FIRST BEST ANSWER GETS 10 POINTS tomorrow!?

Question

How can i make this sound more perfesional and what other big words could i use?
My name is Brooke and I am a mature and responsible 15 year old, searching for more babysitting jobs.
My qualifications are as follows:

* I have 3 years of babysitting experience with children ranging from 10 months to 10 years old
* have general knowledge in first-aid, CPR, and babysitting through school and currently working towards certificate
* Am reliable, punctual, responsible, and trustworthy and will keep your children safe
- Will give devote my full attention to your kids

- Flexible schedule
- Reasonable prices (negotiable)
- Will do light house work (cleaning) while children are asleep
- I also offer to walk dogs, cook simple meals, & help with homework
- Available to baby-sit in the Olney/Brookeville area (local)

Contact me if you have any questions or to check availability at…
Home:
Cell:
Email:

Answer 1

thanks for taking my suggestions.
looks like u really want to perfect this one...
ok if i was to be really anal about what u wrote (and assuming this is still a flyer)...
still need an eye-catching header (short, and tells everyone what u r offering).
be less wordy: change "My qualifications are..." to "Background Information"
"-3 years of babysitting experience with children ages 10 months to 10 years old."
"-general knowledge in first-aid, CPR" (btw- if ur certified in cpr/first aid...u should write that instead of 'general knowledge.')
by "babysitting through school" what did u mean? if it's a class then list it as a class...write the title of the class and the school u took it at...and say "completed ____ class at ____."
if ur charging by the hour...i would change "prices" to "rates"
change "will do light..." and "i also offer to walk..." to "other services: tutoring, dog walking, light house work, some cooking"
delete "(local)" and "if u have any questions or to check availability at.." u could just write "Contact Information"
something to consider about the contact information...it's ok what u listed here but some people would list less because they don't want everyone/strangers calling on their cell or something like that. if this is a concern for u, u could just list one contact info and release the others if they become ur clients. after all, if they really want to have u babysit for them, they will contact u that one way.
also r u putting tear offs at the bottom edge of ur flyer? (u know, the ones with just a short statement (like "for babysitting call"), and your name and number...so that people can just tear off the piece of paper without having to write down ur info or ripping the flyer off the wall.)

Answer 2

You're on the right track, but you really want to sell yourself on a resume. Always be sure to tell the truth about your experience, but work on making your resume stand out from the crowd. This applies for other jobs too.
You might want to change it to something like this:

* 3 years babysitting experience including infants, toddlers; kindergarten, and elementary school aged children.
* Professionally trained in life saving first-aid, and CPR; official certification completed on xx/xx/xxxx (list a date)
* I am very reliable and always punctual, responsible, and trustworthy; It is my first priority to ensure that your children experience a happy, fun, and safe babysitting experience.

- Flexible daytime schedule; also available evenings, weekends, and holidays
- I will do light house work while children are sleeping
- I am also available to walk your dogs, cook simple meals, & help your children with their homework
- Available to baby-sit in the Olney/Brookeville area

***don't worry about saying reasonable prices...all babysitters offer reasonable prices, and most parents are more concernced with hiring a good babysitter than saving a few dollars***

Hope this helps a little, and good luck.

Answer 3

Include your last name, you can say your age if you want, but it's not necessary, nor is saying you are mature and responsible in the introduction. Considering that you have stated that below in the qualifications. Leave out the devotion to kids part, if they hire a babysitter most people assume you will do that. The rest sounds fine.

Answer 4

i think what u have is perfectly fine and sounds very perfesional for a15 yaer old , have faith. anyone who doesn't respond to your add and needs a babysiter is totaly out of there MIND!

Answer 5

http://sitterland.com/