't be what you said that your friend will remember, but what you did. Just be there for your friend, and let them start the talking. It may be that he/she doesn't want to talk, but very much needs to be with someone.
2006-07-23 15:23:30 · answer #7 · answered by Renae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
say nothing about the actual fact that has happened, talk about normal things in both of your lives, when he/she wants to talk about it, she knows where you are
this following link is about how to cope after a loved one has committed suicide, but you may be able to use this in your tact in approaching your friend....and depending on your relationship with him/her, you may be able to approach him/her with the document, I wouldnt straight away of course, but use your best judgement, hopefully she will see how much you care for him/her, and how you want to help him/her
hope this helps
2006-07-23 15:22:10 · answer #8 · answered by paul_heilbron 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not much you can say, but be there for them if they need you, or they need to talk. They might need to be alone too, so just ask them what you can do for them.
John
2006-07-23 15:17:19 · answer #9 · answered by Scorpion 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just let them know that you're there for them and.try and be the best friend that you can.Right now thats what he needs is a good friend to talk to and be with.
2006-07-23 15:16:52 · answer #10 · answered by Angel sent from heaven 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes its not what you say... just being there for your friend when they need you and listening when they talk to you about it should be enough. dont think extra hard for something to say. wait until they start talking to you about it... if its something natural itll probably mean more
2006-07-23 15:15:49 · answer #11 · answered by Impala_Gurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋